1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If Ты don't straighten up, I'm going to knock Ты into the middle of Далее week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I сказал(-а) so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If Ты fall out of that свинг, качели and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure Ты wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give Ты something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will Ты look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that шпинат is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told Ты once, I've told Ты a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought Ты into this world, and I can take Ты out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop Актёрское искусство like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like Ты do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when Ты get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If Ты don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't Ты think I know when Ты are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If Ты don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do Ты think Ты were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When Ты get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One день you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”