Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope Ты like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when Ты heard someone talking on the intercom, Ты fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give Ты a ride Главная and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a гриб and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away Ты screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my хомяк and сказал(-а) "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and сказал(-а) 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS Шоколад RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a белка in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS Ты SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick Стена screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my кухня and begged it to tell Ты the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and Ты fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and сказал(-а) "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove Ты Главная last night Ты were in the back сиденье, место, сиденья pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced Ты to bite your own nose and Ты spent an час rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a дерево and сказал(-а) "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a кухня нож had Kelley throw Фрукты at Ты and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE Фрукты NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a подушка and started Пение 'IT'S A подушка IT'S A PET ITS A подушка PET!!!'"
"You preached at a Барби Куклы wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when Ты hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on вверх of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
Ты put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T Ты FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new яблоко IPhone in the blender because Ты wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove Ты Главная Ты yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when Ты saw the дерево air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and Ты hid under a таблица screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff Пение 'I'm on the edge of glory'"
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when Ты heard someone talking on the intercom, Ты fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give Ты a ride Главная and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a гриб and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away Ты screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my хомяк and сказал(-а) "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and сказал(-а) 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS Шоколад RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a белка in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS Ты SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick Стена screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my кухня and begged it to tell Ты the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and Ты fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and сказал(-а) "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove Ты Главная last night Ты were in the back сиденье, место, сиденья pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced Ты to bite your own nose and Ты spent an час rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a дерево and сказал(-а) "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a кухня нож had Kelley throw Фрукты at Ты and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE Фрукты NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a подушка and started Пение 'IT'S A подушка IT'S A PET ITS A подушка PET!!!'"
"You preached at a Барби Куклы wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when Ты hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on вверх of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
Ты put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T Ты FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new яблоко IPhone in the blender because Ты wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove Ты Главная Ты yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when Ты saw the дерево air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and Ты hid under a таблица screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff Пение 'I'm on the edge of glory'"
