After Patrick left, I had a restless night. I couldn’t sleep feeling that I’m a prisoner in those four walls in my room. I couldn’t sit quietly all night, nor slept for a brief moment. After all, Patrick’s visit was quite unexpected, and I wasn’t ready to see him that day. Also what was weird about his visit, that during all these two weeks he didn’t pay, not even a brief visit, to Robert’s house.
Wandering around my room with my pajama on, didn’t help me to sleep, nor comforted my restless mind. As I didn’t see him during these two weeks, I thought that those feelings I had towards him were gone, and his sudden appearance proved me wrong as a storm of Любовь and passion, was inside me at the moment I saw him standing beside Robert, recalling the moment I saw him in his house with his charming smile and irresistible attraction.
I couldn’t stay calm that night, feeling the room is getting smaller and I’m a helpless prisoner. I decided to go to Robert’s room and wake him up to take me somewhere out since it was one A.M. I went downstairs towards his room. I got into his room when I saw the door nearly opened.
“Hey, Robert” I whispered as I stepped closer to his bed, and he was turned to the other side, I gazed at him and he was sleeping so peacefully that I woke him up feeling slightly guilty. “Are Ты asleep Robert”
“Yes” He answered with low ton barley understood
“If Ты were asleep Ты wouldn’t answer” I сказал(-а) wickedly
“What do Ты want, Karen?” He sounded annoyed and didn’t turn around.
“I can’t sleep take me outside”
“Waite until tomorrow I’ll take Ты to Ema’s party” He сказал(-а) impatiently
“I don’t want to go to Ema’s boring party! I want to leave now!”
“You aren’t going to let me sleep unless I take Ты outside”
“No” I сказал(-а) wickedly
He turned around and сказал(-а) “You are like a stubborn wicked, little sister” Then he got up and сказал(-а) “Go get dressed I’ll take Ты outside или you’ll go wandering around in the streets and get caught and I’ll lose my job!”
“Yes” I whispered happily
As we got out, I thought he was going to take me somewhere by his car, but he didn’t. He took me round the house we walked through a small улица, уличный and then he settled in a place like a jungle that I felt myself out of the U.S for a second. It was a dark place full of trees and boshes. “Where are we?”I asked
“We are in a park. It’s not as big as Ты think it is. If Ты walk a little bit вперед you’ll find children’s games there.” He сказал(-а) pointing вперед “I used to meet Meredith here sometimes, it’s a nice place, Ты fee lout of the world for an час или so”
“It’s really nice, but it’s cold here”
“You should’ve brought some warm tea” He сказал(-а) with a delightful smile
“Yeah, yeah, yeah mock me!” I сказал(-а) rather playfully than annoyed
“This will be the only place Ты come besides Ema’s house of course. But be careful only with me and in the middle of the night.” Then he remembered his warm постель, кровати and my annoying interruption to his peaceful sleep and сказал(-а) “And I hope Ты don’t like coming here very much, или I won’t be able to sleep!”
“I’ll do my best”
We sat for a while on the wet трава and Robert seemed еще asleep than awake. But he had to say something so he doesn’t end up sleeping like a homeless person, in a park.
“Do Ты feel better now” He сказал(-а) calmly
“Yes I hate staying indoors for a long time”
He smiled a bit and сказал(-а) “Yes it appears that Ты don’t like indoors since Ты are quite comfortable with being a fugitive”
“I don’t like the fact that I’m a fugitive anymore than Ты do” I сказал(-а) dryly looking downwards as the conversation I expected it to happen, is happening
“But it wasn’t me who made Ты a fugitive, was I?” He сказал(-а) with a judgmental look in his eyes
“You are going to judge me too! Just like everyone else!”
“Karen” He сказал(-а) and his face was awake еще than a few минуты before “I waited for Ты to tell me what did Ты do, but all I got from Ты was avoiding the conversation или leaving the room, but I really do have the right to know!”
