FanFiction.net Club
Присоединиться
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
(I never got around to finishing this and I doubt I ever would've. It's a shame that my laziness got to me because this was actually pretty good in my eyes. Oh well, hope Ты enjoy what's in here right now. XD)

(This is a parody of the famous Dr. Seuss book named "The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book" that I worked on around 2 months ago.)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…..

Whoops, wrong series. GODDAMNIT!

Anyways, it was a peaceful and sunny день in the town of Cityville, (I’m serious. XD) When all of a sudden….

……

When all of a sudden……

…..

I SAID, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!

FINALLY! :D

I mean, it was Marvin The Martian! Right the f**k out of nowhere!

BECAUSE WHY NOT!? :D

He was a beeline for Cityville! Quick, somebody do something!

…..

ANYONE ALIVE ON THIS PLANET DO ANYTHING или WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! >.<

…..

God I hate being the narrator.

Marvin: Greetings earthlings! It is I, Marvin Th-

Marvin: Where is everyone? @___@

Actually, that’s a good question.

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

Marvin: What in the name of Melmacian culture was that!?

Oh no, I sense a song coming…..

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. :D

Marvin: Where AM I!? @__@

We’re kinda sorta… Sorta kinda…..

In a Dr. Seuss story called The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book.

Marvin: ……… (Too many dots in this fan-fiction!)

Marvin: Well, we’re screwed.

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

At least now I realize why nobody’s even here, we’re the ONLY ones in this area, the others are over there.

Me: ♫On the other side of the wall!♫ XD

Marvin: Well, at least have the courtesy to tell me what’s going to happen! или else I’ll get out every weapon I have….

♫Butter side down! :D♫

Those red-dressed people over there like putting масло, сливочное масло side down when they eat toast, and we like масло, сливочное масло side up. We’re also dressed in blue.

Marvin: SERIOUSLY!? We’re starting a war over BREAD!?

Not just any хлеб war Marvin, this is the battle…..

Me: ♫FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL!♫ ^___^

Marvin: Whatever, I’ll annihilate them in two seconds! What could possibly go wrong?

Kyros: ♫Butter side down!♫ >:D

Are Ты freaking KIDDING ME!?

Далее time somebody says that I’ll go Mortal Kombat on them. >.<

Kyros: ♫The idiots on that side… They give me a frown. I mean, they don’t eat with the масло, сливочное масло side down!♫

Marvin: ♫Au Contraire, Ты don’t even care! You’re just morons who don’t eat right, living in despair!♫

Oh this is gonna be good. :D

Kyros: Let’s skip the singing, we’re starting a war. Each of us has one день to make a weapon and at exactly 5:00 P.M, we’ll fight with them and see who wins. There’s going to be three fights total, and the winner with the most fights won gets……

Kyros: ♫The other side of the wall!♫

Kyros: So, deal? >:)

Marvin: What if we refuse?

Kyros: Then I’ll have a good dinner….. Haha, HAHAHAH!!!!!

Marvin: Accursed earthlings! Well, now what Jared?

Who, me? I’m not even a character, I’m the narrator! >:D

Marvin: THAT’S IT! I’M NOT FIGHTING ALONE, GET OVER HERE! *Drags me into the book*

Jared: Well, that’s what happens when Ты push your luck. Also, I’m surprised Ты didn’t make a скорпион reference there! :D

Marvin: Really Jared? -___- Also, wasn’t there armies for BOTH sides in the book?

Jared: I didn’t even know Ты DID read the book. And yes, there was. But they, uh….

Jared: I have no idea what happened to them. Maybe they died, who knows. I mean, it’s not like they’re having a party.

The Entire Blue Population: YEAH! WHOO! PASS ME THE WHISKEY! ^____^

Jared: Well this is great, NOW who’s going to narrate the story? Hmm…..

Jared: How about Kirby? He’s a good narrator!

