SWORD:
1:
Mastersword as an interviewer: Эй, princess Twilight. Good having Ты here.
Twilight: Sure.
Sword: First off. How dose it feel being the forth princess ever?
Twilight: (barely even lessoning) Yes. I wouldn't be here without my friends.
Sword: That's nice. But the Вопрос is, how dose it make 'you' feel. YOU!?
Twilight: (still barely lessoning) Yes. That is diffently a Вопрос being asked. And I'm confident in my friends. And getting it done.
Sword: Okay.. Have to be honest with you. I feel like this interview. Is going absolutely nowhere. Ты answered 'none' of my questions. Ты kinda sound like a broken automatic response system, that's only been tought 4 phrases.
Twilight: (not lessening) Thanks. It's been an experience.
Sword: *annoyed* Yeah it has!
Twilight: *listing stuff about friendship*
Sword: What are yo- *looks behind him* Are Ты Чтение cue cards wait now!?.. What is this!?
Twilight: *still Чтение off them*
Sword: (proving point to audience) What's your name lady!?
Twilight: .. Dedication.
Sword: (angrily to camera) Her name is dedication!.. Ты know what, (storming off) this interview is over!... *offview* WHERE'S GOD DAMN BEER!?
2:
Saten: (a год или two ago) Excuse me. I'm looking for the owner this business?
Mare: Wait though there (points at Master Swords office)
Saten: (starting going in).
Master Sword: (hiding behind wall) Come on. Come on.
Saten: (walks in) Excuse me I-
Sword: (tackles him and start violently beating him up)... (stops).. Sorry. (pants). I thought Ты were the mafia.
Saten: N No I'm Saten Twist.
Sword: Who?
Saten: I've been asked to interview you.
Sword: Interview!?. (eyes narrow) Well. Ты can't interview a dead man now CAN YOU! (jumps out the four story window, and ends up going into ambulance, and he waves evily to Saten, as Saten watches him get lifted into the ambulance).
3:
Iron will: Welcome. To Iron wills Показать on being assertive.. Here's how being assertive works. Ты take down who's bigger then you.. Example. Who's the toughest пони in the crowd?
Sword: (there with Fluttershy) Well. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I believe I hold the extinction o- (gets grabbed by Iron will and gets violently beaten up from off view).
Iron Will: Alright. Know who's the funniest?
Sword: I know my way around a jo- (starts getting beat up again).
4:
Twilight: (sleeping soundly).. (she is suddenly awaken by a loud gunshot) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? (runs done stairs, and suddenly gasps)..
Master Sword: (holding pistol, and Santa Clause is seen laying dead from a bullet though his head).. (groans). Before Ты start.
Twilight: Иисус christ!
Master Sword: (annoyedly) Okay! Before, you, start!
Twilight: падуб, holly, холли SHIT!
Master Sword: (annoyed) Ты gonna let me explain!?
Twilight: (angry) Yes Sword! I would Любовь to know why Ты shot and killed, FATHER CHRISTMAS!
Master Sword: ... He startled me!
Twilight: (annoyed) HE STARTLED YOU!?
Master Sword: He! Startled me!
Twilight: (sarcastically) Oh, guess he should apologize than!
Master Sword: Well. That'll be kinda hard, cause.. I shot him..
Twilight: Great... So what now.
Master Sword: Well. Looks like I better save Christmas..
Twilight: Ты can't be serious!?
Master Sword: I don't see any other opinion..
Twilight: ... Ты planned this, didn't you!?
Master sword: Whaaaaat!? No!
Twilight: Ты planned this! I know Ты did!
Master Sword: Ты honestly think I wou-
Spike: (comes out, in elf costume) Эй, Sword. The sled is ready, an. (sees twilight). Uh oh..
(long pause).
Master Sword: Ты would not believe how cheap that elf costume was.
Twilight: (starts growling)
Master Sword: (happily) I украл, палантин it.
5:
Saten finally took a train back to Ponyville.
Loud police voice: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering) I'LL SHOOT YOUR LEGS OFF!
Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me.
Saten: Sword? Ты scared th- Oh shit, did Ты steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!
Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of украл, палантин it.. Prove.. I did!
Saten: But dude! Ты can't steal police cars! Ты know how illage that is!?
Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.
Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.
Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?
(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful пушка in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).
Master Sword is still driving the police car, Saten is now in the passinager seat.
Saten: I still can't believe Ты pulled this off dude.. And now your even speeding.
Master Sword: Yeah wel-
Radio: Car 53, we're Ты heading in such a hurry?
Master Sword: zoh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.
Radio: There's a bank robbery!?
Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).
Saten: Dude, we're are Ты going!?
Master Sword: Didn't Ты hear! Theirs a bank robbery!
Saten: What!? No theirs not-
Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-
Master Sword waved a loaded pistol around the bank.
