Transvestites and The Hulk

Duncan walked to Starbucks for his first день working at that place. He felt like walking there, because he hasn't exercised in a while—not that he needed to. And he needed to buy a motorcycle pronto.

Finally, he arrived at the mini Starbucks shop. There was a lot of people in there, obviously buying coffee and junk. Mostly all of them were business people.

Duncan grimaced; he hated business people. They were too uptight, and they just didn't know how to have fun. All they do is sit behind their little стол письменный, стол and do boring paperwork. Trent's dad was like that, but he wasn't uptight.

He sighed, and headed inside the shop. He got quite a few looks from the girls. He hid his smirk. Maybe after I get off of work, I'll have a lot of phone numbers, he thought smugly. Then he felt horrified. Hopefully it won't be from guys. He had a horrifying experience of that once—or twice.

–

Duncan was drinking пиво at his friend's bar, sitting on the metal bar stools. He felt like crap; he just dumped his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—and she cried her сердце out. He regretted doing that, but he just didn't feel anything anymore.

He sighed and took another swig of his beer. He saw a lot of girls checking him out. Normally, he would play along, but not today. He just felt plain horrible.

Which was rare for Duncan since he usually didn't give a crap about how the girl felt, because they themselves didn't give a crap. He didn't know his ex cared about him.

In his peripheral vision, he saw a tall, provocative-looking woman take a сиденье, место, сиденья Далее to him. She gave him a small smile, to which he reluctantly returned back.

His friend, Bill, gave him another free пиво on the house, for he knew that Duncan was feeling down. He looked at the girl Далее to him and his eyes widened. He quickly scampered away to the door that says “Employees Only.”

Duncan rolled his eyes. He didn't know Bill was afraid of confident girls.

“Pay him no mind—he's a coward,” he muttered to the girl.

He heard the girl giggle lightly. “I don't mind. I'm used to it. Guys usually have that kind of stupid reaction,” she replied casually. “But you're different. I like that.”

Duncan laughed with remorse in the pit of his stomach. “Sorry, babe. I'm not feeling it right now.”

The girl slid her finger slowly on his forearm to his elbow flirtatiously. Guess she's the persistent type, Duncan thought.

“I'll make Ты feel up to it, sweetheart,” she whispered seductively in his ear. “I promise Ты that.”

Duncan chuckled and looked at her. She was sexy, but there was something unusual about her. He felt like he shouldn't give into her persuading. His insight was bugging him about it.

Duncan shook his head. “Like I said, sorry, babe. I just broke up with my girlfriend. I don't feel like having fun.”

The girl pouted. “But I want to have fun with you.” She grinned sexily. “I'll make Ты forget about that girl. What's your name, sexy?”

“Duncan. What about you?”

“...Marie.” She put her hand on вверх of his, stroking it with her thumb.

Her hands looked large and heavy. She must have gotten her hands from her dad—or her mom. He gently and quickly slipped his hand out of hers.

“Look, there are other guys who want to have some fun—go seduce them,” Duncan urged her. “I just...want to be alone. Please,” he added.

Marie looked at him with apologetic eyes. “You must have really cared about her.”

“Well...I thought she would be like those other girls, Ты know, the ones who just want to make out 24/7. I never knew she was serious about me. Ugh...” Duncan scratched his head roughly.

“What was her name?”

“Vivian Peterson.”

Marie gasped. “Oh, yes, she was a very sweet girl.” Then she looked at her sparkly розовый watch. “Oh, I have to get going now.” She stood up to leave. Duncan grabbed her wrist.

“How do Ты know her?” he inquired.

Marie simply smiled. “She was my ex-girlfriend, as well. Ta-ta.” She wiggled her fingers to Duncan and left, strutting her hips.

Bill whistled lowly Далее to him. Duncan didn't even know he was there. Bill patted his back.

“Damn, these transvestites get so believable-looking, eh, Duncan?” he snickered.

Duncan felt like vomiting, and it wasn't from the beer.

