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posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on Facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I Остаться в живых my phone, can Ты call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!

6.don't Ты hate it when you're texting and laying on your back and
your phone decides to be a ninja, slips through your fingers, and attacks your face!

7.Robin капот, худ was a thief, Mario gets high off of Mushrooms, Snow White lived with 7 men,
Sleeping Beauty always slept in, and our parents wonder why WE are bad!

8. In my will, I'm giving $50 to anyone who wears a Grim Reaper costume
to my funeral and doesn't say a word

9."You know you're too drunk to drive when Ты swerve to miss a tree,
and then realize it was just your air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror."

10.Dares Ты to go outside, throw a rock at your car and yell
"like a good neighbor statefarm is there!"

11.My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity
,I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it

12.Pshhhh I did not fall... The floor looked at me funny
so I used my mad ninja skills to attack

13.My new word for the день is FOCUS,
when someone irritates Ты tell them 2 FOCUS (F*** Off Cuz Ur Stupid)

14. Just remember, everything happens for a reason.
So when I хлопать, привкус Ты upside the head, remember... I had a reason!

15.Have Ты ever started laughing for no reason
, then started laughing even harder because Ты were laughing for no reason?
I Любовь those moments.

16.Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas".
The computer told me "ninjas cannot be found"
Well played, ninjas, well played

17.What the voices in my head tell me to do
would get me arrested in all 50 states and 26 countries

18.Stalking is such a strong word
~ I prefer to think of it еще as 'intense research' on one individual
~ By the way, your missing носок is under your bed, with me

19.i think my guardian Энджел is bipolar

20. WARNING: I have officially been left unsupervised.
I take no responsibility for what may happen in the Далее few hours.

21.I didn't trip,
I... I was... uh... just... uh... checking the gravity!
Yeah! Just so Ты know, it's all good, it still works.

22. I dare someone to kidnap me
..as soon as my meds wear off..they'll pay me to leave!

23.i wonder if its bad when I'm talking to myself
and I'm not even listening

24. I'm going out to look for myself,
if Ты see me before i return,
please tell myself to call me so i know where i am.

25.I know what your doing,I'm watching u do this,
if your wondering what your doing i would know,wanna know what your doing?
Ты Чтение my status Ты stalker!

26.This год I'm using big words to sound smart...
Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence.

27.Y'know those signs Ты see in towns that say,
"Drive careful, we Любовь our children".
DUH, you're not gonna see a sign that says, "GUN IT, WE'LL MAKE MORE!"

28. No officer, I did not hit her, I simply Fist Pumped her face!

29. I like throwing Skittles at people and shouting TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
but it's еще fun to throw tacos at people yelling '
THINK OUTSIDE THE BUN!!

30.I Любовь to stand in line at ATM machines,
and when people put in their PIN, I yell GOT IT then run away

31. Like a weird neighbor, stalkers are there!

32.Some people were dropped as a baby
. Ты were clearly thrown at a wall. Then feed a bottle of wacko-o juice!

33.Do Ты ever find yourself really bored so Ты go on Facebook
yet Ты find that there is nothing to do except refresh the page until something new pops up?

34.OK think of a number. Add 12 to the number. Subtract 2. Divide that number by 5. Add 20. Did Ты get 12? Neither did I.
I just wanted to see if Ты would do it!

35. im going to get a job at walmart as a greeter
and my words of welcome will be "Welcome to freaking walmart! Get ur sh*t and get the hell out!!"

36.Brunette:When I grow up, I'LL GO TO MARS.
Blondie:When I grow up I'LL GO TO THE SUN.
Brunette:But Ты will burn!
Blondie:Don't be stupid, I'll go at night

37.If somebody throws skittles at me and yells "TASTE THE RAINBOW",
I'm gonna throw a 2 liter bottle of Dr.Pepper and yell "TRUST ME I'M THE DOCTOR

38.a few days назад I very sternly told the voices in my head to stop talking to me.
Now they are sending me txt mgs say that they r sorry and want to get back2gethr

39.things to do at Walmart: hide behind teddy bears and make evil laughing noises when little kids come by

40.Ever feel like beating someone with a baseball bat to the point of almost unconsciousness, then setting them on fire? No? Just me?

