I felt like I was in jail that Saturday. I was confined to my room, and only allowed to leave for the bathroom. I wasn't allowed anything to eat или drink. Luckily, after the first time this happened when I was nine, I always keep a huge stash of Еда and drinks in my closet dresser. But there's only so much to do in a tiny room. I read еще than a hundred pages of a book before noon.
Then I heard the doorbell ring. I looked out the window, but I couldn't see who was at the door. I went to my door, lightly on my toes, and cracked the door open. I heard a voice that could only belong to Micah.
"No, she can't come to the door," I heard Dad say. My сердце pounded; for some reason it was scary to think of Dad talking to Micah. They were just so different, it didn't seem likely they could have a civilized conversation. Micah was so warm and kind... Dad was so cold and bitter. It was like огонь and ice.
"Well, can Ты tell her I came by?" he asked. I could imagine Dad rolling his eyes right about now.
"Yeah, sure."
"Thank you. Have a nice day, sir," Micah said. I smiled to myself. Only he could be so polite to a monster. The front door closed. I went to my window, and pulled the window up.
"Micah!" I сказал(-а) in a rough whisper. He was in the front yard, with his back turned to me. I called his name again, a little louder this time. He stopped and turned around. I waved my hand and then he saw me. He smiled and walked a little closer.
"Hey!" he said. I put my index finger to my lips. He turned his voice to a whisper. "What're Ты doing?"
"i'm grounded," I сказал(-а) quietly. Micah furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why?"
"Because of last night when he saw us..." I stopped. The reminder brought back the warm burning sensation to my lips, and a strange awkwardness to the conversation. Micah seemed to notice too, because I saw his cheeks turn to a light shade of pink.
"Oh," he said. "Sorry I got Ты in trouble."
"It's fine," I shrugged. "I just wish we could hang ou---" a thought popped into my head. I smiled. "Just a minute!" I said. I left the window, and returned to my bedroom door. I quickly locked all the locks on my door, then ran back to the window. I put one leg out onto the roof, and then pulled myself out. I scooted my way to the edge of the roof. I saw the terror in Micah's face as I got ready to jump. He came closer, holding his arms out. I jumped, biting my tongue to keep myself from screaming as I flew towards Micah.
We both tumbled backwards into the grass, landing еще lightly than I had expected. We both laughed.
"Nice landing," he сказал(-а) sarcastically. I rolled my eyes. Then he took my face gently in his hands and pulled my closer, Поцелуи me. When it was over, I put my arms around him and leaned into him, laying my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me too, and we sat there in silent bliss for a while. I pulled away.
"So, whatcha wanna do?" I asked. He smiled.
We went to the park, where we acted like a bunch of little kids. We ran around the equipment, laughing like idiots. I hadn't like this in a while, which was weird. I didn't understand it at first, but I concluded to myself that it was because I loved Micah, and I knew he loved me back. I hadn't felt like this since Bryant and I went out. I shook the thought out of my head, disgusted. No. I would not compare Micah to Bryant. That was impossible. Like him and Dad, they were two entirely different people. It was no competition.
Soon it began getting late. We began walking back to my house. I stopped just below my window and turned to him.
"Micah? Are we...?" I couldn't finish the sentence. It was too embarrassing to say out loud.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked. I ducked my head and nodded. "Do Ты want to be?" Ugh, couldn't he just say yes? I think it's pretty obvious I want to be. I nodded, and his smile grew huge. "That's great..." he said. I was too happy to speak. He leaned in and kissed me like he had before, and my сердце nearly flew out of my chest.
Micah helped hoist me up high enough so I could reach the gutter. I tried to pull myself up, but he helped еще by pushing my feet up under me. I smiled at him one last time, and he waved.
Then there was a scream.
It was like a scream you'd hear out of a horror movie. A gut-wrenching, blood-curdling scream. My сердце dropped to my stomach. I turned to Micah, and he seemed terrified too. I had to put on a Храбрая сердцем face. I laughed a little, but it couldn't have been too convincing; I was scared out of my mind.
"Uh, ha ha, it's the TV..." I said. He sighed a breath of relief.
"I'll see Ты later?" he asked. I nodded quickly and climbed inside. I threw my window closed and tried to quickly unlock my door with trembling fingers. Once I got it open, I bolted downstairs, nearly tripping and falling.
I fell down in my tracks when I came into the kitchen.
I laid there in a bawling heap as Dad stood off to the side, actually looking frightened.
"You're not supposed to come out of your room!" he сказал(-а) after a while. It was hard to hear him over my sobs and the deafening ringing in my ears. This couldn't be happening. Never did I think this would happen.
