This утка walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do Ты have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the утка leaves.

The Далее day, the утка returns and asks, "Do Ты have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the утка leaves.

The день after that, the утка walks in the store again and asks "Do Ты have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told Ты no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if Ты come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The утка left, and returned the Далее day. This time he asked, "Do Ты have any nails?" The clerk replied, "No," and the утка said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

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A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

"You can't land on the sun, Ты idiot! You'll burn up!" сказал(-а) the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, Ты know. We're going at night!"
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A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God's work." The Далее morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, "you protect the public." The Далее morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The Далее morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.
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One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse
slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a секунда катафалк which
was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and
then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the секунда катафалк and
asked him who was in the first hearse.

"My wife," the man replied.

"I'm sorry," сказал(-а) Bill. "What happened to her?"

"My dog bit her and she died."

Bill then asked the man who was in the секунда hearse.

The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as
well."

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I
borrow your dog?"

To which the man replied, "Get in line."


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