Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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Source: wicked_visions @ LJ
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*I'm sorry if I offended anyone on this spot, I just did this to be funny, not mean..same with my Twilight fangirl article*

1) If Ты know a girl who despises Twilight and is crazy about hating it, send them a box with a poster of Edward with the words "My Dream Guy" on the poster
2) Tell a Twilight hater that Ron Weasley is Emmett's b***h
3) Tell them that REAL men sparkle
4) When a group of Twilight haters are surrounding you, stand in the middle of the group and shout out "I'M A CULLEN, EVERYONE!" then sing "I am a vampire" by Antsy Pantsy
link
5) Write a letter to President Obama convincing him...
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 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18~ New Testament of the Bible)
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18~ New Testament of the Bible)
I felt like Письмо this Статья after Чтение a fellow ex-CAT member's Статья on Twilight haters. I also had a 'talk' with another ex-CAT member.

"4) Twi-haters, this isn’t a hater или anti spot. Don’t abuse it. Do not make personal attacks against Stephenie Meyer или her fans, and don’t throw nasty или immature insults at Twilight. This is supposed to be “Critical Analysis of Twilight”, not “Mindless Bashing of Twilight”."
~Dearheart link

"And Twi-haters – it’s okay to poke Twilight and be deliciously witty and sarcastic...but don’t get nasty. There is a fine line between...
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In my opinion Bella cannot do anything but whinge I have got here a direct quote from SM's Eclipse,
"Whenever I talked about jacob, His tawny eyes seemed to get a little bit darker my voice turned pleading in response."
Translation: Pleading = whiny
When Edward Leaves in new moon she goes into a "deep depression" I.e is so hung up on Edward that when he leaves she practically goes insane, and yet she still does not place the blame firmly where it belongs at Jasper Hales gaddamned door and he was all like Эй, are we cool? I would have been like No way get away from me Ты freak Ты tried to kill...
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posted by renrae
We have a discussion on the Форумы here about noteworthy things in twilight. I picked Angela, and now I realize that Jessica is noteworthy, too.


