(I never got around to finishing this and I doubt I ever would've. It's a shame that my laziness got to me because this was actually pretty good in my eyes. Oh well, hope Ты enjoy what's in here right now. XD)
(This is a parody of the famous Dr. Seuss book named "The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book" that I worked on around 2 months ago.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…..
Whoops, wrong series. GODDAMNIT!
Anyways, it was a peaceful and sunny день in the town of Cityville, (I’m serious. XD) When all of a sudden….
……
When all of a sudden……
…..
I SAID, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!
FINALLY! :D
I mean, it was Marvin The Martian! Right the f**k out of nowhere!
BECAUSE WHY NOT!? :D
He was a beeline for Cityville! Quick, somebody do something!
…..
ANYONE ALIVE ON THIS PLANET DO ANYTHING или WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! >.<
…..
God I hate being the narrator.
Marvin: Greetings earthlings! It is I, Marvin Th-
Marvin: Where is everyone? @___@
Actually, that’s a good question.
♫On the other side of the wall!♫
Marvin: What in the name of Melmacian culture was that!?
Oh no, I sense a song coming…..
♫On the other side of the wall!♫
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. :D
Marvin: Where AM I!? @__@
We’re kinda sorta… Sorta kinda…..
In a Dr. Seuss story called The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book.
Marvin: ……… (Too many dots in this fan-fiction!)
Marvin: Well, we’re screwed.
♫On the other side of the wall!♫
At least now I realize why nobody’s even here, we’re the ONLY ones in this area, the others are over there.
Me: ♫On the other side of the wall!♫ XD
Marvin: Well, at least have the courtesy to tell me what’s going to happen! или else I’ll get out every weapon I have….
♫Butter side down! :D♫
Those red-dressed people over there like putting масло, сливочное масло side down when they eat toast, and we like масло, сливочное масло side up. We’re also dressed in blue.
Marvin: SERIOUSLY!? We’re starting a war over BREAD!?
Not just any хлеб war Marvin, this is the battle…..
Me: ♫FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL!♫ ^___^
Marvin: Whatever, I’ll annihilate them in two seconds! What could possibly go wrong?
Kyros: ♫Butter side down!♫ >:D
Are Ты freaking KIDDING ME!?
Далее time somebody says that I’ll go Mortal Kombat on them. >.<
Kyros: ♫The idiots on that side… They give me a frown. I mean, they don’t eat with the масло, сливочное масло side down!♫
Marvin: ♫Au Contraire, Ты don’t even care! You’re just morons who don’t eat right, living in despair!♫
Oh this is gonna be good. :D
Kyros: Let’s skip the singing, we’re starting a war. Each of us has one день to make a weapon and at exactly 5:00 P.M, we’ll fight with them and see who wins. There’s going to be three fights total, and the winner with the most fights won gets……
Kyros: ♫The other side of the wall!♫
Kyros: So, deal? >:)
Marvin: What if we refuse?
Kyros: Then I’ll have a good dinner….. Haha, HAHAHAH!!!!!
Marvin: Accursed earthlings! Well, now what Jared?
Who, me? I’m not even a character, I’m the narrator! >:D
Marvin: THAT’S IT! I’M NOT FIGHTING ALONE, GET OVER HERE! *Drags me into the book*
Jared: Well, that’s what happens when Ты push your luck. Also, I’m surprised Ты didn’t make a скорпион reference there! :D
Marvin: Really Jared? -___- Also, wasn’t there armies for BOTH sides in the book?
Jared: I didn’t even know Ты DID read the book. And yes, there was. But they, uh….
Jared: I have no idea what happened to them. Maybe they died, who knows. I mean, it’s not like they’re having a party.
The Entire Blue Population: YEAH! WHOO! PASS ME THE WHISKEY! ^____^
Jared: Well this is great, NOW who’s going to narrate the story? Hmm…..
Jared: How about Kirby? He’s a good narrator!
Marvin: Uh, sure I guess. :P
Kirby: Bio bio! ^___^
Jared: Эй, Kirby, use this mike to speak clearer!