Marvin: Uh, sure I guess. :P

Kirby: Bio bio! ^___^

Jared: Эй, Kirby, use this mike to speak clearer!

Kirby: *Transforms into Mike Kirby*

Kirby: *Blows everything up*

Jared: OH GOD!!!! QUICK, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

Marvin: *Shoots teleportation пушка at Kirby* There we go, he shouldn’t bother us anymore.

Jared: Great! I wonder where he went….

Entire Blue Population: OH GOD MY EARS!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

Marvin: One last thing before we start building the weapon, my teleportation пушка is only in an alpha state, so there might be a few….. Glitches with it.

Jared: Alrighty! :D Besides, who needs narrators anyways?

Marvin: Well, we better get to work if we want to win. So, Ты have any ideas for weapons?

Jared: NAPALM FLAMETHROWER! AN602 HYDROGEN TSAR BOMB! TESLA CANNON! :D

Marvin: Alright then, let’s get to work!

*One Eternity Later*

Marvin: We’ve finally finished the Tesla Cannon, and it looks absolutely extravagant! What do Ты think Jared?

Jared: OW MY FINGEEERRRRR!!!! >.<

Marvin: This’ll make a great weapon for round one, we can’t lose!

Marvin: So, we have plenty of time left, what do Ты want to talk about?

Jared: How about why the heck anybody would want to eat butter-side DOWN!? SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT!? IT’S LIKE PUTTING THE PEPPER ON THE SIDES OF EGGS, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! THE масло, сливочное масло WILL FALL ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND IT’S AS STUPID AS Ты CAN GET!

Marvin: Wasn’t aware you’d go Nostalgia Critic on me there. Well, let’s take the weapon to the battlefield! FOR CITYVILLE!

Nonexistent Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall…..

Red Person: HOW THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO BEAT A TESLA CANNON!?

Other Red Person: We should call Kyros!

Yet Another Red Person: We should make an even better weapon!

Patrick: WE SHOULD TAKE BIKINI BOTTOM, AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!

*Silence*

Yet ANOTHER Red Person: How the heck did PATRICK get in here?

YET ANOTHER FREAKING RED PERSON: It’s a Dr. Seuss story, why are we even questioning this?

*I hope Ты enjoyed that pointless advance in the story*

*Now back to the other side of the wall*

Marvin: It’s 4:45, I wonder what they’re doing? Well, all we can do is wait and hope we win.

Jared: *Makes a grilled cheese with the Tesla cannon* YUMMY! ^___^

Marvin: Hmm….. I hear something approaching us.

Kyros: Guess who? >:)

Jared: Dinkleberg….

Jared: I mean, uh, Kyros…..

Marvin: So, where’s your weapon? I don’t really see it.

Kyros: Look beyond what Ты see….. (Really? I’m ripping off The Lion King now? XD)

*Ground shakes*

*We’re screwed*

*Give my regards to Broadway*

*Brace for impact*

*Stop it Jared*

Marvin: Oh no! It’s UNDER us!?

Jared: WHAT DO WE DO!?

Jared: WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA!

Marvin: WHAT IS IT!?

(And I stopped here. I didn't finish this because I got lazy, sorry. If I get enough positive feedback maybe I will continue this, but for now, that's not happening. Hope Ты enjoyed regardless of that. XD)

(Seriously though, I really had something going here. I was planning a bunch of cool twists, funny jokes, and even an epic rap battle at the end! I even finished it as well, so if Ты want to see that, let me know.)

