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posted by Canada24
Lets review the only movie of the series, that isn't complete shit.
A series starting with the stupidest moment is the акула jumping on the boat.. I mean WHAT!?
And ends with a акула roaring, fucking roaring,
And a man escaping a plane being dragged down by a акула and escapes without a scratch "and nobody asking how". And that Sharks travel thousands of miles for revenge, and turns out the сказал(-а) revenge was poorly planned out, cause Michael literary jumps into the water, and Jaws swims away, even though the entire point of Jaws coming all that way, was the sole purpose of killing Michael.

Anyway, here's my sarcastic review of a famish movie that caused Sharks too be hunted down, and for people too make so many акула movies, Ты wanna take the makers of Jaws and slap them across the face, saying, "YOU CREATED MONSTERS!"

So, let's get this mockery started..
And yes.. I seen this movie before.. Grew up with it еще или less.. Dad showed me it.. And ever sense, I been one traumatized kid..

Anyway, here we go..

During a late-night пляж, пляжный party on Amity Island, a young woman goes skinny dipping (just because). While treading water, she is violently pulled under by a unseen force.
Okay.. All kidding aside.. NOT seeing Bruce the shark, is WAY scarier.. It's why we're all so scared. We can't friggin see it.
It sure screwed ME up.

Anyway, with the murder being all over the news.
The new Police chief, Brody, demands the пляж, пляжный closed.
But the Mayor overrules him because.. Well.. He's a fucking idiot.

So, as expected, another акула related murder takes place. And Brody shuts down the beach.
And the town is mad at him, demanding the пляж, пляжный too be open.
What were Ты all smoking weed while the poor little boy was being murdered?

Than again, that would explain why nobody reacted too it, least till the saw the blood. Not when the kid was screaming two feet away from them.

Anyway, thinking Brody is being paranoid, yeah. Only paranoid.. That's clearly why two people are found dead within the same week.
Local fishermen catch a large tiger shark, the mayor proclaims the beaches safe, because, Ты know, "death = еще money".

Hooper disputes it being the same predator, confirming this after no human remains are found inside it. Hooper and Brody find a half-sunken fisherman's vessel while searching the night waters in Hooper's boat. Underwater, Hooper retrieves a sizable great white shark's tooth embedded in the submerged hull, but drops it after being startled by the fisherman's corpse (an "good" jump scare).

Mayor discounts Brody and Hooper's claims that a huge great white акула is responsible, even though people fucking SAW it kill a kid, and refuses to close the beaches.
How did this guy even become mayor? He's either a sociopath, или the stupidest person alive.

On the Fourth of July weekend, tourists pack the beaches. Following a juvenile prank (dicks), the real акула (Bruce) enters a nearby estuary, leading to my favourite scene.
We briefly see Bruce, as he kills his Далее victim.
That always scared me the most in this movie, never got that vision out of my head.
Though the leg kinda ruined it for me.
But for some unexplained reason, bruce doesn't kill Michael. Just swims bye. Leaving him traumatized.

Skip ahead.
Quint, Brody and Hooper set out on Quint's boat, the Orca, to hunt Bruce.
While Brody lays down a chum line, Quint waits for an opportunity to hook the shark. Without warning, Bruce appears behind the boat, leading too Brody's famish line, and Quint estimates its length at 25 feet (7.6 m). Quint harpoons the акула with a tethered barrel but it drags the barrel underwater and disappears.

At nightfall, as the three swap stories, the Bruce returns unexpectedly, ramming the boat's hull and killing the power. The men work through the night repairing the engine. In the morning, Brody attempts to call the Coast Guard, but Quint smashes the radio, enraging Brody.

After a long chase, Quint harpoons another barrel into the shark. The line is tied to the stern, but the Bruce drags the лодка backwards, swamping the deck and flooding the engine compartment, forcing Quint to sever the line to prevent the transom from being pulled out. He then heads toward shore, intending to lure the акула to shallower waters and suffocate it, but the overtaxed engine quits.

With the Orca slowly sinking, the trio attempt a riskier approach: Hooper dons scuba gear and enters the water in a shark-proof cage, intending to lethally inject the акула with strychnine using a hypodermic spear. The акула demolishes the cage before Hooper can inject it, but he manages to escape to the seabed.
Little known fact. Hooper dies in the actual book.

Anyway, Bruce then attacks the лодка directly, LITERARY jumping the shark, by jumping on the boat, and devouring Quint.

Trapped on the sinking vessel, Brody stuffs a pressurized scuba tank into the Bruce's mouth, and shoots the tank with Quint's rifle, giving the OTHER famish line. before blowing the fucking shit out of Bruce.

With Bruce gone, Hooper resurfaces, and he and Brody paddle to Amity Island clinging to лодка wreckage.

