Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic радуга as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican пони 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican пони 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, вишня bombs, или sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me Ты guys have a Пароль for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican пони 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the секунда Mexican pony* Get your жопа, попка over here.
Mexican пони 2: *Walks toward Mexican пони 1*
Mexican пони 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican пони 1: *Pushes Mexican пони 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when Ты get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the душ with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure Ты get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the душ this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me Ты idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, Ты wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! Ты couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, или fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent Ты in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet Ты brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As Ты all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: Ты want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 год Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't Ты lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 год Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do Ты care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has Ты brain washed.
16 год Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 год Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and Ты kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 год Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If Ты don't like reality, why don't Ты just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 год Old Colt: Ugh, Ты suck! *Runs 100 miles an час to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got Остаться в живых at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a пицца with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire вверх of the пицца to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell Ты where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* Ты ready? Jenny, I want Ты to start Письмо this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let Ты out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her Собаки have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick или treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, Ты are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because Ты dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's Стена where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit by the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic радуга as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican пони 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican пони 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, вишня bombs, или sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me Ты guys have a Пароль for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican пони 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the секунда Mexican pony* Get your жопа, попка over here.
Mexican пони 2: *Walks toward Mexican пони 1*
Mexican пони 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican пони 1: *Pushes Mexican пони 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when Ты get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the душ with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure Ты get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the душ this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me Ты idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, Ты wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! Ты couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, или fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent Ты in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet Ты brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As Ты all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: Ты want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 год Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't Ты lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 год Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do Ты care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has Ты brain washed.
16 год Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 год Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and Ты kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 год Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If Ты don't like reality, why don't Ты just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 год Old Colt: Ugh, Ты suck! *Runs 100 miles an час to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got Остаться в живых at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a пицца with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire вверх of the пицца to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell Ты where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* Ты ready? Jenny, I want Ты to start Письмо this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let Ты out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her Собаки have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick или treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, Ты are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because Ты dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's Стена where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit by the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Crystal Cake
One день in the castle, Queen Coco клубника was giving birth to a foal. She looked at the жеребенок, жеребёнок after she was born and сказал(-а) for the guards to take her newborn filly to a house in пони Ville. The Guards did as they were told.
The newborn filly was taken in by a nice family. Her mother was Конфеты Cake and her father was Brown Cake. So then the newborn filly was named Crystal Cake.
Only her parents knew her secret and wanted to keep it hidden. Will Crystal ever find out the truth about her past?
Thanks Chapter 1 might be up today!
