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It was Wednesday afternoon,momma was trying on her dress when I got home
Jenna:(Turns around)What do Ты think?Too much?
Skeeter:Too much of everything?
Jenna:(Looks in mirror)Good lord!!You're right!
Skeeter:Mom...mom...
Jenna:Don't this just look beautiful?
Skeeter:Yeah,it looks divine.Now mom
Jenna:It's beautiful!Don't Ты think-
Skeeter:MOM!!CAN I TELL Ты SOMETHING?
Jenna:Why 'course!
Skeeter:I gotta job today!I'm gonna be a author!
Jenna:Skeeter!!!You know how I feel 'bout those authors!
Skeeter:MOM!I want to do this!!This is what I need to do!I'm ready to do this!!!
Jenna:Really?Then what is it 'bout?
Skeeter:Maids!Maid's Point of view!Just so people stop yelling at them!!!!Okay??(Stomps out)
Jenna:SKEETER!!SKEETER JOHNSON!!
Skeeter:Stop mom!I know when I am grown up!So will Ты stop with all this stupid dresses!And just...Um...er...STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran outta that house like it was a пересекать, крест country race!I ran to Maybelle's house 'cause her party was still going on

Elie:Maybelle,Is a Godless woman!
Faith:If only I could tell her that!
Maybelle:FAITH!GET ME A COKE-LA-COLA!
Faith:Yes Ma'am.
Elie:You just gonna let that gutless woman boss Ты around?
Faith:I have to!
Elie:No Ты don't!I'm sick o' this Da** job!I want to leave!But Since I can't,I try to make sure she don't boss me!Now Ты get that drink,but make it like she was Your mother!
Faith:Yes Ma'am!

Maybelle:Hurry up will that stupid drink FAITH!!!
Faith:Here!
Maybelle:It's about time Ты worthless maid!
Skeeter:MAYBELLE!You have no reason to yell at that nice young lady!!
Maybelle:Oh yes I do!She is black!
Skeeter:THAT'S IT!YOU PUSHED IT FAR ENOUGH!I will not let Ты yell at her!!Now SHUT THE HE** UP!!!!!
Maybelle:You don't talk to me like that!!I am in charge!!!
Skeeter:You may be in charge but I know when I should stand up to you!
Maybelle:Get Ты as* down Ты piece of sh**!!!




LATER THAT SAME DAY:
Faith:Oh,Ms Skeeter!I just wanted to thank Ты for sticking up for me!If there is anything in the world I can do for you!I would!
Skeeter:Anything?
posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes Ты so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told Ты to be yourself simply couldn’t have дана Ты worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t Ты have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let Ты mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are Ты always this stupid или are Ты making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like Ты before – but I had to pay an admission.

If Ты took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d Любовь to help Ты out…now, which way did Ты come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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added by 27-5
added by McDreamyluva
1. Do Ты like pie?

2. Are you, или have Ты ever been a squirrel?

3. Are Ты afraid of Pancakes?

4. Are Ты a people person или a person people?

5. How many months are in a watermelon?

6. Have Ты ever wondered what it would be like if Ты were an apple?

7. Have Ты ever wanted to know if your best friend was a Nazi, too?

8. Can Ты get me a soda?

9. Why is water so dry?

10. Have Ты ever wanted to be and Illegal Alien from Outer Mexico? (No offense to Mexicans)

11. Are people actually rabid horses?

12. Have Ты ever eaten the ear of a snake?

13. Do Ты have a sword handy?

14. Do Ты like pie?

15. Am I weird...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary Друзья that Ты talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the духовой шкаф, печь on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake Любовь notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near Ты falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the вверх of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already....
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are Ты listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do Ты like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks Ты to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks Ты to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your Главная alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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added by Avatarzan
Source: giant skeletons
posted by My8thUsername
A/N: I Любовь copy-and-pastes. Here's a enormungantic Список I did. 'Cause I felt like it. Oh, and they're not in any order. I just wanted to know how many I have. By the way, just because I copied them here doesn't necessarily mean they apply to me. I just thought they were cute/funny/awesome. After all, this isn't my profile...

1.98 percent of teenagers do или has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. A/N: Never ever. And proud.

2.Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when Ты don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
Hi! :)
Here are the вверх ten to impress the guy Ты like, just out of my personal oppinion, only try what Ты want to try, my sources are personal expirence as a woman:
10. Respect the men, example: no its not just a game, its football/soccer and its еще important than breathing to most guys. ;)
9. ....but don't be too suck up-like.
one of my Друзья heard her crush loved chickens according to the guy, so she was thrilled when she got invited to his "Amazing" party, I was really happy for her and asked her wheather she'll like to borrow a fiver to buy acessorie for the party, but she сказал(-а) thanks...
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posted by Milorox18
Well here are a few reasons that girls like guys



1. The way they always wear their Избранное cologne (which happens to be the one that Ты bought them for their birthday)


2. The way they run their hands through your hair


3. The way that they look at Ты and Ты want to die right then and there


4. The way that they casually put their arms around you


5. The way that they Kiss away your tears


6. ...and the way that they then get mad at how they can't make your problem go away


7. The way they Показать off around their friends, even though Ты both know that Ты would Любовь them even...
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posted by fencingrocks
No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If Ты want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your воротник and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When Ты get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when Ты reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a шпатель and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....
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posted by greenday82
This is TOTALLY random...but here's the Список from the "Funny Words" group on Facebook. Feel free to add your own


Hullabaloo
Sponge
Idiopathic
Bobbin
Bamboo
Poppycock
Persnickety
Irked
Queer
Flabbergasted
Frippery
Befuddlement
Haberdashery
Diphthong
Britches
Scrumptious
Sassafras
Gadabouts
Bazooka
Cockamamie
Egad
Frumpy
Claptrap
Pooch
Sack
Sag
Baffled
Bubbles
Noodles
Flagellum
Blimp
Napkin
Jiggle
Discombobulate
Fallopian
Pants
Follicle
Box
Bladder
Spoon
Centipede
Indubitably
Banana
Igloo
Waddle
Wobble
Sludge
Briefs
Trump
Gristle
Sprout
Turnip
Gash
Sandals
Crunch
Turd
Gauze
Goon
Manhole
Cockamamie
Noddle
Pudding
Strudel
Rubbish
Duty
Guava
Smashing
Hunky
Inevitable...
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added by 27-5
added by 27-5
This is a very nice video made by julesreverie on Youtube. It tells of 7 [Actual] very gruesome deaths at Disneyland. The last death.. Make sure Ты have your sound turned down =) или you're in for a fright.
video
link

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