Mom laid there on the кухня floor just a few feet away from me. Her face had fear and pain all over it. Even then, she was still beautiful. Even through all these more-than-stressful years. Even through the fights, the regret, the undying pain and remorse, she was still a beautiful woman. She didn't move. A кухня нож was shoved through her heart.
"You will not speak of this!" Dad shouted. I stood up on my knees.
"You're a monster!! How could Ты do this?! Your own wife!! The woman Ты fell in Любовь with!! How could Ты do this to her?!" I shouted with every ounce of hate I had for this man. He looked shocked.
"I'm going to call the coroner," Dad said. "We'll say it was suicide." I wanted so bad to take the нож out of Mom's сердце and stab him so many times... But I would never do that; I didn't want Mom's sweet, precious blood to be tainted with his. "You'd better go along with it. I'd have no problem doing the same to you. I don't care who's watching!" he shouted. I swallowed, and nodded. I couldn't find my voice. My throat was quivering trying to hold back the painful tears.
Dad left to go call the coroner, leaving me alone with Mom. I sniffed and crawled over to her. I curled up against her side, stroking her hand.
"I'm so, so, so, so sorry Mom. Please. Forgive me. I wish we could've run away. Run far, far away. No one deserves this," I said. Soon, еще tears came, racking my entire body. When the coroner came, even they were shocked by my hysterics. They confirmed that suicide was likely, my mom had gone to the doctor a few months назад for depression. I was the only witness, but since I couldn't speak through my unrelenting sobs, I couldn't object.
"Go to bed," Dad ordered once everyone else was gone. I'd never felt еще alone in my entire life. Mom was gone, leaving me alone with Dad. I ran up to my room super fast, wanting to leave this all behind.
I couldn't even cry myself to sleep. I stayed up all night in tears.
Then I heard the doorbell ring. I looked out the window, but I couldn't see who was at the door. I went to my door, lightly on my toes, and cracked the door open. I heard a voice that could only belong to Micah.
"No, she can't come to the door," I heard Dad say. My сердце pounded; for some reason it was scary to think of Dad talking to Micah. They were just so different, it didn't seem likely they could have a civilized conversation. Micah was so warm and kind... Dad was so cold and bitter. It was like огонь and ice.
"Well, can Ты tell her I came by?" he asked. I could imagine Dad rolling his eyes right about now.
"Yeah, sure."
"Thank you. Have a nice day, sir," Micah said. I smiled to myself. Only he could be so polite to a monster. The front door closed. I went to my window, and pulled the window up.
"Micah!" I сказал(-а) in a rough whisper. He was in the front yard, with his back turned to me. I called his name again, a little louder this time. He stopped and turned around. I waved my hand and then he saw me. He smiled and walked a little closer.
"Hey!" he said. I put my index finger to my lips. He turned his voice to a whisper. "What're Ты doing?"
"i'm grounded," I сказал(-а) quietly. Micah furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why?"
"Because of last night when he saw us..." I stopped. The reminder brought back the warm burning sensation to my lips, and a strange awkwardness to the conversation. Micah seemed to notice too, because I saw his cheeks turn to a light shade of pink.
"Oh," he said. "Sorry I got Ты in trouble."
"It's fine," I shrugged. "I just wish we could hang ou---" a thought popped into my head. I smiled. "Just a minute!" I said. I left the window, and returned to my bedroom door. I quickly locked all the locks on my door, then ran back to the window. I put one leg out onto the roof, and then pulled myself out. I scooted my way to the edge of the roof. I saw the terror in Micah's face as I got ready to jump. He came closer, holding his arms out. I jumped, biting my tongue to keep myself from screaming as I flew towards Micah.
We both tumbled backwards into the grass, landing еще lightly than I had expected. We both laughed.
"Nice landing," he сказал(-а) sarcastically. I rolled my eyes. Then he took my face gently in his hands and pulled my closer, Поцелуи me. When it was over, I put my arms around him and leaned into him, laying my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me too, and we sat there in silent bliss for a while. I pulled away.
"So, whatcha wanna do?" I asked. He smiled.
We went to the park, where we acted like a bunch of little kids. We ran around the equipment, laughing like idiots. I hadn't like this in a while, which was weird. I didn't understand it at first, but I concluded to myself that it was because I loved Micah, and I knew he loved me back. I hadn't felt like this since Bryant and I went out. I shook the thought out of my head, disgusted. No. I would not compare Micah to Bryant. That was impossible. Like him and Dad, they were two entirely different people. It was no competition.