Master Sword: YOUR BEING ROBBED!
6:
Master Sword: Why'd Ты bring me to Cake N' бекон, бэкон for our third date, I HATE this place!
Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!
Derpy: Is it possible we're having two different conversations?
Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!
7:
Saten finds Sword at a control room, somehow allowed to smoke weed. Saten grabs a microphone. ''Sword, whatever Ты don't press the Destruct button!'' Saten shouts.
Transmitted into the booth: Sword (Static) Press (Static) Destruct button!
Saten (stoned): sure thing pretty lady.
Saten: Don't do it! You'll kill everyone!
Transmitted: (Static) Do it! (Static) Kill everyone!
Sword very very slowly reaches his hand/hoof to the button, even lampshading this by saying ''Sure is taking me a long жопа, попка time to reach it.''
Saten begins panicking, where suddenly Glaze walks in with a security guard outfit. ''Saten look I have a new jo-''
Saten immediately grabs the handgun she was licenced to have. ''Hey!'' she shouts.
''Must, kill, best friend!'' Saten cried, firing three shots though the glass, all three hitting Sword in the chest. But he just stands there.
''Damn it man fall backwards'' Saten groaned.
Sword dramatically paces all over the room, landing on his stomach, near the button.
''Phew.'' Saten said.
Sword suddenly flips over to his back, inches from the button.
''Phew.'' Saten said.
Sword's tongue sticks up, pressing the button.
Saten; Aw, Ты STUPID SON OF A-
The town violently explodes in a nuclear explosion,.
8:
Sword goes to turn on the TV but finds static.
Sword: (calmly) Hmm, cables out.. Maybe I'll have a beer, annnnd there's no пиво in here, haha, how lovely.
Derpy: Sword, wow, your taking this very we-
Sword: I'll kill you! I'LL KILL ALL OF YO-
Derpy: Sword!
Sword: Kidding, kidding, maybe I'll check out that axe cellection.. See Ты later (leaves).
9:
Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving Ты people the bird.
Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!
Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.
SATEN: (a character I found became better over time, I don't much like most of his old roles, I find he gets better in Season 4.. Will have to remaster it if I ever Опубликовать them)
1:
Pinkie: Dash made a bet with Spike that she'll make him fall in Любовь with her.
Saten: Annnd. Your taking advantage of your Друзья by going into their personal business by betting money on it.
Pinkie: I... Guess.
Saten: No fair! I was gonna do that!
2:
Saten: Fired!? Why am I fired!?
Boss pony: Cause Ты only been here a week, and Ты keep getting drunk on the samples.
Saten: Okay. Not gonna lie.. I 'might' be an alcoholic.
3:
Saten: Soo.. Ponyville is being invaded by huge vine-like plants? And the princesses have been captured?
Twi: Yes.. Except for me.
Saten: (turns to AppleJack) Hey.. Remember how Ты keep saying "only when hell freezes over".. Well.. I think this qualifies..
AppleJack: What are ya talking abo-
Saten: (thinking it might be some kind of "end of the world" deal, Saten suddenly kisses her on the lips, much to her complete shock).
4:
Discord: So.. Guess they're gone.
Saten; Yeah.. I can do anything I want. (takes out the weed bong again)
Discord: Umm.. I don't think they were stopping Ты from taking that.
Saten: Yeah. But they 'were' stopping me from robbing Ты bu- screw it. Give me your wallet!
Discord: Excuse me!?
Saten: Ты heard me I сказал(-а) (points knife) GIVE ME YOUR WALLET!
Discord: *(nervously hands it over)
Saten: (takes it).. This wallet sucks.. Ты have bad stuff.
5:
Sword: Your cousin single.
Saten: I guess wh- Oh no.. No way. Don't even think about it!
Sword: Just once.. Please.
Saten: No... Ты just end up hurting her.. And I'll end up killing you.. And not simple killings either. I mean like really creative killings. Like in those SAW movies.
Sword: (ends up asking her out anyway)
Saten: She'll never agre- (Derpy agrees)
Derpy: Saten. He's not even as dorky as Ты say he is.
Sword: Wha-
Saten: Well.. I still loved pranking him anyway.
Derpy: (laughs) Ты did?..
Saten: Yes.. I remember I use to put fibreglass shards in his gym shorts. Every time he had to take a pee. He'd come back crying. *Saten and Derpy laugh*
Sword: It wasn't funny. It was painful.. Wasn't so much the fiber. As it was the glass!.. I had to get a urethra transplant.. And those are COSTLY!
Sword: Ты should hear his еще Последнее ones.. (to Saten) Tell her what Ты did a the other day.
Saten: Well.. I mailed a wild hog to house the other day.
Sword: (angrily) THERE'S GIANT PIG WITH HORNS! LIVING IN THE BASEMENT!
