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Hello I'm NOT the nostalgia critic, I remembered it so Ты don't have to. I've been watching NC's biggest dumba** in distress video and I thought I'd do one. Except for me it's only going to be characters that are animated and it's not only going to be female characters, there are some male characters here too. With other characters I can find at least some aspect of heroics in them except for these characters. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and I don't hate all of these characters. Please comments, enjoy.

10.Esmeralda(The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

I promise I'm not being biased about this, I honestly think she's a huge damsel in distress and at least hear me out. She's a gypsy who believes in equality and is supposedly a strong fight. But apparently for someone whose suppose to be all those things she really gets captured a lot. I mean first of all she gets captured by the guards and saved by a goat. Seriously? A goat is еще useful than she is! She can't even save herself in a church when all she has to do is claim sanctuary but apparently Pheobus has to do it for her. Quasimodo helps her escape twice. Shouldn't someone who's made a living on hiding be able to escape herself? She's in distress through the whole movie because Frollo is after her. She doesn't even have to do anything during the Court of Miracles and she still gets captured. Plus we have the climax where Quasimodo has to save her from burning to death and getting killed by Frollo. So far she's been saved by Quasimodo, Pheobus, the preacher, the gypsies, Болталка towns folk that we don't even know, and a goat. A STINKIN GOAT! Kayley was supposedly saved by a chicken(he didn't save her he just helped cut her free, she saved herself) and she's one of the most bada** heroic heroines in existence. Besides Kayley did get captured sometimes, but not a lot like Esmeralda, besides she was just starting out. While Esmeralda had years of practice and got captured A LOT! I mean you'd think Esmeralda would be absolutely heroic but the only time she saves anyone was when she saved Pheobus and even then all she does is throw a rock at a horse's butt, any moron could do that. But she she's basically my Jubilee(NC had her on his) because she's someone who's part of a team and not just a team it's a team of rebels. Kids Любовь a team of rebels and especially since a lot of them seem to believe in equality like she does. They're kind of like the Дисней gypsy version of X-Men I guess. The reason she's not higher is because of that one scene during the festival of fools where she's cleverly avoiding the guards.

9.Lucky(101 Dalmatians)

I can't stand this little pup and how much of a damsel he is, is part of it. I mean how many times does this guy actually get in trouble. Even when he was born he was in danger but that wasn't really his fault. But I mean this kid never even payed attention to when they were trying to escape and just watches TV. Yeah why save your life when Ты can watch TV? Sure you'll be dead but oh well Ты can watch TV. His name maybe Lucky but he's a jinx, he causes trouble for everyone and almost gets everyone killed. I mean I'd probably just leave him because he's just going to end up getting himself and everyone else killed. It's like this kid can't even take a walk without getting into trouble. In the TV series he gets into trouble a lot too and it's all caused by him and his stupidity. He's as heroic as a piece of paper. I mean the other Щенки got captured too but they didn't get into trouble like he did, actually none of them did, Patch even saved them in the sequel. But Lucky man this annoying little brat isn't even worth it and that's coming from an animal lover. He's not higher because he doesn't have as much big damsel moments as the others.

8.Wendy(Peter Pan)

Yeah Ты all know that Ты can't have a damsel in distress Список without her in it. She's one of the most iconic damsel's in distress there is. She starts off getting into distress when she's attacked by the Остаться в живых boys, thanks to Tinkerbell, and it looks so cheesy. I mean why doesn't she just continue to fly? I don't think avoiding items getting thrown at Ты would take away any pixie dust. So that was the first time she was in distress. The Далее time was that she was attacked by the Русалки and she actually almost died. She's not higher because in that scene she does stand up for herself but not enough for me to actually think she has any heroic in her. She's captured by Hook and his crew and forced to walk the plank. She doesn't even try to fight for her life или the lives of her brothers или friends. She just says don't sign and die. You'd think she'd try to fight to save her brothers but no she just walks the plank without a fight. She even lets her five год old brother fight the pirates and she doesn't do a thing. I mean talk about a gutless and spineless character who can't do anything. She's not higher because of the thing with the Русалки I mentioned from before.

