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(I never got around to finishing this and I doubt I ever would've. It's a shame that my laziness got to me because this was actually pretty good in my eyes. Oh well, hope Ты enjoy what's in here right now. XD)

(This is a parody of the famous Dr. Seuss book named "The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book" that I worked on around 2 months ago.)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…..

Whoops, wrong series. GODDAMNIT!

Anyways, it was a peaceful and sunny день in the town of Cityville, (I’m serious. XD) When all of a sudden….

……

When all of a sudden……

…..

I SAID, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!

FINALLY! :D

I mean, it was Marvin The Martian! Right the f**k out of nowhere!

BECAUSE WHY NOT!? :D

He was a beeline for Cityville! Quick, somebody do something!

…..

ANYONE ALIVE ON THIS PLANET DO ANYTHING или WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! >.<

…..

God I hate being the narrator.

Marvin: Greetings earthlings! It is I, Marvin Th-

Marvin: Where is everyone? @___@

Actually, that’s a good question.

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

Marvin: What in the name of Melmacian culture was that!?

Oh no, I sense a song coming…..

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. :D

Marvin: Where AM I!? @__@

We’re kinda sorta… Sorta kinda…..

In a Dr. Seuss story called The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book.

Marvin: ……… (Too many dots in this fan-fiction!)

Marvin: Well, we’re screwed.

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

At least now I realize why nobody’s even here, we’re the ONLY ones in this area, the others are over there.

Me: ♫On the other side of the wall!♫ XD

Marvin: Well, at least have the courtesy to tell me what’s going to happen! или else I’ll get out every weapon I have….

♫Butter side down! :D♫

Those red-dressed people over there like putting масло, сливочное масло side down when they eat toast, and we like масло, сливочное масло side up. We’re also dressed in blue.

Marvin: SERIOUSLY!? We’re starting a war over BREAD!?

Not just any хлеб war Marvin, this is the battle…..

Me: ♫FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL!♫ ^___^

Marvin: Whatever, I’ll annihilate them in two seconds! What could possibly go wrong?

Kyros: ♫Butter side down!♫ >:D

Are Ты freaking KIDDING ME!?

Далее time somebody says that I’ll go Mortal Kombat on them. >.<

Kyros: ♫The idiots on that side… They give me a frown. I mean, they don’t eat with the масло, сливочное масло side down!♫

Marvin: ♫Au Contraire, Ты don’t even care! You’re just morons who don’t eat right, living in despair!♫

Oh this is gonna be good. :D

Kyros: Let’s skip the singing, we’re starting a war. Each of us has one день to make a weapon and at exactly 5:00 P.M, we’ll fight with them and see who wins. There’s going to be three fights total, and the winner with the most fights won gets……

Kyros: ♫The other side of the wall!♫

Kyros: So, deal? >:)

Marvin: What if we refuse?

Kyros: Then I’ll have a good dinner….. Haha, HAHAHAH!!!!!

Marvin: Accursed earthlings! Well, now what Jared?

Who, me? I’m not even a character, I’m the narrator! >:D

Marvin: THAT’S IT! I’M NOT FIGHTING ALONE, GET OVER HERE! *Drags me into the book*

Jared: Well, that’s what happens when Ты push your luck. Also, I’m surprised Ты didn’t make a скорпион reference there! :D

Marvin: Really Jared? -___- Also, wasn’t there armies for BOTH sides in the book?

Jared: I didn’t even know Ты DID read the book. And yes, there was. But they, uh….

Jared: I have no idea what happened to them. Maybe they died, who knows. I mean, it’s not like they’re having a party.

The Entire Blue Population: YEAH! WHOO! PASS ME THE WHISKEY! ^____^

Jared: Well this is great, NOW who’s going to narrate the story? Hmm…..

Jared: How about Kirby? He’s a good narrator!

Marvin: Uh, sure I guess. :P

Kirby: Bio bio! ^___^

Jared: Эй, Kirby, use this mike to speak clearer!

Kirby: *Transforms into Mike Kirby*

Kirby: *Blows everything up*

Jared: OH GOD!!!! QUICK, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

Marvin: *Shoots teleportation пушка at Kirby* There we go, he shouldn’t bother us anymore.

Jared: Great! I wonder where he went….

Entire Blue Population: OH GOD MY EARS!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

Marvin: One last thing before we start building the weapon, my teleportation пушка is only in an alpha state, so there might be a few….. Glitches with it.

Jared: Alrighty! :D Besides, who needs narrators anyways?

Marvin: Well, we better get to work if we want to win. So, Ты have any ideas for weapons?

Jared: NAPALM FLAMETHROWER! AN602 HYDROGEN TSAR BOMB! TESLA CANNON! :D

Marvin: Alright then, let’s get to work!