41. I'm not crazy.. don't Ты judge me! Your just jealous cause i get texts from the flying gummy bears and Ты don't!

42.i saw a flying cow yesterday. it was purple and i named him Phillip...i wish the dancing unicorn had seen him but she was too busy laughing at Steve the snake

43. i was sitting there when i got attacked by the purple hedgehogs, neon dragons, and glow-in-the-dark leprechauns that kid-napped the unicorn and клубника king

44.I have decided to stop pretending and just be that ninja with the magical penguins and Динозавры and Единороги that everyone KNOWS I am.

45.Have Ты ever tried walking into Walmart and yelling red robin! and seeing how many people say YUM red robin, red robin, come on just say yum!

46. Things to do at Walmart #365: bring или take a tent, set it up in a camping supplies corner, and camp out for the weekend until they kick Ты out!

47.After watching CSI, Cold case, Law & Order, and all those other educational shows, I'm 99% sure I can make sure nobody notices Ты missing. Just saying...

48.I like to call it doing the world a favor. Homicide is just the technical term

49. i think there's something wrong with my guardian angel.
her wings are black and she's sitting with the devil and laughing hysterically at everything and everyone

50.I got a special care pkg. in the mail. It had duct tape, a meat tenderizer,
a hole перфоратор, удар, пунш and a note saying " don't get caught"! (sigh) I Любовь my friends!

51.I find myself meeting people who give me the honor of thinking up new words... Dipshidiot! (dip-shid-iot)

52.backwards this read Ты making am i why exactly is that, never? Ты to nice been ever I have when since (now read it backwards)

53.What happens in an exam : Tik tok , Mind block , Pen stop , Eye pop , Full shock , Jaw drop , Time up , No Luck

54. O I dare Ты to walk up to any officer and say:
I didnt do it I didnt kill her, the assassination wasnt part of the plan.' Then run fast! I bet they'll chase u

55.I'm bored & in need of some adventure. I say we get drunk, get stupid, get a stick, go poke something with teeth and see if we can outrun it.

56.Why do people always think my Друзья and I are high? WE'RE NOT ON DRUGS! We're just crazy, and loud, and random, and scooby doo (but that's a different story)

57. Smile people will wonder what your up to.But grin like crazy and they will want to know what the hell Ты just did

58.Isn't it funny how everyone thinks they are the normal one in their family?

59.For Sale! One used alarm clock. damn thing rings when I am trying to sleep.

60. im on my way to Walmart to take the "try me" stickers off the noise making toys and stick them on condom boxes.
posted by hetaliaitaly
One день there was a little girl called Emily She had a toy doll the doll seemed so normal but with one exception it was missing a finger one night before Emily went to постель, кровати she sat the doll above the fireplace and went to bed.

Emily was fast asleep but then "Emily im in the lounge room coming to get you" Emily thought she was dreaming so she ignored it but then "Emily im on the staircase coming to get you" Emily hid under the covers,