–

Duncan shuddered at the memory. He saw Frankie talking on the phone, and Duncan walked over to him.

“Reporting for duty, sir,” Duncan joked, saluting him.

Frank pressed a button on his phone and put it in his pocket. He smiled warmly. “Good morning, Duncan,” he greeted politely.

“So, who was that on the phone? Is it your girlfriend?” Duncan teased, smirking.

Frank blushed. “Ah...no, that was one of my employees. She's going to be the one helping Ты around. Here is your apron.” He gave him the green apron.

Duncan grimaced and reluctantly put it on. “So when's this girl going to be here?”

“She's on her way now.” He blushed again.

“Do Ты like her, Frank?” Duncan grinned.

Frank blushed harder and quickly left, stumbling a bit. He obviously likes this girl.

Duncan chuckled a bit. He jumped over the counter and saw one girl making an espresso. She was tall, but not taller than Duncan. He couldn't see her face, though. She had jet-black hair and had a brown complexion.

“Hey,” Duncan greeted. “I'm new here. What's your name, sunshine?”

The girl quickly turned around. She was wearing glasses and had a beauty mark near her right eye. She had wide, dark brown eyes. She was cute.

The girl smiled brightly. “Yes, I know you're new. Frank told me about his interesting interview. Ты are Duncan Evans, correct? I'm Zily Lorenzo,” she сказал(-а) happily; she had a slight Filipino accent. She must be one of those hyper girls, Duncan mused.

“Zily? That's quite a unique name Ты got there. It sounds cool. So...what am I supposed to do? I accidentally made Frankie be all flustered and he ran out. I'm supposed to be waiting for a girl; she's going to be guiding me around или somethin',” Duncan explained. “You're pretty cute.”

Zily laughed. “Sorry! You're super hot and all, but...I'm not dating right now.”

Duncan smirked. “I can change that status of yours.”

“You're really persistent, aren't you?”

“That's just who I am, honey.”

Zily smiled apologetically. “Sorry, Duncan.” She put the three espressos on a black tray and carried it towards the customers. “Oh. There she is.”

Duncan looked over where Zily was looking. Then he grinned.

“Stalking me, eh, Princess?”

Courtney quickly whipped her head towards Duncan and groaned out loud. “I think I'm going to die right now,” she mumbled.

Zily looked at Courtney. “You know him?”

“Yes unfortunately. We had a very unforeseen meeting.” Courtney looked at Duncan with, scowling. “Please don't tell me you're the new guy.”

Duncan hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, “I'm afraid I can't do that, Princess.”

He felt Courtney shiver a bit. He grinned, and loved on how he has such an affect towards her. She's into him totally.

Zily gasped and squealed. “Courtney! Ты didn't tell me Ты had a boyfriend!” she said.

Courtney pushed Duncan away roughly. “He is not my boyfriend.”

“That's right, I'm not her boyfriend,” Duncan announced. “I'm her husband. We met each other at Vegas, got married, dressed up like superheroes, and bada-bing—we're married.”

Courtney sneered at him. “No, we are not married. I don't think Ты know me that much, Duncan. I'm not some ditzy girl who can just fall 'head over heels' at the sight of you. No. I'm better and smarter than that.” She grabbed an фартук and tied it on. “Come on, I'll Показать Ты the ropes of this job, and then I won't have to interact with Ты или your ego.”

Duncan smirked. Super feisty and super hot, he thought happily. He turned towards Zily, who looked amused and had a knowing look on. He put his mouth near her ear.

“I'm actually her sex part—,”he started to whisper.

“Duncan Evans, shut the hell up and get over here!” Courtney shouted. All of the customers looked over at Courtney and looked a bit frightened. He almost laughed at that.

“Yes, darling!” he sang and walked towards the fuming girl.

Courtney took a deep breath, murmuring, “Control your temper. He's just a cocky Neanderthal who really needs to be locked up in an asylum. Control...”