7.Princess Pea(The Tale of Despereaux)

This girl is so weak and pathetic that she makes Princess персик look like Mulan. First of all the reason she gets captured was caused by her being rude and stupid. From the way it looks it really didn't take much of an effort to capture her. It was like picking up a pencil. Then she was tied to the ground by a bunch of rats. Seriously? She was over powered by a bunch of rats! She can't even break free, the ropes were tied by a bunch of rats, they shouldn't be tied too good. Finally she's saved by a мышь and a rat. Seriously? I mean come on that's even worse than being saved by a goat. This is just pathetic, simply pathetic. It's a good thing she's pretty, but she's not even that pretty. The only reason she's not higher is simply because of others being bigger damsel's.

6.Chuckie(Rugrats)

Oh my gosh I absolutely hate this annoying whiny little brat, his damselness is part of it. He's always getting into trouble without any effort. Tommy is constantly having to save him and if not him than Kimi. This kid just needs to take one step and he needs saving. Every time the rugrats have an adventure he's getting into some kind of trouble where he had to be saved. Part of it is caused by him being whiny and a coward. I mean he makes Shaggy and Scooby look like Супермен and Batman. He's been saved by pretty much all of the rugrats; Tommy, Kimi, Phil, Lil, Susie, and even Angelica and Dil. Angelica is the antagonist of the Показать and she actually saved him, that's pathetic. What's ven еще pathetic is that Dil, a baby that's not even a год old, actually saved him. He even got saved by Spike, a dog. He just cries and screams for someone to help him instead of doing it himself. I know he's just a toddler but Tommy can do it so he can too. I mean if he was a superhero his superpower would be crying. The reason he's not in the вверх 5 is because the others have been in worse situations than him.

5.Naveen(The Princess and The Frog)

I promise I'm not just putting him here because I loath him, he's really a huge damsel in distress. He's been in distress еще than any of the Дисней princesses. He was in trouble when he got involved with Dr. Facilier, he was put in a jar, he gets attacked by a frog eating bird, he needs saving from the alligators, he gets captured by frog hunters, he gets out thanks to луч, рэй and tries to save Tiana but ends up needing her to save him again, he's captured by the shadows, then captured by the shadows again, it put in a box, and captured by Lawrence. So all together he's been in distress ten times. TEN TIMES? GEEZ not even any of the Дисней princesses were in distress that many times. So he's constantly getting saved by a girl(not bad), an old blind lady, and a огонь fly. That's even worse than being saved by a mouse. The reason he's not higher is because the others are just bigger damsel's in distress.

4.Mary Jane(Spiderman) and Lois Lane(Superman)

Every single one of us know Ты can't have a Список about damsel's in distress without these two here. It's hard to decide which one of these two is еще of a damsel in distress so I just gave them both the spot. Though I have to say I actually really like both of them because they maybe damsel's in distress but unlike the others on this Список they're actually enjoyable characters. Anyway we all know their reason for existence, to be the Любовь interest and person who constantly has to be saved by the main character. I mean it seems that these two should be getting paid for getting into distress. If they had a penny for every time they've been in distress they'd be some of the richest people in the world. In the Супермен Показать they've even made fun of how much Lois has been in distress and even сказал(-а) to Супермен "I hate to say it, I've kind of gotten use to it". Neither one of them is very useful and you'd think they'd learn a thing или two after being in distress so many times. What is this, just a trip to the spa for them? They're not higher because as times they were useful, еще so Lois.

3.Ron Stoppable(Kim Possible)

Here's a character I don't hate или dislike, I'm neutral about him. Ironic how he's here when Kim Possible is the most bada** heroic character in existence. This guy is so incompetent that he constantly loses his pants. He's usually the distraction and is always getting into distress. I think Kim might need to get a new sidekick that doesn't get into distress so much. I mean all he has to do is Переместить and he's getting captured. If Kim is ever in trouble than she can save herself with like once или twice where Rufus has to save her. Ron can't save her because every time he tries he ends up getting captured too and Rufus has to save them. So maybe Kim should огонь Ron and keep Rufus. I mean a naked моль крыса is actually еще useful than him. He never saves the день and is as useful as a лимон with a paper-cut. He's basically Robin with Batman. Бэтмен should probably огонь Robin and keep Batgirl. He's not higher because the other two are just pathetic.