“I killed my husband, are Ты happy now?” I сказал(-а) that and rose on my feet “Yes I’m dangerous I know what Ты are thinking Ты now. I killed a man who is taller and stronger than Ты with cold blood. And I can walk into your room whenever I want and kill Ты guiltlessly”
I walked through the park to find myself near to the children games he’s talked about, and a fluid of tears in my eyes for an unknown reason.
“Karen” He сказал(-а) and followed me running to catch me and stand in front of me in a секунда “I didn’t mean to hurt Ты I didn’t know that it causes Ты pain to talk about it, I know I’m a fool. Sorry, please forgive me”
“It’s Ты who should forgive me. I should’ve told Ты and I had no right in exploding this way in your face.”
“I confess that Ты scared a bit when Ты сказал(-а) Ты can walk into my room someday and kill me guiltlessly. But no Karen Ты are a good person I’m sure Ты had your reasons and I don’t believe that Ты killed him with cold blood.”
“Yes Ты are right it wasn’t with cold blood”
“Let’s go back. I have to pick up Ellen early to school”
I followed him back unaware of what he just said, as I was sinking in my thoughts about the fact that I killed my husband with cold blood. No I thought, the truth came out of my mouth, I did kill him with cold blood! Maybe I wasn’t calm when I pushed the нож into his chest but now I have no feeling of guilt! I must be a terrible person! I suddenly stopped from moving as I just realized how cruel and heartless I was. Robert turned worriedly and said
“Are Ты ok?”
I pulled myself together and сказал(-а) “Yes I’m ok”
We went back to the house without a word. I felt like there’s something wrong and I determinate to tell Patrick about why I killed him as soon as I see him “I don’t want him to hate me” I whispered as I laid on my постель, кровати “I have to deviance myself and prove him that the man wasn’t a good man” then I went to sleep.
I woke up the Далее morning at seven A.M. “It’s early” I сказал(-а) then got out of the room walked towards the bathroom. As I brushed my teeth I saw the after-shave cream opened. Again Robert I thought then closed it nervously remembering that unlikeable habit that my husband had, except that he used to leave his shaving cream opened. I heard someone’s footsteps in the kitchen. I got out of the bathroom and walked to the кухня where I saw Robert making coffee “Oh Robert! Ты are awake!” I сказал(-а) astonished
“Yes, I have to pick up Ellen to school, I told Ты last night!” He сказал(-а) without looking at me while he was preparing his mug.
“Oh, yes, sorry I forgot”
“Never mind, what are Ты doing so early?” He сказал(-а) and then poured coffee for him and for me then moved вперед and gave me the mug. I looked at it for a секунда then remembered that Robert сказал(-а) that Ema nearly fired him, why would he go there unless Ema comes and yell at him?!
“You сказал(-а) Ты Остаться в живых your job yesterday!”
“Yes I did, I was a fool! Never mind that incident. Mr. Widmore was here yesterday about that, he сказал(-а) that Ema was upset when she had to drive herself to all her appointments and for having to take Ellen to school and take her back Главная on the expense of canceling one of her appointments”
He sat down on the big диван, мягкий уголок and I sat near the window as usual then I smiled with mockery and сказал(-а) “I told Ты so!”
He smiled and сказал(-а) “Yes play this game! After all it turns out that Ты are right, Mr. Widmore сказал(-а) that she didn’t care but she was upset because it surprised her and that Meredith didn’t tell her while she trusted her so much. So that look wasn’t for me” I smiled again and he сказал(-а) trying to avoid my mockery “I really should go, take care” Then he stood and went to his job, leaving me all alone again.
Two hours passed and I knew Robert wasn’t coming early. All I did was sitting beside that window which became my best friends. Knowing all my secrets and keeping them. What should I do? Ema сказал(-а) her cousin is too much in Любовь with Paris that she doesn’t expect him to come back before another two weeks. All I can do is wait she сказал(-а) as if it was easy for me to wait.