Soon it began getting late. We began walking back to my house. I stopped just below my window and turned to him.
"Micah? Are we...?" I couldn't finish the sentence. It was too embarrassing to say out loud.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked. I ducked my head and nodded. "Do Ты want to be?" Ugh, couldn't he just say yes? I think it's pretty obvious I want to be. I nodded, and his smile grew huge. "That's great..." he said. I was too happy to speak. He leaned in and kissed me like he had before, and my сердце nearly flew out of my chest.
Micah helped hoist me up high enough so I could reach the gutter. I tried to pull myself up, but he helped еще by pushing my feet up under me. I smiled at him one last time, and he waved.
Then there was a scream.
It was like a scream you'd hear out of a horror movie. A gut-wrenching, blood-curdling scream. My сердце dropped to my stomach. I turned to Micah, and he seemed terrified too. I had to put on a Храбрая сердцем face. I laughed a little, but it couldn't have been too convincing; I was scared out of my mind.
"Uh, ha ha, it's the TV..." I said. He sighed a breath of relief.
"I'll see Ты later?" he asked. I nodded quickly and climbed inside. I threw my window closed and tried to quickly unlock my door with trembling fingers. Once I got it open, I bolted downstairs, nearly tripping and falling.
I fell down in my tracks when I came into the kitchen.
I laid there in a bawling heap as Dad stood off to the side, actually looking frightened.
"You're not supposed to come out of your room!" he сказал(-а) after a while. It was hard to hear him over my sobs and the deafening ringing in my ears. This couldn't be happening. Never did I think this would happen.
Mom laid there on the кухня floor just a few feet away from me. Her face had fear and pain all over it. Even then, she was still beautiful. Even through all these more-than-stressful years. Even through the fights, the regret, the undying pain and remorse, she was still a beautiful woman. She didn't move. A кухня нож was shoved through her heart.
"You will not speak of this!" Dad shouted. I stood up on my knees.
"You're a monster!! How could Ты do this?! Your own wife!! The woman Ты fell in Любовь with!! How could Ты do this to her?!" I shouted with every ounce of hate I had for this man. He looked shocked.
"I'm going to call the coroner," Dad said. "We'll say it was suicide." I wanted so bad to take the нож out of Mom's сердце and stab him so many times... But I would never do that; I didn't want Mom's sweet, precious blood to be tainted with his. "You'd better go along with it. I'd have no problem doing the same to you. I don't care who's watching!" he shouted. I swallowed, and nodded. I couldn't find my voice. My throat was quivering trying to hold back the painful tears.
Dad left to go call the coroner, leaving me alone with Mom. I sniffed and crawled over to her. I curled up against her side, stroking her hand.
"I'm so, so, so, so sorry Mom. Please. Forgive me. I wish we could've run away. Run far, far away. No one deserves this," I said. Soon, еще tears came, racking my entire body. When the coroner came, even they were shocked by my hysterics. They confirmed that suicide was likely, my mom had gone to the doctor a few months назад for depression. I was the only witness, but since I couldn't speak through my unrelenting sobs, I couldn't object.
"Go to bed," Dad ordered once everyone else was gone. I'd never felt еще alone in my entire life. Mom was gone, leaving me alone with Dad. I ran up to my room super fast, wanting to leave this all behind.
I couldn't even cry myself to sleep. I stayed up all night in tears.
crashed and faded
by the fate
that follows
the land
on which
you're standing.
Dreams
are dead...
Fighting for
better days
now seems so
vainly,
everything went
wrong.
Dreams are
broken
in so many nights
that echo
along with
dust of past.
Put yourself
together
and hold on
to something
good,
Ты might survive,
Ты might escape
from the fate
that follows
the land
on which
you're standing.
Days are black
and cold,
nights spent
in despair
and thinking.
Your fate is
bounded to
the land
on which
you're standing.
What we have we won’t give
Up to any without a fight
Our ancestors gave us this birth right
We just want to live in peace
But still the battles will not cease
Until we’re driven from our home
Then we would be left to roam
And settle in some other place
или wiped out with no trace
Our names they wouldn’t know
So we prepare to meet our foe
The tribal headdress worn with pride
And paint upon our skin to hide
Who they face upon the field
Armed with arrows, spear & shield
Seen as men within a crowd
Surging forth we holler aloud
No fear from us will be shown
As they meet the unknown
Warriors not afraid to die
Fighting for our cause we try
To save our land & family
So our tribe can be free
To live as we choose to do
So let battle now ensue