Saten: Plus.. The time before that. We were suppose to have a sleepover at his house., I was planning to sneak laxatives into his cereal.. But the sleep over got canceled so I couldn't get him with that one.
Derpy: Ohh... But the idea was still there.
Saten: Oh! Differently (they high five)
Sword: (arrogantly) HE DIDN'T GET ME THOUGH! He didn't get me... DidyougetmeSaten? Didyougetme!?
Satan: No-
Sword: No! Ты did not get me!.. Who didn't get me... Saten Twist.
Saten: Ты know what.. Fuck it.. Fine. Ты guys can go out.. But only once.
Sword: Good enough. *leaves*
Sword: Alright Derpy.. Let's go.
Derpy: Fine.
Sword: Just remember one thing tonight. One thing.. Your cousin did NOT get me with the poop thing..
6:
AJ: (sadly) Ah.. Ah think we need ta break up
Saten: (holding large wine bottle, having finally opened it) What!? Why!?
AJ: It's.. It's just not working out.
Saten: Why!?
AJ: Well.. For one thing. Ya drink WAY ta much
Saten: No I don't! (ends up chugging down the entire bottle of wine in less then five minutes, much to AJ's shock).
7:
Trixie: I'm glad your finally over AppleJack.. Who needs her anyway. She didn't understand you.. Ты need someone who dose understand you.. Someone who Ты knew your entire life..
Saten: Ты mean Derpy?
Trixie: Well.. Sure.. Derpy.. But I meant some else who knew Ты for your entire life. And she always had a thing for you.. Who knows.. She might be sitting wait in front of you.
Saten: (oblivious) I honestly have no idea what your going on about Trixie. But your voice is soothing, and strangely I feel better.. (happily) Thanks, Ты always such a great friend.
Trixie: (sighs) Sure... Friend.
8:
Saten: So, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chillies is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
Trixie: ... I concur, but Ты changed the subject. What are we doing for hearts and hoove's Day?
Saten: ... Oh, Ты caught that, did you?
9:
Saten: Derpy I need to your opinion about something?
Derpy: I was gonna tell Ты the same thing.
If I don't do something about this wrong день mishap, I'm not sure if Cranky Danky will ever forgive me.
Saten: (not listening) Trixie wants me to try being a better boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do.
Derpy: (also not listening) Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Saten: Maybe I should ask AppleJack for advice. She always tried making me a better boyfriend, but I wasn't listening at the time.. Classic me.
Derpy: I offered Danky a refund but it didn't help too much.
Saten: Perhaps I should bring an notepad. Список the things AppleJack will say..
Derpy: Ты know what? I'll probably end up making a Список of ways to fix this.
Saten: I'm glad we talked.
Derpy: I'm always here for Ты cousin.
Saten: Me too.
10:
Saten: I even got her autograph.
Twi: That was a restraining order.
Saten: Yeah.. But she still signed it.. It goes great Далее to my restraining order from Lauren Faust.
11:
Saten: Can Ты get the pepper, please?
Pinkie: I don't know how much longer I can last.. I am gonna explode if I don't tell somebody.
Saten: It'll be fine. Now please pass the pepper!
Pinkie: Hang on. I don't feel like you're taking this dilemma seriously.
Saten: Fine sweetie. Ты have my undivided attention.
Pinkie: Okay, now, the Shining сказал(-а) I still can't tell anyone the surprise.
Saten: (sarcastically) No way!
Pinkie: Yeah, well, it's true. But I am killing myself over here!
Saten: (sarcastically) Well, we wouldn't want that!
Pinkie: No, see? Well, Ты absolutely would not. And furthermore, this is getting harder than ever before!
Saten: (sarcastically) You're kidding!
Pinkie: No, I am not.
Saten: (sarcastically) This is a nightmare. How will Ты ever make a decision?
Sheldon Ты see? I don't know. What should I do?
Saten: (angrily pounding table) PLEASE! PASS! THE PEPPER!
12:
Derpy: I.. I don't know about this Saten.. This place is giving me the creeps.
Saten: Relax, it'll be fine.. (knocks on the door to a old, rusty looking, trailer).
Trevor Phillips: (opens his door) Hello?
Saten: (holds contact) Hi, do Ты mind signing this contact to legalize wee-
Trevor: (suddenly punches Saten square in the nose, knocking him off the steps and onto the ground) I make a SHIT load of money selling that stuff! Last thing I can handle is legalism, NOW FUCK OFF!
Saten: (holding his nose as Derpy helps him up) Ты could of just сказал(-а) no!
Trevor: What's the fun in that?
Saten: Your a dick.
Trevor: WHAT!?.. (pulls out gun) SAY THAT AGAI- (Suddenly there's an explosion from inside the trailer).