*One Eternity Later*

Marvin: We’ve finally finished the Tesla Cannon, and it looks absolutely extravagant! What do Ты think Jared?

Jared: OW MY FINGEEERRRRR!!!! >.<

Marvin: This’ll make a great weapon for round one, we can’t lose!

Marvin: So, we have plenty of time left, what do Ты want to talk about?

Jared: How about why the heck anybody would want to eat butter-side DOWN!? SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT!? IT’S LIKE PUTTING THE PEPPER ON THE SIDES OF EGGS, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! THE масло, сливочное масло WILL FALL ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND IT’S AS STUPID AS Ты CAN GET!

Marvin: Wasn’t aware you’d go Nostalgia Critic on me there. Well, let’s take the weapon to the battlefield! FOR CITYVILLE!

Nonexistent Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall…..

Red Person: HOW THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO BEAT A TESLA CANNON!?

Other Red Person: We should call Kyros!

Yet Another Red Person: We should make an even better weapon!

Patrick: WE SHOULD TAKE BIKINI BOTTOM, AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!

*Silence*

Yet ANOTHER Red Person: How the heck did PATRICK get in here?

YET ANOTHER FREAKING RED PERSON: It’s a Dr. Seuss story, why are we even questioning this?

*I hope Ты enjoyed that pointless advance in the story*

*Now back to the other side of the wall*

Marvin: It’s 4:45, I wonder what they’re doing? Well, all we can do is wait and hope we win.

Jared: *Makes a grilled cheese with the Tesla cannon* YUMMY! ^___^

Marvin: Hmm….. I hear something approaching us.

Kyros: Guess who? >:)

Jared: Dinkleberg….

Jared: I mean, uh, Kyros…..

Marvin: So, where’s your weapon? I don’t really see it.

Kyros: Look beyond what Ты see….. (Really? I’m ripping off The Lion King now? XD)

*Ground shakes*

*We’re screwed*

*Give my regards to Broadway*

*Brace for impact*

*Stop it Jared*

Marvin: Oh no! It’s UNDER us!?

Jared: WHAT DO WE DO!?

Jared: WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA!

Marvin: WHAT IS IT!?

(And I stopped here. I didn't finish this because I got lazy, sorry. If I get enough positive feedback maybe I will continue this, but for now, that's not happening. Hope Ты enjoyed regardless of that. XD)

(Seriously though, I really had something going here. I was planning a bunch of cool twists, funny jokes, and even an epic rap battle at the end! I even finished it as well, so if Ты want to see that, let me know.)

(Again, I'm really sorry I didn't finish this. Oh well, lazyitis gets the best of all of us every now and then. :P)
It was the first time Damon and Bonnie saw each other since Bonnie had ‘cured” Damon.
“Caroline’s not home” Bonnie said, a little distant.
“I’m not here for Caroline” Damon replied. “I need to talk to you”
“Okay” Bonnie frowned. “Come in”
Damon entered the house and Bonnie guided him to the kitchen. Sheriff Forbes wasn’t home.
“What, eh,…what do Ты need to talk about?” Bonnie asked slightly nervous.
“Do Ты know a guy named Keith?” Damon asked, as he sat down, following Bonnie’s example.
Bonnie nodded. She didn’t see why she would deny it. “Yeah,...
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Kelsey’s body dropped on the floor and Damon appeared with her сердце in his hand.
“You killed her” Stefan said.
“You’re welcome” Damon said.
“You shouldn’t have done that” Stefan said. “I deserved to die”
“You’re welcome” Damon repeated now pissed. Stefan’s ingratitude annoyed him immense. His ripper mood didn’t appeal to Damon, not anymore. But neither did he have to go back to his holier than the pope days.
“You always do this. Ты face a problem Ты can’t handle and so Ты eliminate the problem” Stefan said.
Damon lifted up the body and threw it over his...
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“Get me another one of this golden stuff” Alaric сказал(-а) lifting his glass. The bartender, who was cleaning some glasses, shook his head. “I think you’ve had quite enough” “Oh, come on” Alaric groaned. “I’m the customer here. I’m paying” He got out some money. “What does it cost, I’m paying Ты double” He threw the money on the bar.
“If Ты have too much of it, Ты can always give it to me” a familiar voice said. Alaric looked aside and saw Damon. “You’re drinking Bourbon? Without me? Shame on you” He signed with his hand, pointing at Alaric’s glass and...
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Katherine was in the kitchen, making dinner. или at least she attempted to. She hadn’t been cooking since…well, this was the first time. She tried to open a bin, but the thing to open it was so stupid.
“Goddamn it!” she cursed and she smashed the bin against the wall. “Why can’t we have blood like normal vampires?” she yelled.
“Because I feel like eating American food” Stefan сказал(-а) being annoying. “So better get it ready, already”
He was sitting on the диван, мягкий уголок with Rebekah who kept giving him secret stares. One time she didn’t look away fast enough. “What’s your deal?...
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I tried to be differnt, and it worked.
All my life I have always blended into the atmosphere and the people around me. I was nothing special. I was ordinary.
My chance to be different and my chance to be free came with a cost... one I was sure I was willing to take.