And that's Jaws.. Still holds up.. I really like this one..
#5: SINISTER (2012):
There's a lot of spooky things about this film.
For one thing, th types the protagonist watches, each involves the grousome deaths of innocent family's, and too make things worse, the end reveals the were murdered by their on youngest child, who became possessed by Bagul.
Oh Bagul.. Let's talk about Bagul.
First off. Have Ты see his face!?
If not, look it up on google.
The thing about the real Bagul.
Is once Ты see his face in the 'movie', Ты never STOP seeing his face.
He's kinda like Slenderman, your "fucked" once Ты see his face.
Bagul himself, is the true definition of...
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WALKING DEAD:

Glenn: Remember, noise attracts them, s-
Daryl: (bangs his head and starts swearing at the вверх of his lungs, along with making every noise possible)

Rick: So.. Your telling me. I awoke from a coma, only to end up in the middle of zombie apolocpise!?
Morgan: That's about the size of it.
Rick: WELL FUCK MY LIFE!
Morgan: Hey! No swearing in front of my boy!
Rick: Fuck that! He's just gonna end up dead anyway. And Ты gone crazy.
Morgan: Still.. Don't fuckin swear!
Rick: Fiiiiiine.

Shane: (in Rick's coma) by the way. I'm gonna start a Болталка relationship with your, not even hot, wife.. And...
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So..
I finally found it in English.

It's not as good as I hoped.
But.
Nor was it as bad as I expected.

It's.. In between.

I haven't forgot it's Japennesse.
And. Not trying to be racist.
But Japen has all the weird shit.
Ever seen there commericals?
All Ты have to do is go onto Windwakers club.
He has these fucked up TV commericals.
And I wouldn't be serprised if most of them were Japennesse.

Anyway.

Didn't really have a Избранное character.
Though kinda looking foward to Jan Valentine's episode.
Ever seen his clips.
He's actually pretty funny in the real one.
Too bad the actor, Josh Phillips, was convicted of...
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GOOD:

#1: LEGGO MY MEG-O:
A parody of Taken.
It's really funny..

#2: LOTTERY:
Oddly, the scene of Peter shooting out Joe's eye is the highlight of this episode..

#3: KILLER QUEEN:
Highlight of the episode is the OCP bank robbers that I used in my GTA spoof TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES, when Michael and Packie rob the jewelry store..

#4: FIGHTING IRISH:
Think of every time Ты wanted to перфоратор, удар, пунш Peter wait in the face.
Well in this one Peter thinks he can beat up Liam Neilson. But of coarse, Liam beats the living shit out of him..

#4: ROAD TO GERMANY:
I Любовь that scene when the Nazi's discover Mort is Jew and...
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Ooh, Ты cannot reach me now!

Ooh, no matter how Ты try!

Goodbye, cruel world, it's over!

Walk on by~!

Sitting in a bunker.
Here behind my wall!
Waiting for the worms to come. (warms to come!)

In perfect isolation.
Here behind my wall!
Waiting for the worms to come. (warms to come!)

(MICROPHONE!)
We're waiting to succeed and going to convene
Outside Brixton Town hall where we're going to be
(Waiting!)
to cut out the deadwood!
(Waiting!)
to clean up the city!
(Waiting!)
To follow the worms!
(Waiting!)
To put on a black shirt
(Waiting!)
To weed out the weaklings
(Waiting!)
To smash in their windows and kick in...
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#1: DISTURBED:
If Korn is too hardcore for you. But Ты like that kinda spooky music. Then pick these guys.
But I warn you. Once Ты start, Ты never stop xD


#2: AVENGED SEVENFOLD:
Next to Metallica, this is the band of my childhood (as is Disturbed). The first I heard of heavy metal, and they never get old..


#3: ACDC:
I recently heard a song ROCK или BUST and it's my new favorite.
But either way, I Любовь ALL their songs. Even the crappy ones..


#4: MUSE:
I recently heard a song Stolkholm Symdrome, and now I use it as my work out music.
I'm yet to ever find a BAD song by them..


#5: SCORPIONS:
There's...
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posted by Canada24
Another interesting episode..

Why is that spirit ALWAYS smiling. Is he like the joker?
It's kinda funny.

I never really have much to say about this so.
Nothing to really make fun of.

Except that line
"I am juctice" That's not arrogant at all (I'm using sarcasm of coarse).

Till Далее episode I guess

Can't find Monster.. So just sticking to this one..

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#1: WHOM THE колокол, колокольчик, белл TOLLS:

Make his fight on the hill, in the early day!
Constant chill deep inside!
Shouting gun!
On they run, through the endless grey!
On they fight, for they're right, yes, but who's to say?
For a hill, men would kill, why? They do not know.
Stiffened wounds test their pride!
Men of five, still alive, through the raging glow!
Gone insane from the pain that they surely know!