Trevor: DAMN IT MICHAEL! I TOLD Ты NOT TO SMOKE IN HERE!
Michael: (off view) Eh, shut up!
Saten: Who's your friend?
Trevor: Why are Ты still here!? FUCK OFF!
Saten: (angrily) Ты fuck off.
Derpy: (nervously grabs leaves) Cousin, the guy has a gun.
Saten: Yeah, well I bet it's not real (gets nearly shot) LEAVING! (he and Derpy run off).
Derpy: Well... That was scary.
Saten: Yeah.. But we still need a lift.. Lets ask her.
Carly Jade: (walking by) Who me?
Saten: Yeah.. Mind giving us a lift to the air port?
Carly: Sure kid, just let me put my lawn trimmings in the trunk.. (puts a suspicious looking body bag into the хобот, ствол of her car).
Derpy: Saten.. I -I think that was a body.
Saten: Yeah, I thought so two, but than she сказал(-а) it was lawn trimmings, gotta learn to listen Derpy.
13:
Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a звезда for the tree. Smiling the whole time.
Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?
Critters: Ohhhh!
Beary: It's the nicest звезда I ever saw.
Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery сказал(-а) with a smile...
Beavery (smiling): How would Ты like to sing and dance with us for a while?
Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...
Stan [doesn't smile] Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. [turns around, and walks off]
14:
Narrator: "I know!" Saten Twist сказал(-а) with a new happy grin, "I'll go back to the forest and speak with those critters again!"
Saten: [waves the narrator away and leaves his desk]
Narrator: He ran out the living room, turned out the light, and went back to the forest to set everything right!
Saten enters the living room, hops on the sofa, and turns on the TV.
TV: In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground, is where I spent most of my days.
Narrrator: (aham) And he went back to the forest to set everything right!
Angry look on his face, Saten turns the volume up to drown out the narrator.
Narrator: He tried to ignore the issue with TV, but his conscience caught up with him, and to the forest he did flee...
Saten: (turns it louder)
Narrator: He thought he could hide from his problems - not true! [Saten rolls his eyes] He knew in his сердце the thing he had to do!
Saten (annoyedly): Leave me alone!
Narrator: He knew that only by going to the forest could he -
Saten: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!.. GOD! [He turns off the TV, hops off the sofa and walks out the door, leaving the remote control on the floor.]
15:
Saten (pacing and mumbling): Stupid Maggie. Non-inventing, recipe-stealing, wanna say bitch, but still friend, maybe.
Starlight: Would Ты calm down. Maybe Ты can take consolation in that something Ты created is making people happy.
Saten (high pitched voice): Ohhh, look at me I'm making people happy! (flapping pegasus wings) I'm a lovely little бабочка flapping my бабочка wings! (skips around) I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, Lalalala! [leaves the room, slamming the door; pokes his head back in] Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. [closes the door again]
Starlight (annoyed): Well, duh.
16:
Pinkie: Master Sword thinks he can fly off of his roof.
BonBon: Yeah. He could die.
Trixie: Probably.
Saten: ... Do it! Do it Sword!
Sword: I'm gonna!
Trixie: I wouldn't if I were you. Those wings don't look very strong.
Saten (gets camera out): Don't listen to 'em, dude! I'm sure it'll work. Go for it!
17:
urns out the only place Saten and Trixie can afford ends up being Stab City from San Andreas, again confirming the GTA universe to exist here, except they are all ponies. Having spent most of the money on one of the trailers alone they barely have enough for a пицца to eat, and basically have to camp as all they could afford was one lone lamp, as outside the Остаться в живых MC are having a party, Carly heard there two, but sounding drunk.
Остаться в живых MC Member knocking on neighbour trailer: Charlotte! Charlotte, I know Ты in there, bitch!
Female Voice: Leave me alone!
Trixie whimpers fearfully, Saten holds her.
Saten: It's okay, it'll be okay. We have light. As long as we have light, we're okay.
Suddenly Johnny Klebitz pokes his head though the window, and wordlessly grabs the lamp.
Johnny: I got еще for the fire! (distant cheers)
Остаться в живых MC Member knocking on neighbour trailer: Open, bitch!
Trixie: Oh, can't we just let Sword live at the house?
Saten: And encourage his freeloading lifestyle?! No way! Look, it's just one month. We'll get used to it.
(the LostMC guy bursts down the door and gunshots are heard):
LostMC Member: Haha, Ты dead bitch!
Poor Trixie quietly sobs.
Saten: (holds her) It's okay. She's dead. She's finally dead. (kisses her forehead) She's dead now.
1:
Mastersword as an interviewer: Эй, princess Twilight. Good having Ты here.
Twilight: Sure.
Sword: First off. How dose it feel being the forth princess ever?
Twilight: (barely even lessoning) Yes. I wouldn't be here without my friends.
