1. At the movies: When Ты meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are Ты doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t Ты try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When Ты ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets Ты after years…
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:-
Well Ты haven’t particularly s hr unk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and Ты ask…
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout….it’s just the money.
7. When Ты get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were Ты sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry или not. Ты thought I was sleeping…. Ты dumb witted moron.
8. When Ты see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:-
Эй, have Ты had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. …
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.
10.. Ты are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so Ты smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it’s a miracle …….it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are Ты doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t Ты try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When Ты ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets Ты after years…
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:-
Well Ты haven’t particularly s hr unk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and Ты ask…
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout….it’s just the money.
7. When Ты get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were Ты sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry или not. Ты thought I was sleeping…. Ты dumb witted moron.
8. When Ты see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:-
Эй, have Ты had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. …
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.
10.. Ты are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so Ты smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it’s a miracle …….it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!
1. You're beautiful.- girls think when Ты say 'hot' your looking at our body, not our personality.
2. Ты look perfect.- gurls like it when men think we're perfect.
3. I wish I could see u everyday.-it makes us gurls think we're loved and Ты never get tired of being with us.
4. I Любовь Ты and only you.-Well, Ты guys get the picture.
5. I will be with Ты forever.
6. Ты have no flaws.
7. You'll always be in my picture, even if ur not there.
8. Ты shine brighter than the sun.
9. There is no reason for Ты to be ashamed of your body, you're very pretty.
2. Ты look perfect.- gurls like it when men think we're perfect.
3. I wish I could see u everyday.-it makes us gurls think we're loved and Ты never get tired of being with us.
4. I Любовь Ты and only you.-Well, Ты guys get the picture.
5. I will be with Ты forever.
6. Ты have no flaws.
7. You'll always be in my picture, even if ur not there.
8. Ты shine brighter than the sun.
9. There is no reason for Ты to be ashamed of your body, you're very pretty.
7 Things to do when Ты want to get kicked out of the DMV. By Misery.
Pretend to be looking at a magazine, and start poking the guy Далее to you.
Tap your foot to the tune of 'Gramma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer.'
Burst out into song. Sing 'Umbrella' until one of the people Далее to Ты look at Ты funny. Get up,take their hands, and start spinning the person around the waiting room.
Start saying your number softly for 6 times, then louder for 5 times, and then yell it out 9 times into the person on your right's ear.
Start speaking your own tounge. Make up a language and find an old lady. Sit down Далее to her, and start speaking your made up languge using frightening gestures.
Start quoting your Избранное Показать the security guard.
Take out your iPod, and start belting out the first song that plays. Jump onto the table, and do a big Показать number. When the last word plays, do jazz hands and RUN out of the DMV.
Pretend to be looking at a magazine, and start poking the guy Далее to you.
Tap your foot to the tune of 'Gramma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer.'
Burst out into song. Sing 'Umbrella' until one of the people Далее to Ты look at Ты funny. Get up,take their hands, and start spinning the person around the waiting room.
Start saying your number softly for 6 times, then louder for 5 times, and then yell it out 9 times into the person on your right's ear.
Start speaking your own tounge. Make up a language and find an old lady. Sit down Далее to her, and start speaking your made up languge using frightening gestures.
Start quoting your Избранное Показать the security guard.
Take out your iPod, and start belting out the first song that plays. Jump onto the table, and do a big Показать number. When the last word plays, do jazz hands and RUN out of the DMV.