Does this seem like a good opening paragraph?

They say the only difference between the future and the present is the past, that the past dredges up memories that leads us to the future. But, I ask you, what is the future? Is it tomorrow? Далее week? A year? или a decade? It all depends on you, for me, its where everything far, yet not so far is planned how Ты plan it. In order for it to be like this, Ты have to make the right steps, take precautions, listen to what the paat has to say. Okay then, so what is the past? Is it yesterday? Last week? Last month? Last century? Again, it differs from person to person, for me, it could be that last second, anything behind what Ты did now, now and now, all this is now slipping into the past.

So, the plot is after losing conciousness a girl is propelled into her future where almost everything is the same, yet, when she talks to her future self, she finds so much has changed, when she returns to her time period everything happens as she was told and more.
 Potter-rulez posted Больше года
next question »

Письмо Ответы

ms_brightside27 said:
This is really good; I mean, it’s quite engaging, considering that it’s narrative summary.
I’m not too sure about “...yet not so far is planned how Ты plan it.”, I think Ты can word that better. It might be a tad lengthy; maybe Ты could cut some of it and turn those pieces into a hook или blurb (considering that this might be published one day, which wouldn’t be surprising).

Good luck, and your story idea sounds amazing BTW!
select as best answer
posted Больше года 
*
Thanks, i'll keep all that in mind
Potter-rulez posted Больше года
AuthorForPooh said:
That really got me! I loved your choice of words and the voice Ты used. Keep it!
select as best answer
posted Больше года 
*
Thanks, thats what my my Друзья сказал(-а)
Potter-rulez posted Больше года
next question »