Sword: That's nice. But the Вопрос is, how dose it make 'you' feel. YOU!?
Twilight: (still barely lessoning) Yes. That is diffently a Вопрос being asked. And I'm confident in my friends. And getting it done.
Sword: Okay.. Have to be honest with you. I feel like this interview. Is going absolutely nowhere. Ты answered 'none' of my questions. Ты kinda sound like a broken automatic response system, that's only been tought 4 phrases.
Twilight: (not lessening) Thanks. It's been an experience.
Sword: *annoyed* Yeah it has!
Twilight: *listing stuff about friendship*
Sword: What are yo- *looks behind him* Are Ты Чтение cue cards wait now!?.. What is this!?
Twilight: *still Чтение off them*
Sword: (proving point to audience) What's your name lady!?
Twilight: .. Dedication.
Sword: (angrily to camera) Her name is dedication!.. Ты know what, (storming off) this interview is over!... *offview* WHERE'S GOD DAMN BEER!?
2:
Saten: (a год или two ago) Excuse me. I'm looking for the owner this business?
Mare: Wait though there (points at Master Swords office)
Saten: (starting going in).
Master Sword: (hiding behind wall) Come on. Come on.
Saten: (walks in) Excuse me I-
Sword: (tackles him and start violently beating him up)... (stops).. Sorry. (pants). I thought Ты were the mafia.
Saten: N No I'm Saten Twist.
Sword: Who?
Saten: I've been asked to interview you.
Sword: Interview!?. (eyes narrow) Well. Ты can't interview a dead man now CAN YOU! (jumps out the four story window, and ends up going into ambulance, and he waves evily to Saten, as Saten watches him get lifted into the ambulance).
3:
Iron will: Welcome. To Iron wills Показать on being assertive.. Here's how being assertive works. Ты take down who's bigger then you.. Example. Who's the toughest пони in the crowd?
Sword: (there with Fluttershy) Well. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I believe I hold the extinction o- (gets grabbed by Iron will and gets violently beaten up from off view).
Iron Will: Alright. Know who's the funniest?
Sword: I know my way around a jo- (starts getting beat up again).
4:
Twilight: (sleeping soundly).. (she is suddenly awaken by a loud gunshot) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? (runs done stairs, and suddenly gasps)..
Master Sword: (holding pistol, and Santa Clause is seen laying dead from a bullet though his head).. (groans). Before Ты start.
Twilight: Иисус christ!
Master Sword: (annoyedly) Okay! Before, you, start!
Twilight: падуб, holly, холли SHIT!
Master Sword: (annoyed) Ты gonna let me explain!?
Twilight: (angry) Yes Sword! I would Любовь to know why Ты shot and killed, FATHER CHRISTMAS!
Master Sword: ... He startled me!
Twilight: (annoyed) HE STARTLED YOU!?
Master Sword: He! Startled me!
Twilight: (sarcastically) Oh, guess he should apologize than!
Master Sword: Well. That'll be kinda hard, cause.. I shot him..
Twilight: Great... So what now.
Master Sword: Well. Looks like I better save Christmas..
Twilight: Ты can't be serious!?
Master Sword: I don't see any other opinion..
Twilight: ... Ты planned this, didn't you!?
Master sword: Whaaaaat!? No!
Twilight: Ты planned this! I know Ты did!
Master Sword: Ты honestly think I wou-
Spike: (comes out, in elf costume) Эй, Sword. The sled is ready, an. (sees twilight). Uh oh..
(long pause).
Master Sword: Ты would not believe how cheap that elf costume was.
Twilight: (starts growling)
Master Sword: (happily) I украл, палантин it.
5:
Saten finally took a train back to Ponyville.
Loud police voice: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering) I'LL SHOOT YOUR LEGS OFF!
Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me.
Saten: Sword? Ты scared th- Oh shit, did Ты steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!
Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of украл, палантин it.. Prove.. I did!
Saten: But dude! Ты can't steal police cars! Ты know how illage that is!?
Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.
Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.
Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?
(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful пушка in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).
Master Sword is still driving the police car, Saten is now in the passinager seat.
Saten: I still can't believe Ты pulled this off dude.. And now your even speeding.
Master Sword: Yeah wel-
Radio: Car 53, we're Ты heading in such a hurry?
Master Sword: zoh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.
Radio: There's a bank robbery!?
Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).
Saten: Dude, we're are Ты going!?
Master Sword: Didn't Ты hear! Theirs a bank robbery!
Saten: What!? No theirs not-
Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-
Master Sword waved a loaded pistol around the bank.
Master Sword: YOUR BEING ROBBED!
6:
Master Sword: Why'd Ты bring me to Cake N' бекон, бэкон for our third date, I HATE this place!
Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!
