There's a reason why Shovel Knight is widely regarded as the best game of 2014, and here's why.

But first, since I'm еще of a buzzkill than the bees in Donkey Kong Country, a little backstory.

Shovel Knight started out as a project on the Популярное website Kickstarter, which kickstarts new ideas and is commonly used to make and invent new things. Then came....

*Insert cliche as hell hallelujah music*

This game, Shovel Knight.

Now since this isn't a review, I'm just going to give what I think of it, that way this doesn't turn into one of those god-forsaken 1,000 word essays Ты had to do in a week when Ты were in elementary school.

Shovel Knight in a nutshell is an NES based platformer that is easily one of the best I've ever seen.

The gameplay is as sharp as a blacksmithed needle, the Музыка is as catchy that goddamn catchphrase YOLO, and the graphics look as beautiful as my girlfriend Cynthia, because even though the game's only 8-bit, it still looks absolutely wonderful.

Seriously, there's no way in hell that this game could've been on an actual NES. The system wasn't capable of auto-scrolling, 46 amazing songs that I could listen to all millennium, или a story mode as long as Shovel Knight's.

The story is that Shovel Knight and his extravagant buddy Shield Knight used to roam the lands, living young, wild, and free, (Don't lie, Ты don't get the reference.) When all of a sudden she disappears right the fuck out of nowhere and you've got to save her!

But to get to where she presumably is at the tower of fate, Ты must first beat up a giant intimidating group of baddies called "The Order Of No Quarter!"

Ты CAN'T HAVE MY QUARTERS ROBOT MASTER STEREOTYPES! >.<

Seriously though, the bosses each have awesome designs with funny personalities and I Любовь each and every one of them.

Then there's the leader of the group, named the Enchantress. She's the annoying жопа, попка Blinky of the group, and easily the most powerful of the Order Of No Quarter.

Using a character that looks exactly like Boba Fett from звезда Wars and Vile from Megaman X, Ты must use the shovel heard round the world to stop the baddies and save your girlfriend!

Seriously, the shovel in this game is so powerful it can break steel in two hits.

I WANT THAT SHOVEL.

The entire game is easy to learn, but so damn hard to master you'd have an easier time learning to twirl a conductor's baton on огонь in a pool full of sharks.

Although each death is quite fair, as no time playing the game did I ever find me actually mad, and I never died because I thought the game was unfair either, so don't get the wrong idea или I'll swat Ты with a ski pole.

Every now and then you'll find a rare special item that Ты can use at any time as long as Ты have enough magic, including a огонь rod, a giant exploding anchor, and a pair of gloves that can somehow control the boundaries of space, time, and gravity and перфоратор, удар, пунш through dust blocks in the air while flying until there's no еще dirt bricks left to punch.

I WANT THOSE GLOVES.

In conclusion, this is a very fun game that's easily worth your money. And seeing as how there's SO much awesome DLC coming out soon you'd have an easier time counting the amount of mosquitos there are in a swarm of absolutely terrifying blood-drinking creatures, I think you'll absolutely Любовь this game.

Ты probably won't Любовь the swarm of mosquitos though, dear god.

FINAL SCORE: 9.5! This is one of the best games I've seen in decades.