Kirby: *Transforms into Mike Kirby*
Kirby: *Blows everything up*
Jared: OH GOD!!!! QUICK, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
Marvin: *Shoots teleportation пушка at Kirby* There we go, he shouldn’t bother us anymore.
Jared: Great! I wonder where he went….
Entire Blue Population: OH GOD MY EARS!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<
Marvin: One last thing before we start building the weapon, my teleportation пушка is only in an alpha state, so there might be a few….. Glitches with it.
Jared: Alrighty! :D Besides, who needs narrators anyways?
Marvin: Well, we better get to work if we want to win. So, Ты have any ideas for weapons?
Jared: NAPALM FLAMETHROWER! AN602 HYDROGEN TSAR BOMB! TESLA CANNON! :D
Marvin: Alright then, let’s get to work!
*One Eternity Later*
Marvin: We’ve finally finished the Tesla Cannon, and it looks absolutely extravagant! What do Ты think Jared?
Jared: OW MY FINGEEERRRRR!!!! >.<
Marvin: This’ll make a great weapon for round one, we can’t lose!
Marvin: So, we have plenty of time left, what do Ты want to talk about?
Jared: How about why the heck anybody would want to eat butter-side DOWN!? SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT!? IT’S LIKE PUTTING THE PEPPER ON THE SIDES OF EGGS, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! THE масло, сливочное масло WILL FALL ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND IT’S AS STUPID AS Ты CAN GET!
Marvin: Wasn’t aware you’d go Nostalgia Critic on me there. Well, let’s take the weapon to the battlefield! FOR CITYVILLE!
Nonexistent Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall…..
Red Person: HOW THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO BEAT A TESLA CANNON!?
Other Red Person: We should call Kyros!
Yet Another Red Person: We should make an even better weapon!
Patrick: WE SHOULD TAKE BIKINI BOTTOM, AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!
*Silence*
Yet ANOTHER Red Person: How the heck did PATRICK get in here?
YET ANOTHER FREAKING RED PERSON: It’s a Dr. Seuss story, why are we even questioning this?
*I hope Ты enjoyed that pointless advance in the story*
*Now back to the other side of the wall*
Marvin: It’s 4:45, I wonder what they’re doing? Well, all we can do is wait and hope we win.
Jared: *Makes a grilled cheese with the Tesla cannon* YUMMY! ^___^
Marvin: Hmm….. I hear something approaching us.
Kyros: Guess who? >:)
Jared: Dinkleberg….
Jared: I mean, uh, Kyros…..
Marvin: So, where’s your weapon? I don’t really see it.
Kyros: Look beyond what Ты see….. (Really? I’m ripping off The Lion King now? XD)
*Ground shakes*
*We’re screwed*
*Give my regards to Broadway*
*Brace for impact*
*Stop it Jared*
Marvin: Oh no! It’s UNDER us!?
Jared: WHAT DO WE DO!?
Jared: WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA!
Marvin: WHAT IS IT!?
(And I stopped here. I didn't finish this because I got lazy, sorry. If I get enough positive feedback maybe I will continue this, but for now, that's not happening. Hope Ты enjoyed regardless of that. XD)
(Seriously though, I really had something going here. I was planning a bunch of cool twists, funny jokes, and even an epic rap battle at the end! I even finished it as well, so if Ты want to see that, let me know.)
(Again, I'm really sorry I didn't finish this. Oh well, lazyitis gets the best of all of us every now and then. :P)
(This is a parody of the famous Dr. Seuss book named "The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book" that I worked on around 2 months ago.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…..
Whoops, wrong series. GODDAMNIT!
Anyways, it was a peaceful and sunny день in the town of Cityville, (I’m serious. XD) When all of a sudden….
……
When all of a sudden……
…..
I SAID, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!
FINALLY! :D
I mean, it was Marvin The Martian! Right the f**k out of nowhere!
BECAUSE WHY NOT!? :D
He was a beeline for Cityville! Quick, somebody do something!
…..
ANYONE ALIVE ON THIS PLANET DO ANYTHING или WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! >.<
…..
God I hate being the narrator.
Marvin: Greetings earthlings! It is I, Marvin Th-
Marvin: Where is everyone? @___@
Actually, that’s a good question.