Derpy: Is it possible we're having two different conversations?
Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!
7:
Saten finds Sword at a control room, somehow allowed to smoke weed. Saten grabs a microphone. ''Sword, whatever Ты don't press the Destruct button!'' Saten shouts.
Transmitted into the booth: Sword (Static) Press (Static) Destruct button!
Saten (stoned): sure thing pretty lady.
Saten: Don't do it! You'll kill everyone!
Transmitted: (Static) Do it! (Static) Kill everyone!
Sword very very slowly reaches his hand/hoof to the button, even lampshading this by saying ''Sure is taking me a long жопа, попка time to reach it.''
Saten begins panicking, where suddenly Glaze walks in with a security guard outfit. ''Saten look I have a new jo-''
Saten immediately grabs the handgun she was licenced to have. ''Hey!'' she shouts.
''Must, kill, best friend!'' Saten cried, firing three shots though the glass, all three hitting Sword in the chest. But he just stands there.
''Damn it man fall backwards'' Saten groaned.
Sword dramatically paces all over the room, landing on his stomach, near the button.
''Phew.'' Saten said.
Sword suddenly flips over to his back, inches from the button.
''Phew.'' Saten said.
Sword's tongue sticks up, pressing the button.
Saten; Aw, Ты STUPID SON OF A-
The town violently explodes in a nuclear explosion,.
8:
Sword goes to turn on the TV but finds static.
Sword: (calmly) Hmm, cables out.. Maybe I'll have a beer, annnnd there's no пиво in here, haha, how lovely.
Derpy: Sword, wow, your taking this very we-
Sword: I'll kill you! I'LL KILL ALL OF YO-
Derpy: Sword!
Sword: Kidding, kidding, maybe I'll check out that axe cellection.. See Ты later (leaves).
9:
Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving Ты people the bird.
Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!
Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.
SATEN: (a character I found became better over time, I don't much like most of his old roles, I find he gets better in Season 4.. Will have to remaster it if I ever Опубликовать them)
1:
Pinkie: Dash made a bet with Spike that she'll make him fall in Любовь with her.
Saten: Annnd. Your taking advantage of your Друзья by going into their personal business by betting money on it.
Pinkie: I... Guess.
Saten: No fair! I was gonna do that!
2:
Saten: Fired!? Why am I fired!?
Boss pony: Cause Ты only been here a week, and Ты keep getting drunk on the samples.
Saten: Okay. Not gonna lie.. I 'might' be an alcoholic.
3:
Saten: Soo.. Ponyville is being invaded by huge vine-like plants? And the princesses have been captured?
Twi: Yes.. Except for me.
Saten: (turns to AppleJack) Hey.. Remember how Ты keep saying "only when hell freezes over".. Well.. I think this qualifies..
AppleJack: What are ya talking abo-
Saten: (thinking it might be some kind of "end of the world" deal, Saten suddenly kisses her on the lips, much to her complete shock).
4:
Discord: So.. Guess they're gone.
Saten; Yeah.. I can do anything I want. (takes out the weed bong again)
Discord: Umm.. I don't think they were stopping Ты from taking that.
Saten: Yeah. But they 'were' stopping me from robbing Ты bu- screw it. Give me your wallet!
Discord: Excuse me!?
Saten: Ты heard me I сказал(-а) (points knife) GIVE ME YOUR WALLET!
Discord: *(nervously hands it over)
Saten: (takes it).. This wallet sucks.. Ты have bad stuff.
5:
Sword: Your cousin single.
Saten: I guess wh- Oh no.. No way. Don't even think about it!
Sword: Just once.. Please.
Saten: No... Ты just end up hurting her.. And I'll end up killing you.. And not simple killings either. I mean like really creative killings. Like in those SAW movies.
Sword: (ends up asking her out anyway)
Saten: She'll never agre- (Derpy agrees)
Derpy: Saten. He's not even as dorky as Ты say he is.
Sword: Wha-
Saten: Well.. I still loved pranking him anyway.
Derpy: (laughs) Ты did?..
Saten: Yes.. I remember I use to put fibreglass shards in his gym shorts. Every time he had to take a pee. He'd come back crying. *Saten and Derpy laugh*
Sword: It wasn't funny. It was painful.. Wasn't so much the fiber. As it was the glass!.. I had to get a urethra transplant.. And those are COSTLY!
Sword: Ты should hear his еще Последнее ones.. (to Saten) Tell her what Ты did a the other day.
Saten: Well.. I mailed a wild hog to house the other day.
Sword: (angrily) THERE'S GIANT PIG WITH HORNS! LIVING IN THE BASEMENT!
Saten: Plus.. The time before that. We were suppose to have a sleepover at his house., I was planning to sneak laxatives into his cereal.. But the sleep over got canceled so I couldn't get him with that one.
