This one is for one of my best Друзья here on fanpop. For Amalie aka ‘xClaireHolt’ who inspired the name of my main character. I am so lucky I found Ты sweetie. <3
The water covered my feet while I slowly walked on the пляж, пляжный trying to calm down. I should have got used to this but it still made my stomach twist every time it happened. I couldn’t help it. I cared too much, that’s the truth. I feared too much also. It was twilight. The sun was struggling to fight with the water which swallowed it every time, but that battle was lost. I sat down in my Избранное place here on the beach, under a palm дерево twice as old as I was. I felt безопасно, сейф here like the leaves of my old friend could protect me from everything. The warm breeze caressed my face and I closed my eyes trying not to think at all.
‘They’re fighting again.’
That was not a question, it was a statement which proves how well my best friend Katia knows me. I opened my eyes just in time to see her sitting right beside me.
‘Yeah…’ I murmured.
‘What is it now?’ she sighed.
‘I don’t know. I got out of the house as soon as I heard them screaming. I suppose it’s just the regular. My mom telling him how he is a irresponsible, lazy, good-for-nothing son. How he does nothing but painting. How this won’t get him anywhere. How my father would have wanted him to…’ My voice cracked. I wasn’t able to go on. Katia put her arms around me and although I wasn’t so comfortable with emotional hugs, I didn’t stop her. In some way I was grateful she was there.
‘It’s gonna be ok. You’ll see…’
I almost giggled. ‘I stopped telling that to myself a long time ago.’
We stood together in silence for another 10 minutes, neither of us feeling the need to talk. That was one good thing about our friendship. Then a silhouette blocked my view.
‘There Ты were Am. Come on, let’s go home.’
‘The show’s over?’ I asked my older brother Tyler raising an eyebrow.
He made an attempt to smile at me. ‘We’re good…’
‘I’m sure Ты are… till Далее time…’ I сказал(-а) but got up and looked at Katia. ‘I’ll see Ты tomorrow?’
‘Sure.’ She smiled.
We started walking towards our house. I was just wondering why he didn’t сказал(-а) anything until now when he cleared his voice.
‘Am Ты know Ты shouldn’t have run away like that. We were worried.’
‘Oh maybe Ты were. But please don’t make me think she was also.’
‘You have to stop thinking that. Ты have to stop thinking she doesn’t Любовь you. She is your mother and she may have made her mistakes but that doesn’t mean she does not Любовь you.’
‘Well she is your mother too.’ I frowned. ‘And please don’t tell me how much she loves you, ‘cause I’m not buying that shit.’
‘Amalie !’
‘Hey, Ты have to stop looking at me like I am 10 years old. I am 18 and I know how things are around here. She doesn’t give a shit. ‘
He looked at me and sighed.
‘You are right I always tend to forget Ты are practically a grown up now. But in time Ты will see I am right when I tell Ты she loves you.’
‘Yeah sure…’ I сказал(-а) skeptical.
We got into the house and I immediately went upstairs. I needed a bath and a good sleep. I heard my mother’s voice when she asked ‘Amalie?’ but I didn’t’ bother to answer. Like who else was there to be? I took off my sneakers and went into the bathroom. I turned on the water in the hot tub and while waiting for it to fill I looked in the mirror. I grimaced. The light in the bathroom made my skin look even еще pale than usual . And Ты would say that walking everyday on the пляж, пляжный would help me get tanned. I started to take my clothes off trying not to look at my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t stand to see how terrifying normal I was. In fact the only thing I like about myself are my green wide eyes. I don’t look at myself as being ugly, but not beautiful either. Katia was beautiful. She had long blonde hair, her traits were like sculpted in stone by a famous artist, she was tall and perfectly proportioned.I… well I was shorter than she was, I wasn’t extremely thin but my legs seemed to be very skinny in comparison with my whole body, I didn’t had any kind of shape, not even breasts. My hair was dark brown with some kind of red tone when in the sunlight. My traits were just… normal. The kind of traits Ты see every day. I could get Остаться в живых in a crowd any time. I got into the tub trying not to think about this any more. Not everybody has to be special right?
