Ellen Degeneres Explains How To Be A Decent Human Being

I ask this because the word seems to be confusing people.

To me, marriage is the public declaration and legal recognition of Любовь between two people. When I get married it is so I can commit to my spouse and give myself over to him (?) wholeheartedly. It will be when we are seen by the state as, essentially, one person, with the same assets. It will be when we are seen but the state as family. It will be when I want to celebrate my undying Любовь for the person I have fallen head over heals for.

It will not be a religious event.

Although, if I was religious, it definitely would be. I'm sure I would...

These days, our culture is rapidly evolving and society is begging for еще and еще things in the line of wifi, touchpads, and apps. To an average person, an adequate phone has to include internet and something или other that slides out. People just aren't like they used to be, and, for lack of a better word, want fancy-shmancy gadgets that have at least three uses. Just ask any elderly person and they'll tell you.

I'm sure that most of us have heard of kindles and/or nooks. They're what we call ebook readers. In case you're confused about an ebook reader's purpose, it's basically a slim and...