Derpy: Ohh... But the idea was still there.
Saten: Oh! Differently (they high five)
Sword: (arrogantly) HE DIDN'T GET ME THOUGH! He didn't get me... DidyougetmeSaten? Didyougetme!?
Satan: No-
Sword: No! Ты did not get me!.. Who didn't get me... Saten Twist.
Saten: Ты know what.. Fuck it.. Fine. Ты guys can go out.. But only once.
Sword: Good enough. *leaves*
Sword: Alright Derpy.. Let's go.
Derpy: Fine.
Sword: Just remember one thing tonight. One thing.. Your cousin did NOT get me with the poop thing..
6:
AJ: (sadly) Ah.. Ah think we need ta break up
Saten: (holding large wine bottle, having finally opened it) What!? Why!?
AJ: It's.. It's just not working out.
Saten: Why!?
AJ: Well.. For one thing. Ya drink WAY ta much
Saten: No I don't! (ends up chugging down the entire bottle of wine in less then five minutes, much to AJ's shock).
7:
Trixie: I'm glad your finally over AppleJack.. Who needs her anyway. She didn't understand you.. Ты need someone who dose understand you.. Someone who Ты knew your entire life..
Saten: Ты mean Derpy?
Trixie: Well.. Sure.. Derpy.. But I meant some else who knew Ты for your entire life. And she always had a thing for you.. Who knows.. She might be sitting wait in front of you.
Saten: (oblivious) I honestly have no idea what your going on about Trixie. But your voice is soothing, and strangely I feel better.. (happily) Thanks, Ты always such a great friend.
Trixie: (sighs) Sure... Friend.
8:
Saten: So, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chillies is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
Trixie: ... I concur, but Ты changed the subject. What are we doing for hearts and hoove's Day?
Saten: ... Oh, Ты caught that, did you?
9:
Saten: Derpy I need to your opinion about something?
Derpy: I was gonna tell Ты the same thing.
If I don't do something about this wrong день mishap, I'm not sure if Cranky Danky will ever forgive me.
Saten: (not listening) Trixie wants me to try being a better boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do.
Derpy: (also not listening) Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Saten: Maybe I should ask AppleJack for advice. She always tried making me a better boyfriend, but I wasn't listening at the time.. Classic me.
Derpy: I offered Danky a refund but it didn't help too much.
Saten: Perhaps I should bring an notepad. Список the things AppleJack will say..
Derpy: Ты know what? I'll probably end up making a Список of ways to fix this.
Saten: I'm glad we talked.
Derpy: I'm always here for Ты cousin.
Saten: Me too.
10:
Saten: I even got her autograph.
Twi: That was a restraining order.
Saten: Yeah.. But she still signed it.. It goes great Далее to my restraining order from Lauren Faust.
11:
Saten: Can Ты get the pepper, please?
Pinkie: I don't know how much longer I can last.. I am gonna explode if I don't tell somebody.
Saten: It'll be fine. Now please pass the pepper!
Pinkie: Hang on. I don't feel like you're taking this dilemma seriously.
Saten: Fine sweetie. Ты have my undivided attention.
Pinkie: Okay, now, the Shining сказал(-а) I still can't tell anyone the surprise.
Saten: (sarcastically) No way!
Pinkie: Yeah, well, it's true. But I am killing myself over here!
Saten: (sarcastically) Well, we wouldn't want that!
Pinkie: No, see? Well, Ты absolutely would not. And furthermore, this is getting harder than ever before!
Saten: (sarcastically) You're kidding!
Pinkie: No, I am not.
Saten: (sarcastically) This is a nightmare. How will Ты ever make a decision?
Sheldon Ты see? I don't know. What should I do?
Saten: (angrily pounding table) PLEASE! PASS! THE PEPPER!
12:
Derpy: I.. I don't know about this Saten.. This place is giving me the creeps.
Saten: Relax, it'll be fine.. (knocks on the door to a old, rusty looking, trailer).
Trevor Phillips: (opens his door) Hello?
Saten: (holds contact) Hi, do Ты mind signing this contact to legalize wee-
Trevor: (suddenly punches Saten square in the nose, knocking him off the steps and onto the ground) I make a SHIT load of money selling that stuff! Last thing I can handle is legalism, NOW FUCK OFF!
Saten: (holding his nose as Derpy helps him up) Ты could of just сказал(-а) no!
Trevor: What's the fun in that?
Saten: Your a dick.
Trevor: WHAT!?.. (pulls out gun) SAY THAT AGAI- (Suddenly there's an explosion from inside the trailer).
Trevor: DAMN IT MICHAEL! I TOLD Ты NOT TO SMOKE IN HERE!
Michael: (off view) Eh, shut up!
Saten: Who's your friend?
Trevor: Why are Ты still here!? FUCK OFF!