(Again, I'm really sorry I didn't finish this. Oh well, lazyitis gets the best of all of us every now and then. :P)
Sam was sitting at Dean’s death bed, when the door opened and Ellen walked in. Sam was Остаться в живых in grief, so he didn’t hear her. It wasn’t until she lay her hand on his shoulder that he looked up.
“Ellen?” he сказал(-а) confused. He hadn’t thought about calling anyone, so why was she here? “Did Cas call you?” he asked, though he knew that couldn’t be the case.
“No” Ellen сказал(-а) numb. “I had to be here” Then, with a little еще strength in her voice, she said: “That сука shot my daughter”
“What?” Sam exclaimed while getting up. “Well, where is she? Is she going to be okay?”...
continue reading...
Elena opened her eyes and gasped for air. She sat up and pulled the threads on her body. She climbed out of постель, кровати and opened the door.
She covered her ears when she heard dozens of shoes stepping on the floor, people talking as if they were screaming through a megaphone.
“Shut up!” she screamed and a few staff members turned around.
“Are Ты alright, miss?” a nurse asked. Elena shook her head confused. She leaned against the room. Everything was a blur. “I’ll get a doctor” the nurse and she looked around to find one.
Elena hurried away. She was hungry. She needed to eat something...
continue reading...
They heard the door close and wondered who came barging in, until a familiar, female and British voice solved the mystery.
“Anyone home?” Rebekah called from downstairs.
“Ugh” Damon sighed. “I’ll go” He stood up and walked to the door, but when he wanted to open it, the door was slammed in his face and Rebekah barged in. She held a guy in her right hand and a blood bag in her left hand.
“What are Ты doing here?” Elena asked tired.
“I came to apologize” Rebekah explained flighty, while she tossed the bag to Damon. “I was wrong to bite you. It’s just that I busted Stefan smooching with that vamp strumpet and Ты look like her, so I got carried away. I don’t understand what it is that draws Stefan to women with your appearances. You’re not even that pretty”
“I appreciate your honesty” Elena прокомментировал(-а) sarcastically.
“Hey, I’m as open as your legs were last night” Rebekah replied blunt and Elena’s cheeks turned red.
Caroline parked her car on the parking lot of the school. Since Damon didn’t have a car anymore he couldn’t drive them and either way, Damon nor Elena minded being banned to the backseat of Caroline’s car.
“We’re there” Caroline said, excited and nervous.
“Yeah, Ты go ahead” Damon mumbled, before he kissed Elena.
“Come on, guys, not in my car” Caroline reproached. She stepped out of the car and walked around to Elena’s door. She opened it and pulled Elena out of the car. “Try to restrain yourself a little” she сказал(-а) with a sharp look at Elena.
Elena turned to Damon....
continue reading...
Summer 2007