Duncan laughed huskily. “I think Ты need to be locked up in an asylum, Courtney, since you're practically crazy for me.”

“Lies!” she snapped. “I am not interested in you! Ты are just a person—an unknown species!—with a mind of freaking three год old!”

Duncan got irritated. “Oh yeah? Well, you're just a girl who has a pole shoved up deep inside her ass! I'm surprised it's not coming out of your mouth by now! Have Ты ever heard the word 'joke' или 'fun'?” he asked.

“Have Ты ever heard of the word 'mature'?”

“Why, yes, I have, Princess. I've seen it and I've read it.” Duncan grinned smugly.

Princess let out a noise of disgust. “That wasn't what I was talking about! Playboy was definitely not what I was talking about!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Duncan waved her off. “I'll just ask Zily to help me.”

“No, Ты will not! Zily is busy right now! I'm the one who's supposed to guide Ты around! Besides, you'll probably just flirt with her like how Ты do with other girls!”

“Oh, are Ты jealous right now, babe?”

“Yes, I am. The little green monster inside of me wants to wring her neck out and eat it, because I don't want her filthy hands over you. After that, I'll perform a ritual for Ты to fall for me,” Courtney сказал(-а) sarcastically.

“Wish that was true,” Duncan retorted. “But it is.”

Courtney punched him in the gut and stomped over to the freezer room to get ice.

Duncan resisted the pain and followed her, shutting the door in the process. He watched Courtney break the huge ice with her fists. She looked beyond furious, and, secretly, Duncan was scared of her.

“And now we see the mother медведь beat up her cubs. Abusive, isn't she?” Duncan сказал(-а) deeply, pretending to be the narrator of Animal Planet.

Courtney threw sharp glass at Duncan, to which he skillfully dodged, much to Courtney's dismay.

“Murderer,” Duncan grumbled. “And I thought I was the criminal here.”

Courtney growled loudly at him. “You drive me freaking insane! What the hell do Ты want from me?! Stop making my mind go around in swirls every single freaking time!”

Duncan grinned. “I can tell that's a good thing. Translation: Stop being so irresistibly hot and Kiss me, my prince!”

Courtney punched еще ice that were in the bag. They were already small, but now Courtney made them almost look like sand.

“Why don't Ты stop?” Duncan asked suddenly.

“Stop what?”

“Stop making my mind go in swirls или whatever Ты said.”

Courtney sniggered. “That is impossible. Ты don't even have a mind.”

“Oh, funny, Court.”

Courtney laughed again and picked up the bag of sandy ice. Duncan grabbed it from her, being surprisingly gentlemanly. She rolled her eyes and opened the door. или tried to.

“I...I can't open it,” Courtney muttered. “It's stuck.”

“That's impossible. I didn't close the door hard. Here, let me do it.” Duncan roughly gave the bag of ice, getting a glare from Courtney.

Note to self: Never call Duncan gentlemanly. It'll bite Ты in the жопа, попка for no reason why, Courtney thought bitterly.

Duncan pulled the the door handle hard, shaking it, and smashing it with his elbow. He ended up feeling bruised up and unmanly.

“It's stuck,” he сказал(-а) lamely.

“No way,” Courtney gasped sarcastically. “That's what I said, loser! Ты didn't have to act all macho and manly to prove me wrong, because one: you're not macho and manly, and two: I'm always right.”

Duncan rolled his eyes at her. “You're freaking lying to yourself, sweetheart. I am macho and manly. And Ты are not always right. You're only right towards other things, but you're never right towards yourself and your feelings.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“'Kay, look, Princess—you are obviously into me, and you're just denying it. Do us both a favor, and just admit it! You. Like. Me.” Duncan grinned.

“Grr! Ты make me so frustrated!” With that, Courtney grabbed Duncan and smashed her lips roughly on his.

Now that's what I'm talking about, Duncan thought joyfully.

–

Courtney was on the other side of the freezing room, shivering. Her lips looked almost blue, and she was freezing cold.