The door suddenly knocked. I was frightened, no one ever visited Robert , not that time when all his Друзья know he is out, and if it some one of his friends, they have no idea I’m here. I walked slowly вперед to the front door, and looked through the magical eye of the door, to see Patrick is the one who is outside. I put my hand on the handle then hesitated for a moment, what if he wants to see Robert and is quite uncomfortable when he see me, I thought, but he knows that Robert probably wouldn’t be here, and I can’t just let him wait forever. I pulled myself together and opened the door.
“Hi” I сказал(-а) with a shaky voice
“Hi” He answered calmly with his face almost without any emotions
“Come on in, Robert isn’t home, I think Ты know that” He got in and sat down without a word. My hands were shaking and I sat way too far from him. Then I tried to say lightly
“Do Ты want some coffee или сок или whatever?”
“No, I didn’t come to drink anything” He сказал(-а) calmly “Set down I want to talk to you” He demanded. I sat in front of him again near to the window, while he sat in the same place Robert used to set. When I saw him calm, I started to calm too.
“So…” I сказал(-а) “What is it?
“I want to know why? Why Ты killed him” He сказал(-а) without looking at me and keeping the same ton level
“Before I tell Ты why, I need to know why Ты want to know so badly. What difference does it make I killed the man and that is it” All the determination I had the night before faded away when I saw, and was afraid of telling him anything.
“Ok I’ll tell Ты why. Because I like you” Then his calm voice became еще angry like he couldn’t control his feelings any еще “And I need to know that Ты are a good person and the man deserves to die. I need Ты to tell me that he was about to kill Ты или he used to beat you, until blood comes out of your ears! Because I can’t stand the idea of Ты being a bad person.
Because the Karen I knew was the most honorable person I’ve met.” He rose to his feet and walked nervously through the living room. He stopped in front of me then sat on the wooden таблица in front of me and сказал(-а) with his calm ton “Now it’s your turn”
I couldn’t find my voice first, and then I was trying to pick the words carefully, I сказал(-а) nervously “He …. He wasn’t an honorable man.”
“That’s why Ты killed him!” His face was pointed to the floor that I couldn’t read his expressions but from his voice which was very calm and cool
“No, of course not! I knew from день one that he was cheating on me, that he wasn’t faithful. But I could keep myself calm \, even when he yelled at me, and when he used to beat me when he comes back in the middle of the night drunk. But I wasn’t complaining. Maybe because I was too much in Любовь with him, или because he saved my life that I felt I owed him something, или because I felt so lonely before we got married.” Then tears started to come out of my eyes “But I couldn’t stand the pain when I went once from work and saw him setting in our house, with my best friend in his arms, planning to run away. He didn’t notice me since I got into the house from the backdoor, and my friend left a few секунды after my arrival. I was in the kitchen, and he followed me, he сказал(-а) cruelly, mocking from my feelings, Ты heard everything; good I don’t have to explain anything. I started to lose control, he Остаться в живых his job because he used to go too damn drunk that he can’t do anything. So I сказал(-а) it’s fine I’ll find a job, working день and night just to let him eat and drink. So, I took the нож and pushed it into his chest, yelling I hate you. Ты arrogant, selfish, bestirred. And then, I realized what I did, and left his soulless body in the кухня and ran away.”The tears were like a rain out of my eyes. I didn’t see Patrick’s reaction as he stood and moved to the couch, then he walked to the front door, wanted to get out, but he stopped beside it and сказал(-а) “Maybe he wasn’t an honorable man, but it isn’t Ты who should punish him, it’s not your right, Ты could’ve left and then live in peace. But jealousy blinded you. Karen, I hope Ты feel guilty, because no matter what he did to you, Ты have no right for punishing him”
Although his face looked very angry his ton was calm. He left, leaving me thinking of what he said. I’m not a good person then, because I don’t feel guilt, but I should be feeling guilty, indeed I should.