Daphne and Roland were lying in the woods, enjoying the sun and playing like teenagers in love.
At the берег of the lake there was a handsome twenty-five год old man.
“Go on, Martin” a female voice said. “You can do it”
Martin turned around. “Zoey!” he сказал(-а) enthusiastic and clapped his hands. Zoey came to him and he hugged her tight. “Martin loves Zoey”
Zoey caressed his hair. “I know, darling, I know” she сказал(-а) sweet. “You want to go take a dip in the lake?” she suggested.
Martin looked at her and she could see the conflict in his eyes. It was really hot and...
continue reading...
Cas examined the rectangle he had found on the floor of his cell. There had been a note on it. ‘A present from Meg. Use it when Ты need me’
A strange warmth filled Cas’ сердце as he read the note over and over again as if it were a Любовь letter. Somewhere behind all that tough Актёрское искусство Meg cared for him. He knew that now and when he got out he would find her and convince her to give him another chance. He wouldn’t be so needy anymore, he wouldn’t…chase her like a Остаться в живых puppy.
“I’m starting to think someone wrote a novel on that small piece of paper” a British voice said.
Cas looked...
continue reading...
It was visiting час in prison and a guard told Cas someone wanted to see him. Cas expected to see Dean или Sam, but when he entered the visitors room it was Zoey who waved at him discreetly.
The guard brought him to the таблица and then withdrew himself. Cas sat down.
“Hi, Emmanuel” Zoey сказал(-а) full of compassion. “I’m sorry. Castiel, right? Daphne told me Ты found out who Ты are. How do Ты like your new old life?”
Cas looked around him, then back at Zoey and let his shoulders hang.
“I’m sorry. That was a stupid question” Zoey said.
“What are Ты doing here?” Cas wondered. “Why...
continue reading...
Anna materialized in Meg’s cell. Meg jumped up and crawled backwards. There was no evil bone in her host’s body that was considering on even trying to take the Энджел down.
“Don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you. I have strict orders and when I’m done I’ll be gone” Anna said.
“Strict orders by who?” Meg asked.
Anna conjured her sword and Meg’s eyes widened in fear. But Anna cut her own arm and put the sword away again. She elevated to the ceiling and drew the Key of Solomon.
“Not again, come on!” Meg exclaimed. “I already promised Sam I wouldn’t get out until they’re...
continue reading...
“That wasn’t very nice, was it?”
Meg looked up. There was a man standing outside her cell and he had a big smile on his face. He examined the ceiling.
“Who are you?” Meg demanded to know.
The man, who spoke with a British accent, raised one eyebrow. “Let me give Ты a little hint. I saved the two of Ты from Hell”
“Oh, you’re an angel” Meg сказал(-а) dry.
“You’re welcome” the Энджел said.
“Are Ты going to kill me?” Meg wanted to know.
“No”
“Are Ты here to mock me?” Meg asked a little annoyed.
“No” the Энджел said, seeming to enjoy the situation. “Why don’t...
continue reading...
The Далее morning.
Jo woke up, because someone was banging the door.
“Mr. Allen? Open the door!” a female voice said.
Jo stumbled out of постель, кровати and wiped her eyes. She walked to the door and opened it. There were two inspectors, a man and a woman.
“Good morning, miss. I’m inspector Roberts, this is my colleague inspector Williams” Isabel said, Показ her badge. “We need to talk to Emmanuel Allen. We were told we could find him here”
Jo frowned and shook her head. “I don’t know anyone with that name. Ты have the wrong house”
Inspector Williams searched in his bag and conjured a picture. “Maybe this might help you?” he said. Jo’s eyes widened and she took the picture. “I know him” she admitted. “But his name’s not Emmanuel. It’s Castiel”
For a минута Cas completely forgot he was an Энджел and that he could fly. или maybe he wanted to be sure Dean knew he was furious. Either way, he slammed the door open and shut again and on his way outside he collided to Meg.
Meg watched him rush away and frowned. She opened the door of Dean’s room and pursed her lips.
“Well, that explains it” she said.
“Jesus, Meg, get the hell out of here!” Dean сказал(-а) angry. Jo had already put on her clothes and Dean was putting on his. “Your boyfriend just left. Ты might have missed him, but if Ты hurry Ты might catch up with him”
Meg squeezed...
continue reading...
Sam was back at Rufus’ cabin. He walked back to the таблица where he lit the three candles. He picked up the нож and cut his arm. The blood dripped in the bowl that was still standing in the center of the table. He struck a match a threw it in the bowl and the flames rose up.
At first nothing happened.
“Crowley, get down here! Before I get angry!” Sam yelled furious.
“Alright, alright, don’t lose your head” Crowley said. He appeared behind Sam and Sam quickly turned around. Crowley looked at his watch. “I give Ты two minutes. Make them count”
