Senator Jacqui Lambie Vows To Stop Sharia Law As Soon As She Works Out What It Is [Satire] 

Jacqui Lambie Vows To Stop Sharia Law As Soon As She Works Out What It Is

overnight, controversial Senator Jacqui Lambie vowed to do everything in her ability to stop the overwhelming push of Sharia Law into Australia as soon as she’s able to work out exactly what Sharia Law actually is and in what way it’s pushing into Australia.

Lambie, who has long been a vocal opponent of what she believes Islam to be, has said that she will stop at nothing to prevent the adoption of Sharia Law in Australia, whatever it might be.

“We simply cannot allow Sharia Law to enter Australia,” Lambie told

. “I am ready and willing to put a stop to it whatever it might be. My critics will say that it’s absurd to think it’s even a possibility but they just don’t fully grasp the threat of Sharia Law in the same way that I don’t full grasp the concept of Sharia Law.

“Right now I’m just going to assume everything I don’t like is Sharia Law. It’s been far too hot this week and that’s probably down to Sharia. Not to mention that the price of Vegemite has gone up and my local cafe got my coffee order wrong. It’s sickening to see Sharia Law encroach on our world like this.

“Honestly, I’ve been so busy fighting Sharia Law on a day-to-day basis that I haven’t even had time to read a book on it, or a wikipedia article or anything.

“Whatever it is, though, it’s terrible and a real present threat. I mean, if it wasn’t a constant actual danger to the Australian public than my constant rallying against it would seem bizarre, pointless and make the whole thing a weird justification for a dog whistle - So I suppose it’s best to assume it’s a real problem just in case.”

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