2.Giselle(Enchanted)

This chick is so annoying and part of the reason is her being such a damsel. I mean first she's in danger from the giant troll, falling from the tree, falling into the wishing-well, falling from a billboard, and eating the poison apple. She's so weak that even a stinkin бурундук is еще heroic and useful than her. She's even such a damsel that she can't even walk without falling and needing someone to help her. She's even aware that she's a damsel in distress "Well usually someone's there to catch me". What is this just part of your daily rue-teen? Sure she tried to help save Robert but she doesn't really do anything, it's Pip who save the день and in such a stupid way. She's absolutely useless and is definitely the biggest Дисней damsel in distress in existence. She's not higher because number 1 is on the same level of being a dumba** damsel in distress as Bella Swan.

1.Princess Irene(The Princess and The Goblin)

This has got to be the weakest character in existence, this girl makes all the other characters on this Список look like Kim Possible. I mean it doesn't really take much to capture this girl, all Ты have to do is use your pinky to grab her and that's all it takes. First of all she's in distress in the first few минуты of the movie and is saved by a boy who was singing. That's right, all Ты have to do to defeat the goblins is sing, that and step on their feet. She's captured during the climax of the battle and what makes me mad is that she knows that Ты just have to sing and it'll defeat the goblins and she could've easily saved herself. But does she? NO! She just screams like an idiot. She also needs to be saved once again when she's drowning. She gets a chance to save her Любовь interest from the Goblin Prince and she ends up messing it up by tripping and needing to be saved again. This girl is absolutely pathetic, she's even еще of a dumba** damsel in distress than Bella Swan, who actually jumped off a cliff for goodness sake. I mean I'm surprised she and her Любовь interest didn't end up dying because this girl keeps on almost getting them killed. If she even moves slightly she'll be in distress. There's absolutely no competition! It's a good thing she(and all the other girls on this list) is pretty because she's really useless.
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posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the медведь that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They сказал(-а) it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the изюм for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until Ты give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think Ты could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

Ты sing to me
Too bad Ты couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't Ты stick to acting?

Here Ты go again...
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posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what Ты had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in Любовь with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell Ты by the Greyhound
She can Показать Ты how to stay down
I can tell Ты 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my сука watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get Ты buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
BEAT


It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make Ты bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, Ты do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...
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Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can Ты feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing Ты so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A день without Ты is like a год without rain
I need Ты by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A день without Ты is like a год without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't Ты hear me calling?
My сердце is yearning
Like...
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posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All день all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I Любовь it, hate the way I Любовь you
All день all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to Показать I Любовь you, I got no regrets.
I Любовь Ты much to, much to hide you, this Любовь ain’t finished yet. This Любовь ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten минуты the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire год and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...
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June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the секунда Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...
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Just a few things before the story; one, if there's something Ты don't like about it, please tell me! I want it to be as good as it can be. ^-^ Just please tell me in a respectful way, please. I would appreciate that. Thank you.
Also, this story will be a little (well, еще than a little) bloody and violent, and there may be some cussing later on. Just a warning.
That being said, I hope Ты like it!
_____________________________________________

Gnarled branches. Green leaves grew from them—green leaves spotted with yellows and reds. They rustled dryly, talking of the upcoming season of autumn....
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(Jade’s POV)

“John…I’m bored” I whined to my friend in the other room. “Well i’m sorry Jade, but i don’t know what do do about that” John сказал(-а) walking in with a bowl of попкорн he popped himself. “What about Rose and Dave?” I asked sneaking some попкорн away from the bowl. “What about them?” Dave asked sitting the bowl on the coffee таблица in the middle of the room. “Can we invite them over? And can Ты change out of the girl’s uniform?” I asked. He cheeks grew pink, “It’s comfortable.” “Oh John, Ты little boy” I сказал(-а) ruffling his hair up. “Fine Jade,...
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posted by Bluekait
There are some things about Justin Bieber, this "role model" for kids, that Ты may not know. Sorry to any of the Beliebers out there.

He's attacked and screamed obscenities at photographers. [1] He says rape happens for a reason. [2] He wrote in the guest book at Anne Frank's house that he "wishes she was a Belieber." [3] When he was asked to try being vegan, he spit out the vegan стейк that was specially prepared for him and made gagging sounds. [4] He peed in a restaurant kitchen. [5] He's frequently late to his own concerts. [6] He's been kicked out and banned from places for throwing temper...
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