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posted by Mrs-Grint
 As Ты can see, some of his Niffler genes are actually visible. If you'll look to his stomach...
As you can see, some of his Niffler genes are actually visible. If you'll look to his stomach...
OK, so many Harry Potter/vampire Фаны (like myself) will probably agree that Edward Cullen is not a real vampire. The only similarities that Edward and other Вампиры have is the liking of human blood. I suppose Meyer was trying to be original, and I don't mean to offend anyone who does like the sparklepyres.

Why Edward Cullen is a niffler

Before I state my actual reasons, I should probably tell anyone who doesn't know what a niffler actually is. For this I have my trusty Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them book:

NIFFLER
M.O.M. Classification: XXX [Which means a competent wizard should cope with this beast]
"The Niffler is a British beast. Fluffy, black and long-snouted, this burrowing creature has a predilection for anything glittery. Nifflers are often kept by goblins to burrow deep into the earth for treasure. Though the Niffler is gentle and even affectionate, it can be destructive to belongings and should never be kept in a house. Nifflers live in lairs up to twenty feet below the surface and produce six to eight young in a litter."

Doesn't sound much like Edward Cullen right now, but it's the small things that count. As we all know, Cedric Diggory died and became a vampire. Cedric was a Hufflepuff, "What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" I hear Ты cry, well Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders. Nifflers are excellent at finding treasure. Hence them being attracted to anything "glittery" или sparkly. Even though Edward refers to his sparkles as "the skin of a killer!!!" we all know he loves it really, that's why he doesn't get a tan или buy any makeup to cover it up.

As much as I hate Edward, I SUPPOSE he is sometimes affectionate (he still mentally abuses and stalks her! But that's a different subject) to Bella, he kisses and hugs her. But he's constantly saying how "dangerous" he is. This is another likeness to the British Niffler, they are very affectionate and even cute. But as сказал(-а) in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them they can be very destructive.

So, in conclusion, Edward Cullen must be half-Niffler, since he doesn't really look like one. Maybe the Niffler mated with a Greek siren или something. Lulz.
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(NOTE TO READERS: I'LL BE CRITICISING SEVRUS SNAPE IN THIS ARTICLE. BUT THIS IS A ONCE OFF. OTHERWISE I AM TEAM SNAPE 4EVA =])


We all know Bella over-reacted in New Moon. That's a common aregument. But now some Twilight Фаны say Lily over-reacted when Sevrus called her mud-blood compared to how Hermione took it from Draco. But personally I think Lily didn't over-react.

Sevrus and Lily's friendship was rocky for a while. She despised his Друзья and his ideas for the future. He despised the fact James fancied Lily. They had areguments (Lily says "I've made excuses for Ты long enough" in Deathly...
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Dulce et Decorum Est (1917)
link

Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had Остаться в живых their boots
But limped on, blood-shod.Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had Остаться в живых their boots
But limped on, blood-shod.
Gas! GAS! Quick, boys! — An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just...
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These are a bunch of funny alternate endings to Harry Potter I found. I did NOT write them.

Scooby Doo ending: Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for Ты meddling kids!”

South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over by the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s...
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posted by Ravenclaw2001
Let's just get this straight before Ты go harping on my Статья because I'm a Twitard. Because I'm not. I'm just getting a little sick of Bella лебедь being called "too perfect". She's perfect about to the extent that I am a Twilight fan. Which is to say, not at all.


OK, Let me tell Ты a story about a REAL Mary-Sue.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Анастасия B. Ana was in 6th grade, she was tiny for the age of ten (she skipped kindergarten), she was absolutely adorable, and she was in Gifted and 7th grade math. Boys all loved her, and she could crochet, knit, and she had perfect handwriting....
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