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1. Ты grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. Ты take фото of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when Ты sneeze.
5. Ты don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at Starbucks and Ты don’t even work there.
7. Ты spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your Кошки are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. Ты can’t even remember your секунда cup.
10. Ты can jump-start your car without cables.


*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
added by Canada24
video
Ты are sitting on the диван, мягкий уголок waiting for your best friend to come and watch the outsiders with Ты for a college project. "Hey" (Y/N) Johnny says closing the door behind him. "Hey" Johnny Ты say back. Are Ты ready to watch the movie Ты ask? He is silent and he just stares at you. "Are Ты ok?" Ты ask Johnny
He takes the remote out of your hands and says (Y/N) Ты are funny, Caring, smart, Amazing, Loving, and most importantly Ты are Gold. Ты hold his chest as Ты are pushing him was y and say " Ты watched the outsiders without me"? "Look (Y/N) "what I am trying to say is I Любовь you."...
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added by TimberHumphrey
posted by Zeku
Have Ты ever heard the story of the Albanian train operator? No?! Well then sit down and get comfy, we're going to be a while here. This is the greatest pun ever shared around a bar top. There once was an Albanian man who only ever dreamed of becoming a train operator. It was his greatest childhood fantasy, and all he worked for in his life. He was overjoyed when the день finally came that he first got into the engine of a train to live out that dream. As Murphy's law would have it, his first день on the job he hit a pedestrian on the tracks.. He was arrested, and come the день for his trial...
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So the Game Awards 2019 was an absolute waste of time to anyone who went there. What a great time to be alive. Can Ты believe they put a Fast & Furious game as the big announcement of that night above волк Among Us 2 или No еще Герои 3? So after being disappointed by Fast & Furious, I can disappoint myself again with a new Fast & Furious title, Fast & Furious: Showdown. I’ve never watched any of the movies, I have no idea what they are about, all I know is they were part of Game Awards 2019, so that’s justifiable reasons to hate it. Created by the lovely team at Activision,...
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hilarious
Фильмы
added by kingcesar67
added by Blaze1213IsBack
added by Blaze1213IsBack
added by Seanthehedgehog
Give me back my camera!
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Болталка
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funny
added by 4vonlea
added by andy10B
added by Mauserfan1910
Source: boob
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Cincinatti Ohio. Four men were in a black Suburban were driving towards a warehouse called M&M Metals International Inc. One of them was Johnny Lightning.

Johnny: *Looks to the man sitting in the back with him*
Narrator: Before joining the CIA, I was a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I didn't like the fact that it was corrupt, and decided to transfer. Some federal boys on the other hand, did not want me to transfer to the CIA. Once a месяц since my transfer, they've been sending me at least five E-mails, trying to make out deals to get me back.
Driver: *Stops the Suburban*...
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1-It's considered rude to write in red ink in Portugal.
2-Although the bobcat is rarely seen, it is the most common wildcat in North America.
3-The Chinese giant саламандра can grow to be 6 feet (1.8 m) long, making it the largest саламандра in the world.

4-Because the speed of Earth's rotation changes over time, a день in the age of Динозавры was just 23 hours long.

5-There are еще than 1,200 water parks in North America.


6-It would take 100 Earths, lined up end-to-end, to stretch across the face of the sun.

7-The highest wave ever surfed was as tall as a 10-story building.

8-Some apples can weigh...
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added by EgoMouse
added by DisneyPrince88
added by DisneyPrince88
added by Mollymolata