Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the Далее table.
Turn around every thirty-seven секунды to the people at the Далее таблица and ask them if your сиденье, место, сиденья is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever Ты see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their таблица and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time Ты take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the таблица itself; and make sure to make a big production out of it.
Order something on the menu, preferably something very specific, then when it comes, claim it's wrong and Ты ordered something simple. Make a big production about the ineptitude of the help.
If shells are on the menu, order them and take them home. Come in the Далее день and say, "Those shells Ты sold me jammed up my shotgun! I want my money back!"
As soon as someone at a nearby таблица gets up, jump into their сиденье, место, сиденья immediately, and claim you've been there the whole night. This is especially great when the others at that таблица are in on it.
Whenever anyone leaves their сиденье, место, сиденья at another table, put some particularly messy peice of Еда on their seat.
Two Words: Еда Fight.
Poke the person Далее to Ты repeatedly with your fork. If they try to retaliate, curl into a ball and start crying for your mother.
This only works if the person has their back to you. Select a single strand of hair from the person's head and pull gently. When they reach up to touch their hair или try to turn around, look at the ceiling или pretend to read the menu. Repeat constantly.
Tap your fingernails on the таблица top, ignoring any evil stares that come your way. (This works anywhere, not just restaurants.)
Hug yourself and rock backwards and forwards in your сиденье, место, сиденья whilst muttering incoherantly. This will not only completely embarrass those at your table, it is also extremely annoying.
Help yourself to other people's meals. If they complain, pretend to stick your fingers down your throat and ask them if they'd like their Еда back.
Turn around every thirty-seven секунды to the people at the Далее таблица and ask them if your сиденье, место, сиденья is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever Ты see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their таблица and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time Ты take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the таблица itself; and make sure to make a big production out of it.
Order something on the menu, preferably something very specific, then when it comes, claim it's wrong and Ты ordered something simple. Make a big production about the ineptitude of the help.
If shells are on the menu, order them and take them home. Come in the Далее день and say, "Those shells Ты sold me jammed up my shotgun! I want my money back!"
As soon as someone at a nearby таблица gets up, jump into their сиденье, место, сиденья immediately, and claim you've been there the whole night. This is especially great when the others at that таблица are in on it.
Whenever anyone leaves their сиденье, место, сиденья at another table, put some particularly messy peice of Еда on their seat.
Two Words: Еда Fight.
Poke the person Далее to Ты repeatedly with your fork. If they try to retaliate, curl into a ball and start crying for your mother.
This only works if the person has their back to you. Select a single strand of hair from the person's head and pull gently. When they reach up to touch their hair или try to turn around, look at the ceiling или pretend to read the menu. Repeat constantly.
Tap your fingernails on the таблица top, ignoring any evil stares that come your way. (This works anywhere, not just restaurants.)
Hug yourself and rock backwards and forwards in your сиденье, место, сиденья whilst muttering incoherantly. This will not only completely embarrass those at your table, it is also extremely annoying.
Help yourself to other people's meals. If they complain, pretend to stick your fingers down your throat and ask them if they'd like their Еда back.