♫On the other side of the wall!♫
Marvin: What in the name of Melmacian culture was that!?
Oh no, I sense a song coming…..
♫On the other side of the wall!♫
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. :D
Marvin: Where AM I!? @__@
We’re kinda sorta… Sorta kinda…..
In a Dr. Seuss story called The масло, сливочное масло Battle Book.
Marvin: ……… (Too many dots in this fan-fiction!)
Marvin: Well, we’re screwed.
♫On the other side of the wall!♫
At least now I realize why nobody’s even here, we’re the ONLY ones in this area, the others are over there.
Me: ♫On the other side of the wall!♫ XD
Marvin: Well, at least have the courtesy to tell me what’s going to happen! или else I’ll get out every weapon I have….
♫Butter side down! :D♫
Those red-dressed people over there like putting масло, сливочное масло side down when they eat toast, and we like масло, сливочное масло side up. We’re also dressed in blue.
Marvin: SERIOUSLY!? We’re starting a war over BREAD!?
Not just any хлеб war Marvin, this is the battle…..
Me: ♫FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL!♫ ^___^
Marvin: Whatever, I’ll annihilate them in two seconds! What could possibly go wrong?
Kyros: ♫Butter side down!♫ >:D
Are Ты freaking KIDDING ME!?
Далее time somebody says that I’ll go Mortal Kombat on them. >.<
Kyros: ♫The idiots on that side… They give me a frown. I mean, they don’t eat with the масло, сливочное масло side down!♫
Marvin: ♫Au Contraire, Ты don’t even care! You’re just morons who don’t eat right, living in despair!♫
Oh this is gonna be good. :D
Kyros: Let’s skip the singing, we’re starting a war. Each of us has one день to make a weapon and at exactly 5:00 P.M, we’ll fight with them and see who wins. There’s going to be three fights total, and the winner with the most fights won gets……
Kyros: ♫The other side of the wall!♫
Kyros: So, deal? >:)
Marvin: What if we refuse?
Kyros: Then I’ll have a good dinner….. Haha, HAHAHAH!!!!!
Marvin: Accursed earthlings! Well, now what Jared?
Who, me? I’m not even a character, I’m the narrator! >:D
Marvin: THAT’S IT! I’M NOT FIGHTING ALONE, GET OVER HERE! *Drags me into the book*
Jared: Well, that’s what happens when Ты push your luck. Also, I’m surprised Ты didn’t make a скорпион reference there! :D
Marvin: Really Jared? -___- Also, wasn’t there armies for BOTH sides in the book?
Jared: I didn’t even know Ты DID read the book. And yes, there was. But they, uh….
Jared: I have no idea what happened to them. Maybe they died, who knows. I mean, it’s not like they’re having a party.
The Entire Blue Population: YEAH! WHOO! PASS ME THE WHISKEY! ^____^
Jared: Well this is great, NOW who’s going to narrate the story? Hmm…..
Jared: How about Kirby? He’s a good narrator!
Marvin: Uh, sure I guess. :P
Kirby: Bio bio! ^___^
Jared: Эй, Kirby, use this mike to speak clearer!
Kirby: *Transforms into Mike Kirby*
Kirby: *Blows everything up*
Jared: OH GOD!!!! QUICK, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
Marvin: *Shoots teleportation пушка at Kirby* There we go, he shouldn’t bother us anymore.
Jared: Great! I wonder where he went….
Entire Blue Population: OH GOD MY EARS!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<
Marvin: One last thing before we start building the weapon, my teleportation пушка is only in an alpha state, so there might be a few….. Glitches with it.
Jared: Alrighty! :D Besides, who needs narrators anyways?
Marvin: Well, we better get to work if we want to win. So, Ты have any ideas for weapons?
Jared: NAPALM FLAMETHROWER! AN602 HYDROGEN TSAR BOMB! TESLA CANNON! :D
Marvin: Alright then, let’s get to work!
*One Eternity Later*
Marvin: We’ve finally finished the Tesla Cannon, and it looks absolutely extravagant! What do Ты think Jared?
Jared: OW MY FINGEEERRRRR!!!! >.<
Marvin: This’ll make a great weapon for round one, we can’t lose!
