(In the tune of Beautiful by Christina Aguilera; enjoy!)

(whisper) I don't wanna lose . . .

Every день is so difficult
It's all the fault of Chris McLean
Now and then our dignity is smashed
From all the pain, it's so overrated

I am a winner, no matter what Chris says,
Even though I didn't win last season!
I am a winner, in all the wrong ways (according to him),
Yes, even if I didn't win last season!
So don't drop me from the plane today!

To all the others, you're utterly hopeless!
So consumed in all your victories.
Trying hard to avoid elimination
The drama's on, left your morals in San Juan
And now Chris is sayin'

"You're a loser, but thanks for the ratings!
Along with your loss last season!
You're such a loser, other losers would be offended!
Especially with your loss last season!
So get out of the plane today!"

No matter if we lose,
No matter if we win,
When the challenges are over,
The day'll be done and through with

And everywhere we go,
There'll always be one loser
But after quite a few weeks,
There'll be one that's victorious!

'Cause we're all winners, no matter what Chris says,
Even if we all didn't actually win!
Yeah, we're all winners, not including Duncan 'cause he quit!
Even if the contract states there's only one winner!
But we're all being dropped today!