Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if Ты know us then Ты know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope Ты guys like it.

Emmett's pov.

"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 минуты and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he сказал(-а) chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. или at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I сказал(-а) a bit sharply.

"No.I was getting bored.", he said.

"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I сказал(-а) in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he сказал(-а) a little impatient. " Jeese.", I сказал(-а) again. He sighed. "Alright. So if Ты can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard Ты can fart.", I сказал(-а) triumphently. "And how did Ты come across this?", he сказал(-а) chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he сказал(-а) fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I сказал(-а) sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two еще just to be on the безопасно, сейф side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out или Ты won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( Болталка letters =fart sounds, the еще letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I сказал(-а) clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he сказал(-а) laughing again."Let's go practice.", he сказал(-а) eager to learn.


*********



"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to Показать Ты something.", we сказал(-а) in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", сказал(-а) rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen Ты know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't Ты the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I сказал(-а) irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for Вампиры to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID Ты EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. By now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least Ты can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", сказал(-а) Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", сказал(-а) Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", сказал(-а) Alice еще alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", сказал(-а) Jake. "Then why are Ты coming closer?", сказал(-а) Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I сказал(-а) still watching." Ты can't but I can.", сказал(-а) Edward chuckling. By now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are Ты willing to bet he is going to get his sorry жопа, попка knocked around?", сказал(-а) Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the Далее minute?", I said. "Your on.", сказал(-а) Edward."Edward aren't Ты going to go help him?", Bella сказал(-а) worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", сказал(-а) Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But Ты Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I сказал(-а) knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." Ты know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", сказал(-а) Bella. "hey Bella can Ты go make some попкорн this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I сказал(-а) and sat down to enjoy the Показать just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."