We'll start with Jessica!Hate. Besides Lauren, Jessica is probably the most hated human friend that Bella has. Reasons Twilighters give for this are 'Jessica is a brat', 'she ignores her in book two', 'she's too hyper', and 'i just don't like her'. Some of those are just ridiculous. 'Jessica is a brat'. How? How is Jessica a brat? Answer: She isn't. 'she ignores bella in book two' I'll elaborate on this one later, because it's pretty big. 'shes...
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added by Kaidi
Source: somewhere from Google images.
added by Mallory23
Source: http://blackdahlia.deviantart.com/art/It-s-Twilight-Time-91626320
added by laureng114
Source: Photobucket.com
added by McDreamyluva
If Ты have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into Статья Форум thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.

~~~~

One день Bella fell over while being chased by Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and сказал(-а) - "Edward, what are Ты doing? Ты know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"

"Yes, but don't tell Bella...
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posted by kayleebabee
Is it just me или is SM into brainwashing? She has systamatically taken over the world with her books. Далее she will be Americas first ever hem hem SPARKLY PRESIDENT (no offence Barrack Ты rock) and twi hardiness has been taken to a whole knew level people religions such as CULLENISM yes Ты guys heard me cul-llen-ism.
Here is the cullenism 10 'commandments'

1.thou shalt wear Золото contact lenses-even to sleep!
2. thou shalt only drink cherryade или клюква сок (bassically its gotta be red)
3. thou shalt not take the lords name in vain (robert pattinson) cept when Ты are screaming it at his...
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I Опубликовано this a couple other spots, but I would really like to know anti-twilight/neutral Фаны opinions. I sort of ranted on the subject, but I think my intent is pretty clear. I'd Любовь to read Комментарии if Ты have any, или Ты can just skip this Статья :)

This is sort of an informal rant/observation.

We all know that New Moon is about tragedy and the loss of Любовь and the aftermath. Edward left Bella. But why did he leave her?

Since New Moon is being adapted into a feature length film, I've been seeing alot of Вопросы and accusations reguarding Edward's absense.

Examples:
- Jacob's better...
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Hey ya kittens! I was wondering in how many words could I write Twilight giving the same character development as Meyer and saying obviously the main plot so don’t bash…I had a lot of fun doing it XDD It’s not to offend anyone but think about it trees could have been saved if Meyer had stuck with this version.

So on with reading


Hi! My name is Bella Swan, I’m moving to Forks because I want to leave my mom with his new boyfriend live happily ever after although I hate where my father leaves. Forks it’s a rainy state and so I’m in an airplane to go to it.

When I arrive there’s my...
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posted by Dearheart
Hello, Котята and newcomers to the CAT! Don’t worry, none of Ты are in trouble или anything; I just feel that things have gotten a teensy bit out of hand, so I’m Письмо this as a reminder to all of Ты before it gets worse.

Newcomers, if Ты haven’t already, link It’s very important that people follow them so that we can keep this spot from turning ugly.

For those of Ты who’ve already read them, let’s review Rule 5:

Make sure the material Ты Отправить stays true to the spirit of this spot. Whether it’s a soapbox, image, video, etc...please make sure it doesn’t have excessive language,...
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1) Bring a good sense of humor. Don’t ever take things personally, and try not to be too sensitive. Otherwise you’ll be miserable. Just let loose, have fun, and be willing to laugh.

2) If someone offends you, don’t blow up. Respond in a polite, mature way, point out what offended Ты and why Ты find it offensive. If it’s something serious или happens to be one of the things forbidden in Rule 5, chances are people will back Ты up and the problem will work out. If it isn’t, reread Rule 1.

3) Twi-hards, this isn’t a place to drool over Edward или gush about how amazing the Twilight...
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posted by renrae
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. She's the blond girl in twilight. The one tricked by a modeling scam, the one that hates Bella. We first meet Lauren in the cafeteria, I believe. Almost all Twilight Фаны do not like her. I mean no disrespect to the ones on this spot или any others, but I do not think she has a reason to be hated. Reasons people give for hating Lauren are similar to the reasons for hating Jessica. "She's rude", "She's mean to bella and stupid", even "she's blond." That last one made no sense to me. The reason Lauren "hates" Bella is because her crush, Tyler, is infatuated with...
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posted by AliceHaleCullen
I'm so glad to have found a spot that isn't full of people gushing over how hot Robert Pattinson is. Since the movie came out, the original idea of the series has deteriorated.

I used to feel proud to call myself a 'Twilight' fan. I first read it in 2005, and to be quite honest I loved how nobody had read it, it seemed really special. So called 'Fans' who now go around using the word 'Twilighter' just because they have seen the film have ruined it for everyone else.

Fair enough, it's nobodies fault it has been made into an overated hyped movie, but if they really understood what it meant before...
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Despite whatever impressions Ты may have garnered from the Название of this article, this is not about glorifying Twilight over His Dark Materials. It's about scolding the movie industry for giving New moon the green light while simultaneously giving The Subtle Knife the red light.

I know that Hollywood is a business, just as book selling is a buisness, above all else. The only time films are made for the sake of making films anymore is if they're independent. I admit that the occasional brilliantly artistic film makes it into the mainstream, and when it does, it's often recognized and lauded....
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I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when Чтение Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think Ты can call yourself a vegetarian if Ты don't eat things like people или those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people Чтение the Книги also thought (well, maybe not specifically...
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Yes, it's true, everyone! Twilight has changed our world in several ways!!

No longer are streets near movie theaters and bookstores safe! I haven't seen even one free from screaming fangirls (and yes, screaming fanboys) when the new Фильмы come out and even after it's all been done for about a месяц или so. Yeah, there are still girls running around in "I <3 guys that sparkle" t-shirts carring on about how great the twilight movie was at the movie theater in my town.

The world now has fewer trees than ever before, just because there where over millions of pieces of paper used for the twilight...
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posted by kayleebabee
this is a study i have conducted to ask what is the big deal weith twilight and edward cullen I asked my littlesister tasha what she thought of the global phenomenon that has all the worlds women gripped in an edward cullen orgasm.

Me: why do Ты think Edward Cullen is *shudders violently* hot?
Tasha: (I have made her Ответы sound like she has n intellectual brain cell through hours of trranslating twilight gibberish) I think it is mostly because he is unnatainable and perfect.
(what she actually сказал(-а) was: squeeeeeeee edward cullen i want him but cant have him because that сука bella is his...
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