"Turn away from the past, and follow me." were the words I recieved.

"Do Ты want to be different?" He asked me, and of course what sliped out of my mouth was a simple,
"Yes." But was I going to follow through with what he had in store for me?

Based on the hit series Twilight comes a new romantic twist...
One Way или Another
created by Emma
(emruking)
Daphne took his hand. “I don’t want to lose you. Ты have to stay with me forever” she insisted.
Cas nodded, not really considering what she was saying.
“Emmanuel, I want Ты to make me your wife” Daphne сказал(-а) breathless.


Zoey and Shannen were sitting at the кухня таблица in Zoey’s house. “I’m glad Ты came” Zoey said.“
Yeah, sure” Shannen said. “I meant what I said. I’ll do what I can to help you”
“Thank you” Zoey said. “I really don’t trust Emmanuel, but I promised Daphne I’d give him the benefit of the doubt”
“I get it” Shannen said. “What do Ты want me to do?”
“I want Ты to follow him, take pictures of him, maybe even film him” Zoey said.
“I don’t think that’s legal”” Shannen сказал(-а) careful.
“If he hurts my daughter it won’t be legal, either” Zoey snapped and Shannen cringed.
“All right, I’ll do it” Shannen agreed reluctantly.
posted by Twilight-girl-x
Hello, this is a story im wrting carrying on from where Дж. К. Роулинг left of after the war before the 19 Years later. This is not the full first chapter only what i have written so far- if i get enough feedback then I will eventually put the full chapter up when it is finnished and then I will put the new chapters on when they are finnished. Thank you- Here it is......



Ginny was sat on the bench in the great Hall, lent against her Mother who sat at her side, the last of her tears rolled down her cheeks. Looking down the таблица to where her Brother Ron sat with Hermione, their heads close together,...
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A sharp siring pain struck my stomach; I froze tight as stone grasping at my stomach. The pain was unbelievably unbearable. I wasn’t able to breathe it just made the pain ten times worse. My eyes were pinched tight, tighter then when I jumped off the bleachers in the high school gym a few years back.
The thought about that whole night made me cringe making the pain worst. That night was one of the worst nights of my life; something I hope will never have to be brought up ever again.
Patch and I were sitting on the диван, мягкий уголок watching TV after our one o’clock lunch. My legs had been flung on top...
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Chapter 1:A twist of fate!

XxXxX-Konoha, October 10th-12 years ago

It was a warm summer evening within the village of Konoha,and it had an odd calming effect on the people.There was still many people bustling about despite the fact the sun had set several hours ago.Minato stood,or rather paced,frantically around in his office.He kept glancing impatiently at the door,then to the walls,then the door again,in an endless cycle of anxiety that had been going on for hours."Kushina should be here yourself together!"

Minato berated himself,attempting to calm his nerves."I can't let her see me like this,or...
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 Just to Показать Ты not everybody is a demented satanic pervert, :D
Just to show you not everybody is a demented satanic pervert, :D
(Some viewers may find this a little raunchy, viewer discretion kind of advised.)
And count how many times I mention Jello. :D

Hello Zello Yellow Mellow I Любовь Jello Everybody! (WOW FIRST SENTENCE!) Today I am reviewing a GOOD Fanfiction, and will teach Ты how to make one CORRECTLY. (You listening to this TrueBlueTeam? Dry Bones? Good.)

Seriously though guys, I really do Любовь this Fanfiction, and I really do Любовь Jello.

The Fanfiction makes clever funny references to the show, has plenty of logic, sanity, and Фэнтези in it, the Fanfiction is funny, and does many things right.

