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posted by randomgirl3000
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.

• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.

• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL

• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.

• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.

• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink Ты have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.

• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it

• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.

• If Ты accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.

• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.

• Make bug bites stop itching with a банан peel.

• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.

• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the link with link

• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.

• Pick a flavor of gum Ты don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.

• Place a piece of хлеб in a container with your homemade печенье and they will stay soft.

• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.

• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.

• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every день before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.

• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, Ты won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and Ты won’t either.

• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.

• The night before, place things Ты don’t want to forget the Далее morning on вверх of your shoes.

• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.

• When cleaning windows use newspapers или coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.

• When microwaving хлеб products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your хлеб from going spongy.

• When Ты Переместить into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on Facebook (privately if preferred) so Ты can use the reference дата as proof Ты didn’t do it.

• When searching plane tickets online Удалить your печенье prior, prices go up when Ты visit a site multiple times.
added by BlackMist1
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: icanrelate
added by NicoDiAngelo4
Source: google(:
added by yukikiyruu
added by r-pattz
Source: oddee.com
added by fatoshleo
added by aitypw
added by zanhar1
added by dxarmy423
added by r-pattz
Source: snorgtees
added by 7things
posted by nmdis
"Naturally"


Did it seem
To disappoint you
Living alone?
By the banks
Of your dilemma
Out of control
No one seems
To give the answers
That Ты wanna hear
What you'd give
To find a welcome here

Miles and miles of lies
Behind you
Those were the days
So many lives
You'd hope would guide you
Help Ты find a way
Now it seems to your surprise
That they left Ты lying here
What you'd give to dry
These горький tears

Did it come naturally?
Ты a million miles from home
When Ты tried so carefully
To live a life
That's not your own
Always remember
That it wasn't that long ago
I stilled the oceans
I moved...
continue reading...
1. Dick Trickle

A NASCAR driver that sounds like he has symptoms of prostate problems. Yeah, this one definitely deserves the вверх spot on the list.

2. Rusty Kuntz
If he were a girl, it would possibly be number one on the list; nobody would want to mess with her.

3. Grant Balfour
Grant means “to give” and ball four represents a walk in baseball. Not exactly the best name for this Oakland A’s pitcher.

4. Pete LaCock
The capitalization of this name just makes it even worse. He gets the double whammy on the first and last name

5. Guy Whimper
He is a 6’5’’, 300lbs. offensive tackle for the Jacksonville...
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Most of these phrases were once funny and not at all annoying. Then newfags just have to come along and start using and abusing them.

And some were already shitty and annoying to begin with.

Once great phrases turned annoying

Cool story bro

сука please

Y U NO

U mad?

Trolololololo

True story

20% Cooler

Phrases that were already annoying to begin with

YOLO

Pie

X people are Y (youtube)

First

X people missed the like button(youtube again)

le
1.Stand Далее to a bathroom, stroking a soap bottle while saying: "It's okay my darling, we will get out soon".

2.Sniff every type of cheese in the aisle.

3.When somebody walks by you, stare at them with
BIG eyes.

4.Squirt every type of perfume Ты can find.

5.When in the bathroom,scream as loud as Ты can.

6.Tickle yourself in front of the toilet scrubbers.

7.Hop like a frog around the store.

8.Get a glowing pen and act like Ты are scanning the молоко and say:"We shall see".

9.Act like a detective, trying to find the missing Whipped Cream Monster.

10.Put on a юбка and do yoga in the middle of the store....
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posted by lanydoodle
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as Ты walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at Ты for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
continue reading...
posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect Ты from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life Ты wore heavy mittens. If Ты dial a phone, try to use a remote control, или try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything Ты see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Don't care about her feelings.
2. Don't allow her to go out without your permission.
3. Your friends, the game, and your video games are еще important than her.
4. She needs to get Ты Еда while Ты sit and do whatever Ты want.
5. Call her a "whore" and a "bitch".
6. Beat her when she's not obeying you.
7. Never reply to her texts. Remember, you're "busy".
8. хлопать, привкус her жопа, попка and grab her boobs.
9. Never tell her that Ты Любовь her.
10. She pays for dinner, not you.
11. Force her to have sex with you.
12. She's pregnant? Break up with her. Переместить somewhere far, far away.
13. Never use a condom, even if...
continue reading...
posted by Caligirl2011
So open up your iTunes или Музыка player and put it on shuffle! Let it play and for everysong.. It makes a life story!!

1. Waking up song..........
2. Going to school song.......
3. Seeing a boy/girl Ты like song......
4. Enemy song.......
5. день song.........
6. Going to sleep song...
7. Friend song.......
8. Fight song.....
9. Hook up song.......
10. Любовь song.....
11. Break up song.......
12. Make up song......
13. Wedding song...
14. Honeymoonsong.....
15. Baby song......
16. Family song.....
17. Death song.......
18. Funeral dong