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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The Далее time Ты and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a Опрос to see which of Ты successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with Ты - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever Ты have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If Ты were really looking for an honest answer, Ты wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The Далее time Ты make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do Ты and your Друзья keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if Ты look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' Избранное outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If Ты must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then Ты never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know Ты can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises или promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.
If Ты don't read this, someone else wil
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posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEELL!
HIA EVERYBODY!
I'm your host InvaderCalliope!
Well i'm going to sing! *sings*
WELL AS Ты KNOW I GET TONS AND TONS OF Фан LETTERS! NOW I WILL READ ONE TO YOU!
The Letter reads:Big hello to InvaderCalliope on this Показать i allways see a new guest звезда so i was wondering how do Ты do it?
Ты WANNA KNOW BECAUSE ITS AN HONOR TO BE ON THIS Показать BEING ON THIS Показать AS ME AS THE HOST!
Well todays guest звезда is..............KEEF!
Keef:HI EVERYONE I HOPE ZIM AND DIB ARE WATCHING THERE MY BEST FRIENDS!
InvaderCalliope:You know your Друзья are going to think your pathetic.
Keef:WHAT!
InvaderCalliope:You herd me if Ты make them know your there whole world there going to use you!
OH NO WERE OUTTA TIME!
WELL BYE!
BUT FIRST PLZ ENJOY TODAYS SPECAIL PICTURE!
BYE ME!
posted by invadercalliope
*music*
Nazonazo mitai ni
chikyuugi wo tokiakashitara
Minna de doko made mo ikeru ne
*music*
Wakuwaku shitai to negainagara sugoshiteta yo
Kanaetekureta no wa dare nano?
Jikan no hate made boooon!!
Wa-pu de ru-pu
na kono omoi wa
Nani mo kamo wo makikonda souzou de asobou
Aru hareta hi no koto
Mahou ijou no yukai
ga
Kagirinaku furisosogu fukanou janai wa
*music*
Ashita mata au toki warai nagara hamingu
Ureshisa wo atsumeyou
Kantan nanda yo
konna no
Oikakete ne tsukamaete mite
Ooki na yume
yume suki deshou?
*music*
Iroiro yosou ga
dekisou de dekinai
mirai
Some demo hitotsu
dake wakaru yo
*music*
Kirakira hikatte atsui
kumo...
continue reading...
posted by TDItwin
here is something funny to try get 2 of your freinds together and put on this Болталка ninger play (sorry if i offend Ты i herd this some were and its been in my mind for a месяц so i thought td post it here)

sioki:saska saska are Ты in there this is your consious speaking ...moo..live with it!

saska:sorry being an Эмо makes it hard to concentrat on ninger traing

sapa:i know what Ты mean every bodys always telling me to...

sioki:SHUT UP sapa we all have arational hate for Ты !!

sapa:what i havent done enything yet??

sioki:we still hate Ты !!

sapa: dose saska hate me too?

sioki:no hes an Эмо he has no emotins except for the one that is Эмо ...GOD WHY DO Ты EXSIST?!?!

sapa:what the i havent done enything to deserve this kind of treatment

sioki:STOP EXISTING!!

saska:*starts beatboxing*

saps+sioki:*join in*
this gose on for 5 секунды till Ты all cry total ninger theme song
 look at them
look at them
posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on Facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I Остаться в живых my phone, can Ты call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!...
continue reading...
50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time Ты turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him или her that you’ve Остаться в живых your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he или she has anything...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the духовой шкаф, печь on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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NOTE: These "facts" have not necessarily been verified. They are just for fun.

1.If Ты keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

2.San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.

3.Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical рыба stores.

4.A Wisconsin грузоподъемник, вилочный погрузчик operator for a Miller пиво distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper Показ him drinking a Bud Light.

5.More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million).

6.For every person on earth, there are an estimated...
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72 things Guys should know about Girls <3...


1. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

2. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.

3. When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her.

4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her Ты Любовь her.

5. Call her before Ты sleep and after Ты wake up

6. Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

7. Tease her and let her tease Ты back.

8. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

9. Watch her Избранное movie with her или her Избранное Показать even if Ты think its stupid.

10. Give her the world.

11. Let her wear your clothes....
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1. Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

5. Ты have to tell a guy what Ты really want before he gets the message clearly.

6. Guys Любовь their moms или grandmas.

7. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

8. Ты can never understand him unless Ты listen to him.

9. Beware. Guys can make gossips...
continue reading...
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added by deedeeflower
Source: panoramio.com