For whom the колокол, колокольчик, белл tolls!
Time marches on! (on).
For whom the колокол, колокольчик, белл tolls!

Take a look to the sky, just before Ты die.
It's the last time he will!
Blackened roar, massive roar, fills the crumbling sky!
Shattered goal fills...
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posted by Canada24
ALMOST EASY:

OH!

I FEEL INSANE!
Every single time!
I'm asked to compromise!

CAUSE I'M AFRIED!
And stuck in my ways!
And that's the way it sta-a-ays!

So how long did I expect, Любовь to outweigh ignorance!?
By that look on your face, I may have forced the scale to tip!

I'M NOT INSANE!
I'M NOT INSANE!
I'M NOT INSANE!
I'M NOOOOOOTT!!

Not Insane!

(Mother!)
Come back to me, it's almost easy!
(Said it all!)
Come back again, it's almost easy!

SHAME!
Pulses through my heart!
From the things I've done to you!

IT'S HARD TO FACE!
But the fact remains!
That this is nothing ne-e-ew!

I left Ты bound and tied, with suicidal memories!...
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added by Canada24
MASTER SWORD:

Sword: (writing fanfic of Derpy, but then Saten comes in and he switches it too porn, of all things)..

Saten: How do I know Ты won't shoot me in the eye
Sword: (literary aiming a sniper gun at Saten's eye) No, no, I won't shoot Ты in the eye..

Sword: Let's look at the bright sides... Saten not being drunk, bright sides.

Sword: GODDAMN IT, CHIMNEY, SHUT THAT FUCKING REPEATING BROKEN RECORD Ты CALL A MOUTH!

Sword: Whats with the knife!? Please tell me that's going to be used for non-stabbing me purposes!

Sword: Oh, and I should apologize,. I guess when I saw Derpy getting hurt I just...
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posted by Canada24
Okay..

I know I am not nearly the review WindWaker is,
And that my reviews aren't usually lessoned to.

But I am making this huge жопа, попка review anyway..

This story is complete bullshit.
Everything about it dosen't even make sense.

Here's "my verison" of what happens.

Jeff (insert last name here) is a completely normal, unviolent, average boy.
Who is the victim of bullying.

Obviously bullying is bad.
There's no joke about how terrible bullying is.
And that causes people to kill themselves (not even joking).

But sense this is a creepypasta, and most creepypastas don't make fuckin sense to me.
Jeff decides, instead...
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DEATH NOTE:
It looks interesting so maybe the dozens of people asking might get what they want :D


MONSTER:
Yeah.. Again, dozens of requests.. I think I will at some point..


DRAGON BALL Z:
I would. But I have trouble finding it..


HELLSING ORGINAL:
Someday maybe, but most OTHER people say there's not much need. It's not very good..


BLACK LAGOON:
I tried.
It's great. But too many cliche's for me.
And the voices ruin it for me..



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When Ты watch the еще serious films, Freddy Krueger IS something that can be considered actually scary.

First off, dreams are suppose to be a безопасно, сейф place.
And what makes the orginal so scary, is the fact that the dream sequences themselves look and feel so spooky.
Something the remake ALSO fails at.

Freddy dosen't just suddenly appear, like in the remake.
He quietly calls out your name, he makes Ты feel uneasy.
And than when he dose appear in the original, most times we see him like this..



Yeah, he's in the shadows. He's mysterious.
In fact, Freddy can be compared to Steven King's IT.
He...
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#1:
"I am honored to be the first CEO of a private corporation to become a member of the United Nations Security Council. Unfortunately, my appearance today has been clouded by a flurry of speculation that my company is developing a weapon of mass destruction which would be capable of targeting specific ethnic groups. I want to address these allegations head on. Are we developing such a weapon? No we are not. Because we've already developed it. But with all due respect, the United Nations is a relic from a different time when nations were unique in their ability to solve the world's problems....
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#1:
AVGN: Ты know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your Nintendo Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself. (four Angry Video Game Nerds play and curse at the same time)
AVGN 1: Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fucking...
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Nobody has ever made this list.
And now that I'm hooked to him again, I decided to do it myself. Dreamtime says I can make people like bands somehow.. So maybe this will help.

A lot of people don't talk about this guy. Probably cause he is in fact an actual Satanist.
And most of his songs are about black magic and the devil himself.

I do admit that's a bit disturbing for me, as an Christian. But I don't judge people on this stuff..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

#1: EVIL:
It may not be very good. But it introduced ME to him.
So may as well add it as number 1.


#2:...
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added by Dreamtime
Source: deviantart