9.: Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the 's'. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the 'q' is silent.
8.: Ask if blondes really do have еще fun.
7.: Inquire as to what he actually does during his night shift at the hospital, with all those pretty nurses in ER.
6.: Instead of telling him to "get lost" in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5.: When he annoys you, respond with "times have changed, old man".
4.: Ask him what type of superhuman power compassion is - what does he do in a fight? Любовь thy enemy to death?
3.: Leap out from behind the стол письменный, стол in his study when he isn't expecting it and spray him with holy water.
2.: Call him Doctor McSteamy или McDreamy.
and finally......
1.: Run around the Emergency Room screaming "I've been bitten! I've been bitten!".