“Where’s Dean?” Sam asked insisting....
continue reading...
Daphne was still tied up in her seat, while ‘Castiel’ was watching television.
“Exactly where did sweet Emmanuel go?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the screen.
“I don’t know” Daphne answered scared. “Look, if Ты don’t let me go, I’ll start screaming and then my neighbors will come”
“Then I’ll just kill them” ‘Castiel’ shrugged. “Talking about neighbors…You know Meg, the slut who lived across your house? My boss has been looking for her too”
“What?” Daphne asked breathless.
“You didn’t really think it was a coincidence she moved in there, right after...
continue reading...
The curtains in the living room of Meg’s house were shoved aside. A man with light brown hair, blue eyes and a long black пальто was looking through the field glass Meg had left behind. Without turning around he said: “Get him”
Three demons, two with brown hair and a checked рубашка and one with no hair, but a beard, a grey sweater and a brown vest vanished into thin air.
“Now let’s go give Mrs. Allen a friendly visit” he сказал(-а) to himself.
Daphne was cleaning the breakfast table, when someone knocked the door. She looked up, uncertain of what to do. But Emmanuel had told her to stay inside,...
continue reading...
“Dude, stop staring like that” Andy said. “I’m going to start to believe Linc was right about you” Cas frowned. “What do Ты mean?”
“Never mind” Andy said.
“I didn’t know Ты were Shannen’s boyfriend” Cas said.
“Does that matter?” Andy asked.
“Andy’s the reason I got to babysit Alex” Shannen explained. “He introduced me to Zoey”
“Oh, I get it” Cas said. He looked at the clock. “I should go to the hospital. Zoey will begin to wonder where I am”
“Yeah, go ahead” Shannen said. “And tell Zoey not to worry about Lex. We can stay the night here,...
continue reading...
Cas was sitting at the кухня table, staring ahead. He didn’t know what to do. A part of him wanted to stay. Daphne had saved his life. She’d taken care of him when anyone else would’ve just left him at that lake.
But another part, a bigger part, wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. It was безопасно, сейф to say that his lovely wife wasn’t so lovely at all.
So, why didn’t he just go? Because Zoey had been talking to him. She told him what really happened with Martin, their brother. How Daphne felt responsible for his death and how he, Cas, reminded her of him. Because Martin had...
continue reading...
Hearing room 2
Paul морган was sitting at the стол письменный, стол looking at Meg who shot provoking looks back.
“Meg Masters” he сказал(-а) soft. “What were Ты doing in Mr. and Mrs. Allen’s house?”
“Looking for cookies” Meg answered with a smirk.
“You couldn’t go to the store?” Paul asked frowning.
“No, I’m kind of broke” Meg said. “I would have to steal them. Besides, I knew it would piss off Daphne and that’s basically why I did. Mrs. Allen doesn’t like me very much, Ты see”
Paul nodded. “That wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you’ve been trying to get-forgive...
continue reading...
“Uncle Emmanuel!”
Cas turned around and saw how Alexia let go of her father’s hand and ran towards him. She threw her tiny arms around his legs and looked up.
“Hi!” she smiled.
“Alexia, let go of him” Gerard ordered. Alexia let go and took a step back. She waited for her father to catch up with her. He had a basket with him, which he put down when he reached Zoey. “Hello, darling. I didn’t know Ты were bringing company” he mumbled in her ear, before he kissed her.
“I know” Zoey said. “I wanted to check up on him. I thought he could use some time outside”
“He has...
continue reading...
Cas was angrier than he had ever felt. He threw the кухня таблица in the corner. He walked to the dresser and threw everything off of it. The blender, the frying pan, the coffee-machine, plates, glasses, it all landed on the floor and shattered into pieces.
“Emmanuel, stop!” Daphne shouted. She looked upset at the wreckage Cas was causing. “What do Ты think you’re doing?”
Cas walked toward the cabinet in the living room and collected the figurines on it. He turned at Daphne and Mitch and fired the figurines at them. They ducked just in time.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”...
continue reading...
Cas was sitting up in his hospital bed. There was a bandage around his neck and his hands and feet were bandaged. Dean, Sam, Jo and Meg were sitting around the bed.
“This picture is starting to get too familiar” Cas сказал(-а) grumpy. He lifted up his hand and tried to scratch his neck, but didn’t really succeed.
Meg took his hand and cast him an approaching look.
“What? It itches. Ты didn’t get stabbed by a piece of a mirror” Cas muttered.
“Don’t be such a baby” Meg reproached him.
“I almost died in that maze” Cas defended himself upset.
“So did I, but Ты don’t hear me complaining”...
continue reading...