After I took a bath and brushed my teeth I put on my Избранное sleeping рубашка and shorts and got into постель, кровати with my Ipod. I was determined not to go down for dinner. One because I was really not hungry, секунда because I wasn’t excited to see my mom just yet. I barely managed to put my head phones when the door opened and Tyler got in.
‘I’m not hungry.’ I immediately said.
‘It’s not that. I…’ he seemed hesitant. ‘I wanted to talk to Ты about something.’
I raised an eyebrow.
‘If it’s about mom Ты can just drop it Ты know?’
‘It’s not about her. I mean it involves her also but it’s just my decision.’
I smiled at him. ‘Ok come on in, sit down’ I pointed at my bed.
He entered and sat Далее to me. He looked at my сделать ставку, ipod and asked:
‘What ‘cha listening to?’
I could see he was trying to delay telling me what he needed to.
‘Mm just the usual New Radicals, Copeland…’
‘Cool.’
‘What is it? What happened?’
My Вопрос took him by surprise so he took his time before answering. Finally he cleared his voice and said:
‘Am as Ты сказал(-а) Ты are old enough to understand all the things that are happening around here. Ты can see that our mother doesn’t agree with the fact that I decided to be a painter… and with a lot of other stuff about me also. We fight and we fight and I can see this affects Ты a lot. And I am sorry about that.’
‘It’s not your fault’ I gushed. ‘It’s only HER fault ! She should just leave Ты alone.’
‘I can’t say it’s only her fault Am. But we both think in a very different way. And now I realize it’s time for me to Переместить on.’
‘Move on? What do Ты mean by moving on?’
‘I thought a lot about this… and I got to the conclusion that I have to leave. I talked to a friend of mine from England and he is еще than happy to let me stay with him until I get on my feet.’
My eyes opened wide. ‘What do Ты mean leave? Leave when?’
‘Tomorrow Am. Tomorrow in the morning…’
I felt a little dizzy so I had impose myself not to hit my head against the вверх of the bed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe he was serious. But there he was, standing there telling me he is leaving to England tomorrow, telling me he is leaving me.
‘You Ты Ты have to be kidding me. How can you, how can Ты say that? How can Ты leave? No no , how can you…’ I was being incoherent and I knew it but I didn’t cared.
‘Am please calm down and listen to me.’
‘CALM DOWN? Ты don’t understand right? Ты don’t understand the only thing keeping me in this bloody house is you. That the only thing who made me still want to live with HER is you. Ты just don’t get it. Ты only care about yourself, Ты wanna go, get rid of her, start a new life and Ты don’t care that Ты are leaving me here. Ты don’t understand that when dad died Ты were my only comfort and Ты still are?’
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. All the pain and frustration I had inside me slipped. He took me in his arms but I shoved him away.
‘Don’t touch me. Go away. Go ahead and leave me.’
‘Am, I understand Ты are upset…’
‘You don’t understand a thing Tyler ! A THING !’
‘I understand еще than Ты think. But listen to me. Am please, just look at me. I am going there, that’s right. But I am not leaving you. I will come visit and I swear, as soon as I get some money to get my own place, I’ll come get Ты Am. I’ll come get you…’
I looked at him sobbing. I knew he was telling the truth but that didn’t calmed me down.
‘So Ты will come get me. But it could take years. YEARS Tyler. How do Ты think I can make it in here by myself?’
‘I will try to come get Ты as soon as I can…’ I could hear regret in his voice.
I nodded.
‘You know I Любовь Ты Am. Ты know I do.’
‘I want to be alone. Please.’
‘Ok. My plane leaves at 7. I hope Ты know I’m sorry.’
I didn’t сказал(-а) a word until he closed the door and then I put my head phones and my head on the pillow. I turned the volume up trying to distract me from what had just happened but I could feel the tears fall down my cheek again.
The water covered my feet while I slowly walked on the пляж, пляжный trying to calm down. I should have got used to this but it still made my stomach twist every time it happened. I couldn’t help it. I cared too much, that’s the truth. I feared too much also. It was twilight. The sun was struggling to fight with the water which swallowed it every time, but that battle was lost. I sat down in my Избранное place here on the beach, under a palm дерево twice as old as I was. I felt безопасно, сейф here like the leaves of my old friend could protect me from everything. The warm breeze caressed my face and I closed my eyes trying not to think at all.