Saten: (angrily) Ты fuck off.
Derpy: (nervously grabs leaves) Cousin, the guy has a gun.
Saten: Yeah, well I bet it's not real (gets nearly shot) LEAVING! (he and Derpy run off).
Derpy: Well... That was scary.
Saten: Yeah.. But we still need a lift.. Lets ask her.
Carly Jade: (walking by) Who me?
Saten: Yeah.. Mind giving us a lift to the air port?
Carly: Sure kid, just let me put my lawn trimmings in the trunk.. (puts a suspicious looking body bag into the хобот, ствол of her car).
Derpy: Saten.. I -I think that was a body.
Saten: Yeah, I thought so two, but than she сказал(-а) it was lawn trimmings, gotta learn to listen Derpy.
13:
Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a звезда for the tree. Smiling the whole time.
Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?
Critters: Ohhhh!
Beary: It's the nicest звезда I ever saw.
Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery сказал(-а) with a smile...
Beavery (smiling): How would Ты like to sing and dance with us for a while?
Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...
Stan [doesn't smile] Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. [turns around, and walks off]
14:
Narrator: "I know!" Saten Twist сказал(-а) with a new happy grin, "I'll go back to the forest and speak with those critters again!"
Saten: [waves the narrator away and leaves his desk]
Narrator: He ran out the living room, turned out the light, and went back to the forest to set everything right!
Saten enters the living room, hops on the sofa, and turns on the TV.
TV: In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground, is where I spent most of my days.
Narrrator: (aham) And he went back to the forest to set everything right!
Angry look on his face, Saten turns the volume up to drown out the narrator.
Narrator: He tried to ignore the issue with TV, but his conscience caught up with him, and to the forest he did flee...
Saten: (turns it louder)
Narrator: He thought he could hide from his problems - not true! [Saten rolls his eyes] He knew in his сердце the thing he had to do!
Saten (annoyedly): Leave me alone!
Narrator: He knew that only by going to the forest could he -
Saten: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!.. GOD! [He turns off the TV, hops off the sofa and walks out the door, leaving the remote control on the floor.]
15:
Saten (pacing and mumbling): Stupid Maggie. Non-inventing, recipe-stealing, wanna say bitch, but still friend, maybe.
Starlight: Would Ты calm down. Maybe Ты can take consolation in that something Ты created is making people happy.
Saten (high pitched voice): Ohhh, look at me I'm making people happy! (flapping pegasus wings) I'm a lovely little бабочка flapping my бабочка wings! (skips around) I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, Lalalala! [leaves the room, slamming the door; pokes his head back in] Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. [closes the door again]
Starlight (annoyed): Well, duh.
16:
Pinkie: Master Sword thinks he can fly off of his roof.
BonBon: Yeah. He could die.
Trixie: Probably.
Saten: ... Do it! Do it Sword!
Sword: I'm gonna!
Trixie: I wouldn't if I were you. Those wings don't look very strong.
Saten (gets camera out): Don't listen to 'em, dude! I'm sure it'll work. Go for it!
17:
urns out the only place Saten and Trixie can afford ends up being Stab City from San Andreas, again confirming the GTA universe to exist here, except they are all ponies. Having spent most of the money on one of the trailers alone they barely have enough for a пицца to eat, and basically have to camp as all they could afford was one lone lamp, as outside the Остаться в живых MC are having a party, Carly heard there two, but sounding drunk.
Остаться в живых MC Member knocking on neighbour trailer: Charlotte! Charlotte, I know Ты in there, bitch!
Female Voice: Leave me alone!
Trixie whimpers fearfully, Saten holds her.
Saten: It's okay, it'll be okay. We have light. As long as we have light, we're okay.
Suddenly Johnny Klebitz pokes his head though the window, and wordlessly grabs the lamp.
Johnny: I got еще for the fire! (distant cheers)
Остаться в живых MC Member knocking on neighbour trailer: Open, bitch!
Trixie: Oh, can't we just let Sword live at the house?
Saten: And encourage his freeloading lifestyle?! No way! Look, it's just one month. We'll get used to it.
(the LostMC guy bursts down the door and gunshots are heard):
LostMC Member: Haha, Ты dead bitch!
Poor Trixie quietly sobs.
Saten: (holds her) It's okay. She's dead. She's finally dead. (kisses her forehead) She's dead now.
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The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is told from the perspective of an interesting person by...
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Too Human was a game created by Silicon Knights, a company founded by the amazing Denis Dyack, and by amazing, I mean he’s...
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You must look at this picture for 20 секунды before continuing onto the Далее part of this Фан fiction
Song: link
The following is an STH/AM6663 Фан Fiction
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~Story~
Lollipop Chainsaw is a game that follows the...
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~Story~
Lollipop Chainsaw is a game that follows the...