Everything was quiet but then "Emily im in the hall way coming to get you" Each time the voice spoke it got louder Emily was very scared and then "Emily im at your...
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posted by SymmaGirl2
Coffee can reduce the risk of skin cancer.
Ancient Rome is now a micronation
No matter what your language teacher tells you, short sentences are important in Письмо and are not mistakes или bad.
Sealand now has eight official citizens
Ice cream is Italian food
Fortune печенье are Japanese, not Chinese
Hatsune Miku was NOT the first Vocaloid, Leon and Lola were
Thunder is a natural sonic boom
The speed of sound is 330 miles per second
Infrared light was first used in WWII
Schrödinger's Cat is a physics paradox
Weak force is a billion trillion trillion times stronger than gravity
People are actually obsessed...
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posted by littleangel0520
1)
'It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace only by preparing for war'
- John f. Kennedy
----------------------------------------------------
2)
'Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety - nine percent perspiration'
- Thomas Edison
----------------------------------------------------
3)
'Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools'
- Napolean Bonaparte
----------------------------------------------------
4)
'The child is father of man'
- William Wordsworth
----------------------------------------------------
5)
The government of people, by the people, for the people shall...
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1. When a twilight Фан says 'twilight rocks' say 'rocks made of twilight?'
2. Go up to a twilight fan, scream 'Bella! Bella! BELLA!!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!' when they say 'I know right!' say 'Oh no I meant Bellatrix'
3. Ask them all Вопросы about twilight that Ты can think of. When they ask why say 'I'm doing a book Сообщить on the most boring Книги of the world'
4. Get all the boys and twilight haters (better for them to be Harry Potter fans) to start saying 'Edward, Edwardo, Eddibear, sparkle sparkle'
5. Say that Ты hate Stephanie Meyer, she's a horrible Автор and her Книги make want to poke...
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posted by energizerbunny
5. Avril Lavigne

Not a Фан but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.

4. Sophia Bush

She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.

3. Kaya Scodelario

Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!

2. Katie Cassidy

This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.

1. Megan Fox

Not a Фан but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!


Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
1.eat like 10 candys или something
2.chew lots of sugar gum
3.eat a bowl of sugar
4.listen to a song that makes u crazy
5.eat some ice cream
6.think of something crazy u want to do
7.just do nothing then if u cant take it it well make u crazy
8.go outside then do a game of base ball или swiming water and when u lose makes u go crazy
9.if ur mom tells u what to do and u dont want to do it it well make u go crazy
and finally
10.listen to a jb song then it well make u go crazy cuz u kinda hate him
LOL!
"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, сказал(-а) as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry Музыка videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford мустанг Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time Избранное fast Еда restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out или dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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posted by ilovetowrite
How do Ты find motivation to exercise when Ты just don’t feel like getting off your butt? I ask myself this Вопрос every now and then, and I have the feeling I’m not the only one.

A few weeks ago, I wrote 4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit… and the fourth and final step was to add motivation as needed until the habit sticks. This post is to help Ты with that fourth step.

There are a million ways to motivate yourself to exercise, actually, but these are a few that have worked for me. And trust me, I’ve had days when I’ve struggled with exercise. Most recently, the things...
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posted by jbiebs4evajb17
1... ask Ur teacher if u can sharpen your pen(and Показать your pen to them)
2... when taking attendance say here for every one.
3... when taking attendance.. tell the teacher that they сказал(-а) your name wrong and say ur name different every time.
4.. raise your hand to ask a Вопрос and say some thing Болталка like.. i like cheese... или carrots are pink... или say something obvious,,etc,,
5... raise your hand when the teacher calls Ur name say what then they say u had Ur hand up and u say no i didn't..
6... ask your teacher if u can have a bath room pass when they give it to u say never mind im all better...
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posted by katetekiku
1.Buy a kids meal, and play with the toy Ты get on the middle of the floor.

2.Fill a носок with pennies, and then demand all of the Еда using the money in the sock.

3.Run through the waiting lines.

4.Buy a burger and give it to the waiter/waitress.

5.Go up to the counter, and before the waiter/waitress can say anything, say "Welcome to McDonalds. How can I take your order?"

6.Give a burnt french fry to a Болталка person across the room.

7.Buy something off the menu, like tacos или baked beans.

8.Go to McDonalds in your bathing suit.

9.Chew as loud as Ты can so everyone can hear.

10.Run inside and sing Mary Had A Little ягненок, баранина at the вверх of your lungs.

11.Eat another person's Еда when they aren't looking.

12.Have a loud conversation with your friend about Болталка things, maybe even a fight (no punches though!)!