‘They’re fighting again.’
That was not a question, it was a statement which proves how well my best friend Katia knows me. I opened my eyes just in time to see her sitting right beside me.
‘Yeah…’ I murmured.
‘What is it now?’ she sighed.
‘I don’t know. I got out of the house as soon as I heard them screaming. I suppose it’s just the regular. My mom telling him how he is a irresponsible, lazy, good-for-nothing son. How he does nothing but painting. How this won’t get him anywhere. How my father would have wanted him to…’ My voice cracked. I wasn’t able to go on. Katia put her arms around me and although I wasn’t so comfortable with emotional hugs, I didn’t stop her. In some way I was grateful she was there.
‘It’s gonna be ok. You’ll see…’
I almost giggled. ‘I stopped telling that to myself a long time ago.’
We stood together in silence for another 10 minutes, neither of us feeling the need to talk. That was one good thing about our friendship. Then a silhouette blocked my view.
‘There Ты were Am. Come on, let’s go home.’
‘The show’s over?’ I asked my older brother Tyler raising an eyebrow.
He made an attempt to smile at me. ‘We’re good…’
‘I’m sure Ты are… till Далее time…’ I сказал(-а) but got up and looked at Katia. ‘I’ll see Ты tomorrow?’
‘Sure.’ She smiled.
We started walking towards our house. I was just wondering why he didn’t сказал(-а) anything until now when he cleared his voice.
‘Am Ты know Ты shouldn’t have run away like that. We were worried.’
‘Oh maybe Ты were. But please don’t make me think she was also.’
‘You have to stop thinking that. Ты have to stop thinking she doesn’t Любовь you. She is your mother and she may have made her mistakes but that doesn’t mean she does not Любовь you.’
‘Well she is your mother too.’ I frowned. ‘And please don’t tell me how much she loves you, ‘cause I’m not buying that shit.’
‘Amalie !’
‘Hey, Ты have to stop looking at me like I am 10 years old. I am 18 and I know how things are around here. She doesn’t give a shit. ‘
He looked at me and sighed.
‘You are right I always tend to forget Ты are practically a grown up now. But in time Ты will see I am right when I tell Ты she loves you.’
‘Yeah sure…’ I сказал(-а) skeptical.
We got into the house and I immediately went upstairs. I needed a bath and a good sleep. I heard my mother’s voice when she asked ‘Amalie?’ but I didn’t’ bother to answer. Like who else was there to be? I took off my sneakers and went into the bathroom. I turned on the water in the hot tub and while waiting for it to fill I looked in the mirror. I grimaced. The light in the bathroom made my skin look even еще pale than usual . And Ты would say that walking everyday on the пляж, пляжный would help me get tanned. I started to take my clothes off trying not to look at my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t stand to see how terrifying normal I was. In fact the only thing I like about myself are my green wide eyes. I don’t look at myself as being ugly, but not beautiful either. Katia was beautiful. She had long blonde hair, her traits were like sculpted in stone by a famous artist, she was tall and perfectly proportioned.I… well I was shorter than she was, I wasn’t extremely thin but my legs seemed to be very skinny in comparison with my whole body, I didn’t had any kind of shape, not even breasts. My hair was dark brown with some kind of red tone when in the sunlight. My traits were just… normal. The kind of traits Ты see every day. I could get Остаться в живых in a crowd any time. I got into the tub trying not to think about this any more. Not everybody has to be special right?
After I took a bath and brushed my teeth I put on my Избранное sleeping рубашка and shorts and got into постель, кровати with my Ipod. I was determined not to go down for dinner. One because I was really not hungry, секунда because I wasn’t excited to see my mom just yet. I barely managed to put my head phones when the door opened and Tyler got in.
‘I’m not hungry.’ I immediately said.
‘It’s not that. I…’ he seemed hesitant. ‘I wanted to talk to Ты about something.’
I raised an eyebrow.
‘If it’s about mom Ты can just drop it Ты know?’
‘It’s not about her. I mean it involves her also but it’s just my decision.’
I smiled at him. ‘Ok come on in, sit down’ I pointed at my bed.
