Please leave a message after the beep.

Hi! this is your phone company...and we are here to tell Ты that ....after this message is litend to ur phone will selfdesturct

in


10



9



8


7



6




5




4




3




2



1



KABOOOM

*says in creepy whispering killer voice*

'' The call is comming from inside the house... ''

"Umm, hi. I'm the пицца guy, I've been ringing your doorbell for the past half hour. But I needed to get that пицца to you, so I broke your window. I took your TV and laptop because Ты made me wait, but the пицца was free since it took over half an hour! Have a nice day, sir."

SEVEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

серовато-коричневый, dun, дун серовато-коричневый, dun, дун dun!

Hello? *insert your name here* are Ты home? come on, pick up the phone! *pauses* oh, alright fine. I'm sorry for last night! I didn't mean it really! Please pick up and we can talk. *pauses* I guess Ты really must hate me. I don't blame you, I don't like myself much either. Please, please consider forgving me. Please. I can't live without you! I Любовь YOU! please... just call me at least to yell at me. I want to hear your voice...

hi nya. we are selling nekos to use for whatever Ты want to use it for weather it be a slave girl/boyfriend или just to kill for your own greedy selfish reasons nya. a neko is half human and half cat nya. i will warn Ты that nekos will constantly end their sentences with nya, if Ты don't want this than Ты can special order your neko nya. call now to get the hottest neko at 1-80-666-slave nya.

Y O U A R E S T U P I D

T H E E V I L I R K E N S H A V E E A T E N Y O U

"DUDE, Ты owe me 5 bucks."
8 days later..
"dude I need 5 bucks.'
9 days after that...
"I'LL KILL Ты IF Ты DONT GIVE ME 5 BUCKS."
78 days after that..
"Could Ты atleast puke back up teh girlscout печенье that where 5 bucks.. Have a SCOUTTASTIC day."

hi its logan lerman and im the hottest person alive =). i wish i got that message!

*creepy heavy breathing* Ты better lock the doors.

hi. i was just calling about this order of пицца Ты called in. yeah, we don't make our пицца out of dog crap. and we don't deliver to the bottom of the ocean, either.

fish, elf, dog, snow, goldfish, monkey, ninja, pickle, lama *says еще and еще Болталка words*

Hey! I didn´t hear the beep...When can I leave my message?

Hi Bye

Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!

Another one:

Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!

Another:

Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen или my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!

"Okay. Hello? Oh hi! I'm just calling to tell Ты an amazing product that just came out, and is loved from all around the world! Your own personal boyfriend/girlfriend, they do whatever Ты want! They have be trained to do anything Ты ask, and here's the great part: ITS ONLY A SMALL PRICE OF, 170.47$! Go on and pick up the phone now...! Theproductsmayexplodeundertoomichpressure.productswilnotsnugglewithyouorshowanyotheraffection.theproductprobablyhatesyourguts.ohyeahtheymaykillyouifyoumakethemrubyourfeet! ENJOY!:)

Ты order chinese Еда Ты no pick up
you, Ты order lo mein, yes, and, and don't forget your fortune cookie, uh,uh, please pick up your fortune cookie and lo mein, uh bye.

[this is something one of my Друзья sent me last week]

Her: Эй, Ashley
A Guy: сено, сена Ashley!
Her: I sent Ты something on skype saying, "ANSWER YOUR PHONE." oh yeah, I typed it with one hand!
G: So, do Ты do this often?
H: What, leave 10 минуты messages?
G: Yeah.
H: Oh yeah, Ashley's voicemail box is full of them just from me and Болталка guys from chatango.
G: I'm not just a Болталка guy from chatango, I'm your husband!
H: Болталка guy. End of story.
G: No!
H: OH SHE REPLIED! She said, "okay. call me again."
G: but I'm your husband...
H: BYE ASHLEY! -ends-

have Ты check the children?

WHAT?! DON'T Ты DARE SWEAR AT ME!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
Bye!

*breathes in deeply and out again* "Turn. Around."