Marvin: So, we have plenty of time left, what do Ты want to talk about?
Jared: How about why the heck anybody would want to eat butter-side DOWN!? SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT!? IT’S LIKE PUTTING THE PEPPER ON THE SIDES OF EGGS, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! THE масло, сливочное масло WILL FALL ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND IT’S AS STUPID AS Ты CAN GET!
Marvin: Wasn’t aware you’d go Nostalgia Critic on me there. Well, let’s take the weapon to the battlefield! FOR CITYVILLE!
Nonexistent Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall…..
Red Person: HOW THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO BEAT A TESLA CANNON!?
Other Red Person: We should call Kyros!
Yet Another Red Person: We should make an even better weapon!
Patrick: WE SHOULD TAKE BIKINI BOTTOM, AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!
*Silence*
Yet ANOTHER Red Person: How the heck did PATRICK get in here?
YET ANOTHER FREAKING RED PERSON: It’s a Dr. Seuss story, why are we even questioning this?
*I hope Ты enjoyed that pointless advance in the story*
*Now back to the other side of the wall*
Marvin: It’s 4:45, I wonder what they’re doing? Well, all we can do is wait and hope we win.
Jared: *Makes a grilled cheese with the Tesla cannon* YUMMY! ^___^
Marvin: Hmm….. I hear something approaching us.
Kyros: Guess who? >:)
Jared: Dinkleberg….
Jared: I mean, uh, Kyros…..
Marvin: So, where’s your weapon? I don’t really see it.
Kyros: Look beyond what Ты see….. (Really? I’m ripping off The Lion King now? XD)
*Ground shakes*
*We’re screwed*
*Give my regards to Broadway*
*Brace for impact*
*Stop it Jared*
Marvin: Oh no! It’s UNDER us!?
Jared: WHAT DO WE DO!?
Jared: WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA!
Marvin: WHAT IS IT!?
(And I stopped here. I didn't finish this because I got lazy, sorry. If I get enough positive feedback maybe I will continue this, but for now, that's not happening. Hope Ты enjoyed regardless of that. XD)
(Seriously though, I really had something going here. I was planning a bunch of cool twists, funny jokes, and even an epic rap battle at the end! I even finished it as well, so if Ты want to see that, let me know.)
(Again, I'm really sorry I didn't finish this. Oh well, lazyitis gets the best of all of us every now and then. :P)
Phil Coulson's collecting cards
Meg was sitting in front of the mirror in the bathroom of Dorothy’s apartment. She was putting up makeup when the door opened and a woman came in.
“Hi” she сказал(-а) as she walked towards her. “My name’s Heather” she introduced herself and she pulled a chair and sat down. “I hear it’s your first night. How are Ты feeling? Are Ты nervous?”
“No” Meg said. “Maybe, I don’t know”
“You’ve had sex before, right?” Heather checked.
“Yeah, of course” Meg responded.
“Okay” Heather сказал(-а) relieved. “This is not a way to lose your virginity”
“Are Ты trying to give me some kind of pep talk?” Meg asked.
“Yes” Heather admitted. “And to give Ты this” She put something in Meg’s hands. Meg opened her hand and looked at the white pill. “To get Ты through your first night”
“I take it it’s not an aspirin” Meg прокомментировал(-а) sarcastically. She put the pill in her mouth and swallowed.
“Hi” she сказал(-а) as she walked towards her. “My name’s Heather” she introduced herself and she pulled a chair and sat down. “I hear it’s your first night. How are Ты feeling? Are Ты nervous?”
“No” Meg said. “Maybe, I don’t know”
“You’ve had sex before, right?” Heather checked.
“Yeah, of course” Meg responded.
“Okay” Heather сказал(-а) relieved. “This is not a way to lose your virginity”
“Are Ты trying to give me some kind of pep talk?” Meg asked.
“Yes” Heather admitted. “And to give Ты this” She put something in Meg’s hands. Meg opened her hand and looked at the white pill. “To get Ты through your first night”
“I take it it’s not an aspirin” Meg прокомментировал(-а) sarcastically. She put the pill in her mouth and swallowed.