13.Rap your meal at the counter.
posted by -Wednesday-
u wudnt know if there was хлеб on yer head now wud u if u ask why u wudnt know if there is хлеб on yer head its cuz it is floating above yer head and u cant see it if the хлеб is on yer head which u wudnt know at less i told u and if u wud like to get it off dont try to get it off and или eat the хлеб that is on yer head cuz if u do u will die and to get the хлеб off of yer head u must go to the bottom of a pool and ask the master of crayons to remove the хлеб that is on yer head so u can on living without хлеб on yer head.....if u servived under water that long which i rly doubt u did so wen u die the хлеб that was once above yer head with haunt yer grave and float above yer grave like the magic floating хлеб it is so if i tell u that there is хлеб on yer head i suggest not to do anything cuz it ont even bother u at less u try to remove it yerself only the master of crayons can so just dont do anything and go on living life with a loaf of хлеб on yer head
One day, I was walking on the sidewalk on Walden Lane. It was 5:00 in the morning in Lakeland, Florida, and the sun was just coming up. I was whistling "Celebrate Good Times" while dancing a jig. All of a sudden, A guy zoomed down the sidewalk on his bike with his arm out, and smacked me in the face. I fell to the ground from the impact, my face throbbing.
"Watch where your going, jerk!" I yelled, clambering up and waving my fist at him. He turned, laughing at me, but then he peddled into the road and a semi truck zoomed past, almost hitting the guy. I gasped, thinking that he had been hit....
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 The кабина
The Cabin
кабина for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Eleven: James
    
    “She’s what?” Tori screamed, in horror. Dr. Haffer looked at her again, “She’s about 2 months pregnant.” Tori gagged. I was horrified. I looked at my hands. “She’s pregnant?” I asked. Tori was in tears again. “No, this can’t be. We…” I thought back to 2 months ago. It was that party Damian had thrown. Chelsea and I had been in love. I sighed. It was no use. She was pregnant. I bit my lip and walked out the door. I couldn’t deal with this. I would go back to the house,...
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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a дерево and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Ты are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Ты may call her by this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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hi, i'm kairi. i felt bored and just decided to give up my acquired knowledge for those of Ты who need a little help with being еще Популярное on fanpop/ are bored and just feel like Чтение something.

1. consider something someone might want to take part in. some of the most Популярное Ответы have to do with games или something of the sort. this is because they sound interesting to a fan, so they'll click it.

2. ask the Фаны about themself. people like talking about themselves and sharing interesting stories, it's human nature.

3. think about what you're asking. think about the subject's popularity....
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EF PEPLE CONTNUU 2 WRIT LYK DIS I WILL ART FLIPIN OUT!
Translation: If people continue to write like this I will start flipping out!

....Now there's two points alone in that sentence and those points were horrible spelling and the constant abuse of the Трофеи lock. Most people continue doing these two things to get on everyone's nerves. I can understand that some people Письмо this way if he/she had dyslexia или someone learning to speak English and hasn't quite grasped it yet или if you're texting someone on your phone(that can be a real pain), but there's absolutely no excuse for the rest of us...
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1. Always have kindness with you. If Ты have no kindness, then you're no better than anyone else.

2. Always listen to what your Друзья have to explain. If they have a proublem and need to explain it to you, stop what you're doing and listen to them carefully.

3. Be respectfull. Using respect will let the person know who Ты are или what they think Ты are.

4. Never curse at your friends. It will lead to arguments, breakouts, and maybe even sleepless nights или bad days.

5. Always lend a hand. If you're Друзья are having a prouble, feel free to lend a hand for them. But remeber to ask them if...
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posted by spunkyonyx
Agapanthus africanus
Family: Amaryllidaceae
Common names: ~Lily of the Nile~ ~Blue African Lily ~ ~African Lily~

Agapanthus originates from South Africa. The scientific name refers to the Greek word ~agape~ for ~love~ and ~anthos~ for ~ flower.~

The lily-like florets clustered on a long, thick leafless stem are available year-round in purple and white.
Agapanthus is sensitive to the presence of ethylene gas. This цветок should be kept away from naturally occurring gas, i.e. ripening fruit.

Agave americana L.
Family: Agavaceae
Common Names: ~Century Plant ~ ~West Indian Daggerlog ~ ~Rattlesnake-master~...
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posted by invadercalliope
I HOPE Ты ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!


Ты can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!