THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC секунда LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying Ты screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything Ты are not.
Любовь may be beautiful, Любовь may be bliss,
But I only slept with Ты 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could Любовь no other --
That is until I met your brother.
Розы are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the Розы are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I Любовь your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, Ты take my breath away.
What have Ты stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for Ты no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