He entered and sat Далее to me. He looked at my сделать ставку, ipod and asked:
‘What ‘cha listening to?’
I could see he was trying to delay telling me what he needed to.
‘Mm just the usual New Radicals, Copeland…’
‘Cool.’
‘What is it? What happened?’
My Вопрос took him by surprise so he took his time before answering. Finally he cleared his voice and said:
‘Am as Ты сказал(-а) Ты are old enough to understand all the things that are happening around here. Ты can see that our mother doesn’t agree with the fact that I decided to be a painter… and with a lot of other stuff about me also. We fight and we fight and I can see this affects Ты a lot. And I am sorry about that.’
‘It’s not your fault’ I gushed. ‘It’s only HER fault ! She should just leave Ты alone.’
‘I can’t say it’s only her fault Am. But we both think in a very different way. And now I realize it’s time for me to Переместить on.’
‘Move on? What do Ты mean by moving on?’
‘I thought a lot about this… and I got to the conclusion that I have to leave. I talked to a friend of mine from England and he is еще than happy to let me stay with him until I get on my feet.’
My eyes opened wide. ‘What do Ты mean leave? Leave when?’
‘Tomorrow Am. Tomorrow in the morning…’
I felt a little dizzy so I had impose myself not to hit my head against the вверх of the bed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe he was serious. But there he was, standing there telling me he is leaving to England tomorrow, telling me he is leaving me.
‘You Ты Ты have to be kidding me. How can you, how can Ты say that? How can Ты leave? No no , how can you…’ I was being incoherent and I knew it but I didn’t cared.
‘Am please calm down and listen to me.’
‘CALM DOWN? Ты don’t understand right? Ты don’t understand the only thing keeping me in this bloody house is you. That the only thing who made me still want to live with HER is you. Ты just don’t get it. Ты only care about yourself, Ты wanna go, get rid of her, start a new life and Ты don’t care that Ты are leaving me here. Ты don’t understand that when dad died Ты were my only comfort and Ты still are?’
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. All the pain and frustration I had inside me slipped. He took me in his arms but I shoved him away.
‘Don’t touch me. Go away. Go ahead and leave me.’
‘Am, I understand Ты are upset…’
‘You don’t understand a thing Tyler ! A THING !’
‘I understand еще than Ты think. But listen to me. Am please, just look at me. I am going there, that’s right. But I am not leaving you. I will come visit and I swear, as soon as I get some money to get my own place, I’ll come get Ты Am. I’ll come get you…’
I looked at him sobbing. I knew he was telling the truth but that didn’t calmed me down.
‘So Ты will come get me. But it could take years. YEARS Tyler. How do Ты think I can make it in here by myself?’
‘I will try to come get Ты as soon as I can…’ I could hear regret in his voice.
I nodded.
‘You know I Любовь Ты Am. Ты know I do.’
‘I want to be alone. Please.’
‘Ok. My plane leaves at 7. I hope Ты know I’m sorry.’
I didn’t сказал(-а) a word until he closed the door and then I put my head phones and my head on the pillow. I turned the volume up trying to distract me from what had just happened but I could feel the tears fall down my cheek again.
"Good by danny," I сказал(-а) Поцелуи him on the cheek one last time."we may not see each other again but I will remember you." for the past week danny and i have been dating on a crusie. (sorry spelling? my mind is not working today.)We both knew the день would come when we would not be able to see each other. Now it had come. I hugged him and walked down the gang plank.
4 months later
I went to the camp I had worked at for two years now. It was all so familar when I bummed into my best friend Max. He reminded me off Danny. But when ever I saw danny he reminded me of him. Was it max who I really liked and not danny? There's only one way to find out "max?" I сказал(-а) to him "What?" he said. "Da ya think we could..... like go to a movie или somthing?" "sure!" he said. And we had a great time.
4 months later
I went to the camp I had worked at for two years now. It was all so familar when I bummed into my best friend Max. He reminded me off Danny. But when ever I saw danny he reminded me of him. Was it max who I really liked and not danny? There's only one way to find out "max?" I сказал(-а) to him "What?" he said. "Da ya think we could..... like go to a movie или somthing?" "sure!" he said. And we had a great time.