But Ты probably...
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Damon poured himself a glass of бурбон and drank it out. He spit it out.
“Yeah, I put vervain in all your drinks” a familiar voice said. Damon turned around and saw Katherine standing in the doorway of the living room. “I told Ты Ты had to drink vervain again. I thought Elena would’ve convinced Ты by now”
Damon looked away.
“That’s right. Trouble in paradise” Katherine said. “If I were Ты I’d try really hard to make things okay. We don’t want her to run back to Stefan, do we?”
Damon looked up angry. “She wouldn’t do that. Elena isn’t like that. I just…need to...
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“How is he?” Derek asked as soon as Damon and Elena entered the Boarding House.
“I’m right here” Damon said. He walked to the диван, мягкий уголок and sank down. Elena sat down Далее to him and looked at Derek. “Hey, could Ты go and get some blood”
“Yeah, sure” Derek nodded and he rushed to the basement.
“You feeling better?” Elena asked concerned, taking Damon’s hand.
“I’m fine” Damon сказал(-а) short. “Why were Ты in the hospital?”
Elena looked away. Then she looked back. “Who told Ты that?”
“Who do Ты think?” Damon smirked. “He told me not to come, but I’m a little...
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“What do Ты mean, she’s gone?”
Cas and Zoey had been told that Daphne was gone.
“She’s not in her room. But we’re searching the entire building and the neighborhood. She can’t get far” the head doctor said.
“How could this happen?” Zoey asked mad. “Don’t Ты have some kind of security system here?”
“She украл, палантин a badge. She didn’t have to break into the system. She could just open the door” the doctor explained.
“And who’s the idiot who let her steal his badge?” Zoey asked demeaning.
“He’s waiting in my office” the doctor answered. “He already told me what happened. Listen, Mrs. Moore, Daphne can’t get far. We’ll find her by the end of the night”
He walked away from them; he had to go огонь the nurse.
Zoey looked at Cas. “We need to find her” she said, slightly panicking.
Cas forced Shannen against the Стена and kissed her hard on the lips, while Shannen unbuttoned his shirt. Cas put his left hand behind Shannen’s neck while his other hand slipped underneath her dress. She wasn’t wearing a bra. He lay his hand on her breast and massaged her nipple.
Shannen slipped her right hand in his pants and started jerking him off again. Cas removed his hands and removed Shannen’s clothes and took off his shirt. He lifted Shannen off the ground and she threw her legs around his waist. He walked her to the постель, кровати and lay her down.
“I think I need something” Cas said....
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“That’s enough” Bonnie сказал(-а) and Damon stopped feeding. Bonnie was so kind to wipe the blood of his chin. “I understand what Elena’s sees in you. I mean, Ты are hot”
“Leave Elena out of this” Damon muttered.
“Yeah, I wish I could, but the thing is, Ты are connected to her” Bonnie said. “No, not in a related kind of way. You’re not family. But her сердце beats for the two of Ты and she, the real Elena, will come back for you. Stefan will keep her away for a while, but eventually she will come look for Ты and find you”
“I don’t want her to see me like this” Damon...
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Kelsey threw down the shovel when her phone rang. Without looking at the screen she pressed cancel.
“How long are Ты going to keep avoiding me?”
Kelsey turned around and looked at Derek, who put away his phone. “Until Ты get it in your thick skull that I don’t want to talk to you”
“We have to talk” Derek said.
“I just buried my sister” Kelsey сказал(-а) emotional. “I had to leave her last night, because I was turning and now I can’t even дана her a proper funeral. I just put her in the ground, like a dog”
“I’m sorry” Derek said. “I feel terrible about it. Amber was...
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added by HaleyDewit
Source: homeofthenutty+picnik
Elena entered the Grill and walked to a table. She was going to meet Damon there.
“Hey”
She looked up at Stefan. “Hi” she сказал(-а) uncomfortable. They hadn’t really spoken since she had declared her Любовь for Damon.
“Can I sit with you?” Stefan asked careful. Feeling it would be impolite to reject Elena nodded. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there last night. Caroline told me she was giving a party to celebrate Ты and…Damon”
“It’s okay, Stefan, it wasn’t that big of a deal” Elena said.
“I just thought it would be weird” Stefan explained. “After all that happened I’m not...
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Covered in nothing but a towel Stefan opened the door of Alaric’s loft in which he lived for the time being. There were two women standing in the doorway, one being the selfish vampire slut that had changed him and his brother, the other being a blonde girl he had not seen before yet somehow she looked familiar, as if she belonged to a part of his past he had tried so hard to bury he had forgotten it.
“Good morning, Stefan” Katherine said. “Won’t Ты invite us in?”
“Give me a reason” Stefan smirked.
“Because Ты Любовь me” Katherine сказал(-а) obvious and a glare of annoyance flashed...
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Dragon Ball Z Фан fiction.

Chapter 1: No Royal Road to Peace

"Where is he, Vegeta?" Гоку charged. His nemesis stood not еще than twenty feet away, clad in regal garments and with an air of arrogant nobility about him. The larger warrior tightened his muscles until the veins in his arms looked ready to burst.

"What are Ты talking about, Kakarott?” inquired the royal. “What the hell are Ты doing here?" The guards protectively surrounding the Prince of the Saiyans did not take their eyes off of the intruder for a split-second.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about, Vegeta! Ты had no right...
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