Duncan, on the other hand, was just dozing off near the door. He looked comfortable...and warm. He wasn't even shivering, and his lips were still normal-looking!

It's official. Duncan's not human, neither is he an alien. He probably escaped from Area 51! Courtney shouted in her mind.

“You know, Ты wouldn't be shivering if we continued our so-called 'lip molding,'” Duncan сказал(-а) casually, his eyes still closed.

“Wh-Why aren't y-you c-c-cold?” she chattered. “Y-Y-You l-l-look wa-warm...”

“Oh, that's because in one of the prisons I was in, they had this freezing chamber. I accidentally pulled down the chief's pants, and he got angry. I've been sent in there multiples of times, until I escaped. So, I'm used to it, Princess.” He opened one eye. “Do Ты want body heat?”

Courtney wanted to say no, but she didn't want to die from this stupid freezing room. She reluctantly crawled over to Duncan, who smirked when he saw her crawling.

“That crawl looks like you're seducing me, babe,” Duncan snickered. “I can see your rack.”

Courtney immediately hugged herself to Duncan, punching him in the process.

“Ooh, aren't we eager?”

“You know, it'd be best if Ты shut up. I just want to survive, and get away from this freezing room as soon as possible. So just let us suffer in silence, please.” Courtney buried her face in his neck. Strangely, he smells good, like...a minty оранжевый smell. It was rare, but he smelled amazing.

“Do Ты want me to Kiss you? Your lips are freaking icy blue,” Duncan offered.

Courtney shook her head. “No, I'll just Kiss your neck,” she mumbled. “I'm feeling warm now.”

She felt Duncan shiver lightly, and she felt concerned. Was Duncan cold или something? She lifted her head up and started Поцелуи his neck to make him warmer. Duncan shifted a bit.

“Are Ты cold?” Courtney asked against his neck. His pulse was throbbing hard. “Are Ты okay?”

“I...am fine,” Duncan squeaked. “Just...continue.”

Courtney's lips traveled up to his jawline to his lips. She kissed him gently and then let go.

“That was the sexiest thing Ты have ever done—for now,” Duncan said, sounding breathless.

Courtney rolled her eyes. “It didn't mean anything. Ты looked cold, and Ты shivered. And why do Ты sound so breathless? Ты didn't even do anything.”

Duncan didn't say anything to her which made Courtney feel suspicious.

Then she smirked.

“Are Ты feeling uncomfortable by my kissing, Mr. Evans?” Courtney teased.

Duncan scoffed. “No, I wasn't.”

“Your actions speak otherwise.”

“You're annoying.”

“You're perverted.”

“It's natural, babe.”

“You're unnatural, babe.”

“Stop turning me on.”

“Stop turning me off.”

I'm awesome at comebacks, Courtney thought.

All of a sudden the door opened, Показ Zily and Frank. They looked at Courtney and Duncan's position and blushed hard.

“We did not do anything!” Courtney shouted, getting off of Duncan.

Duncan stood up, brushing off his pants. “Do Ты actually expect them to believe that, Princess? Nobody can't do nothing in freezing room alone—especially if the girl has the hots for the guy and can't restrain her sexual urges.”

Courtney ignored him, even though she wanted to grab his head and smash it against the wall. She never knew she was so violent. Pretty soon the hulk with come. Roar. And she never knew she was so weird.

“How did Ты guys get stuck in here?” Zily asked, concerned. “We've been looking for Ты guys!

“Well, the door was shut tightly,” Courtney replied sheepishly. “We tried to open it, but we couldn't.”

“That's impossible, Courtney,” Frank murmured. “You're strong...and so is Duncan. This freezer door never gets stuck. The carpenters made sure of that.”

“Wait,” Zily interjected, “did Ты guys pull the door instead of pushing it?”

Courtney had a blank face on. Then she looked livid. She screamed and stomped out of the freezer, fuming like crazy.

Duncan smiled innocently at Zily and Frank. “Isn't she hot when she's fuming?”