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posted by Mrs-Grint
 As Ты can see, some of his Niffler genes are actually visible. If you'll look to his stomach...
As you can see, some of his Niffler genes are actually visible. If you'll look to his stomach...
OK, so many Harry Potter/vampire Фаны (like myself) will probably agree that Edward Cullen is not a real vampire. The only similarities that Edward and other Вампиры have is the liking of human blood. I suppose Meyer was trying to be original, and I don't mean to offend anyone who does like the sparklepyres.

Why Edward Cullen is a niffler

Before I state my actual reasons, I should probably tell anyone who doesn't know what a niffler actually is. For this I have my trusty Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them book:

NIFFLER
M.O.M. Classification: XXX [Which means a competent wizard should cope with this beast]
"The Niffler is a British beast. Fluffy, black and long-snouted, this burrowing creature has a predilection for anything glittery. Nifflers are often kept by goblins to burrow deep into the earth for treasure. Though the Niffler is gentle and even affectionate, it can be destructive to belongings and should never be kept in a house. Nifflers live in lairs up to twenty feet below the surface and produce six to eight young in a litter."

Doesn't sound much like Edward Cullen right now, but it's the small things that count. As we all know, Cedric Diggory died and became a vampire. Cedric was a Hufflepuff, "What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" I hear Ты cry, well Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders. Nifflers are excellent at finding treasure. Hence them being attracted to anything "glittery" или sparkly. Even though Edward refers to his sparkles as "the skin of a killer!!!" we all know he loves it really, that's why he doesn't get a tan или buy any makeup to cover it up.

As much as I hate Edward, I SUPPOSE he is sometimes affectionate (he still mentally abuses and stalks her! But that's a different subject) to Bella, he kisses and hugs her. But he's constantly saying how "dangerous" he is. This is another likeness to the British Niffler, they are very affectionate and even cute. But as сказал(-а) in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them they can be very destructive.

So, in conclusion, Edward Cullen must be half-Niffler, since he doesn't really look like one. Maybe the Niffler mated with a Greek siren или something. Lulz.
Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s еще to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do Ты mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call Ты Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would Ты describe your relationship with the man known as...
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I would like to start by quoting Susanna Laitala, who wrote a review of Breaking Dawn for a Finnish newspaper: "... by Stephenie Meyer, who, in my opinion, is a very talented writer." I disagree: I do not think Meyer could write even a decent children's book, with a plot culminating in a giraffe finding his Остаться в живых scarf. She would probably decide that the giraffe is suddenly carnivore who has green stripes instead of brown spots - she has already done so to the beloved villains of literature, vampires. Meyer's Вампиры are in fact 'vegetarian': they drink only animal blood. In addition, they...
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posted by HaleyDewit
1.A lot of trees have been sacrificed for Twishit
2.It's deathly boring
3.Sparkling vampires?Really?
4.Edward is a pedophile and a stalker.To every girl who thinks Edward's the perfect boyfriend: a guy who watches Ты when Ты sleep,is not romantic,but creepy.
5.There are a lot of plotholes
6.Bella has as much personality as the spoon I'm looking at right now.
7.Quotations like 'liquid topaz eyes' (since when are eyes liquid???)and 'it's an optional choice'(Where does Smeyer live,because it's obvious they don't have a dictionary there)
8.Bella is the stereotype of the woman before feminism.She's completely...
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Publishers Weekly-"After her transformation into a vampire, it's almost impossible to identify with her in Breaking Dawn"

Lilah Lohr of the Chicago Tribune-"Bella's character, compared to the Quileute wolves, is less satisfying"

Kirkus Reviews-"Bella's appeal is based on magic rather than character, but her and Edward's portrayal of dangerous Влюбленные hits the spot"
"Bella's personality is flat and obsessive"

Laura Miller of salon.com-"In regards of Edward and Bella, neither of them has much personality to speak of"

Jennifer Reese of Entertainment Weekly-"You may wish she had loftier goals and a mind...
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Ron just wouldn't can it. We were all at the table, while Ron was blabbing about how Professor Snape had gave him detention. For crying out loud, if he just payed attention in class he wouldn't have!
"'Mione, can Ты pass the butter?" he сказал(-а) with mouth full of chicken. I scowled at him and passed him some. "'Mione, Ты don't look so good are Ты ok?" Harry whispered in my ear. I shook my head. After riding a метла and falling off because of stupid Malfoy hadn't done wonders on the headache i already had. "You want to go to the infarmery, im pretty sure the med-witch has." he began but Ron...
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posted by GoodPunchMione
I honestly don't hate, dislike, like или Любовь Twilight. It's just neutral with me. I never really had any problem with it until I saw an Статья saying that Harry Potter copied Twilight. The person who wrote it also went so far as to say that J.K. Rowling is ugly and that Stephenie Meyer is the pretty one. It just irked me, because the looks don't even matter (they're both equal too) and it's not a valid point.

She сказал(-а) something about Sirius Black being copied from Jacob Black - who is commonly described as a big волк in his werewolf form. And Sirius (she spelled it as 'Serious'. I laughed...
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