Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an час down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed of 55* Come on, don't Ты know what the speed is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into a guardrail*
Jeep
Buff Man: *Leaning on a trailer with a speed boat* Yep, just getting my Jeep filled up with gas here at the Gulf station, and then I'm going to New York to go fishing, and test out my new boat. God I Любовь my Jeep. Off roading is the way of life.
Ford
Man: *Driving a Taurus. He slows down as he gets behind a Corvette* Why is he slowing down?
Teenager: *Looking at the Ford behind him* Please don't be undercover, please don't be undercover!
Man: *Passes him*
Teenager: *Lets out a sigh of relief as he watches the Ford speed away from him*
Toyota
Old Man: *Turns left, passing a red light. He pushes a truck off the road* Learn how to drive!!
Man 53: *Looks at the dent on his truck* Jackass.
Honda
Lady: *Points at her Accord* This is the best car ever, because it's very fuel efficient.
Man: *Looks at his Volt* Yeah, sure.
Lady: (Dammit! He knows the truth! His car is better!!)
Hummer, yes people still drive these
Man: Alright!! I finished lifting the 600 pound weights. Now it's time to go to Wal-Mart and buy stuff!!
People: *Shopping at Wal-Mart*
Man: *Crashes into the front of the store* I WANT 60,000 CASES OF WATER!!! PRONTO!!!
Worker: They're in Aisle 12!
Man: DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!! And while you're at it, FILL UP MY HUMMER WITH DIESEL!!!!!!!!!!! I also need some Blu-Ray discs, a Blu-Ray player, and a large variety of food!
Worker: That probably explains why Ты crashed through the front of our store.
Not all Hummers run on diesel FYI.
Fiat
A hot chick with big breasts was walking towards a розовый Fiat 500.
Girl: *Grabs a dildo out of the перчатка, перчатки compartment, then puts the key in the ignition. She turns it, and as she hears the engine having trouble starting, she begins to masturbate with the dildo* Ah! Ah! *Turns the key again as she continues masturbating* Oh yes~!
Citroen
Girl: It's the same thing as Fiat, only in France.
Man 96: Does anyone even drive those?
Girl: I have a 2CV.
Man 96: ...of course Ты do.
Volkswagen
Girl: *In a '55 Beetle, masturbating as her car won't start* Ja, Ja! Jawohl! Das ist wunderbar!
Man 89: Das ist das gleiche Problem wie Fiat, aber in Deutschland.
Aston Martin
Man: *Steps out of his car, wearing a tuxedo*
Woman: *Sitting behind a computer* Have Ты found anything yet?
Man: I spotted our target's vehicle. It's parked in front of the casino. It may take a while for me to-
Man 43: *Steps out of his car*
Man: Never mind, I got a clear shot. *Shoots the man*
Woman: Ты were supposed to bring him in alive!
Man: I'm Daniel Craig, I don't care about bringing people in for questioning. I only care about murder.
Woman: *Facepalm*
And finally, Nissan
A doorbell rang, and the door was soon opened by none other than.........ThaSlimJim.
ThaSlimJim: Oh cool, Ты brought my pizza.
пицца Delivery Guy: Yes, I brought it in my new Altima.
ThaSlimJim: Holy shit dude, I have that car!
пицца Delivery Guy: Sick bro!
ThaSlimJim: Do Ты also like пицца too?
пицца Delivery Guy: Hell yeah dude, that's why I deliver it!
ThaSlimJim: Sick! Come on in, I got some marijuana!
пицца Delivery Guy: Rock on bro!!
6 hours later
пицца Delivery Guy: *Stoned as he walks back to his car*
ThaSlimJim: Yo, come back tomorrow with еще pizza!
пицца Delivery Guy: Sure thing bro. *Stumbles into his car, and drives away. He swerves down the road at 60 miles an hour*
---
еще Car Stereotypes
We have еще stereotypes for еще cars, coming your way.
Rolls-Royce
Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British Главная dear chap. Come this way and I'll Показать Ты what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a Золото frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.
GMC
Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: Ты scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes Ты did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: Ты need to be еще careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*
Dodge
Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.
Chevrolet
Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.
Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.
The first one.
Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if Ты have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Attendant: *Blushing*
2nd
Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel Ты bitch.
Mitsubishi
Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, или snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what Ты need for off road adventures.
Subaru
Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's сиденье, место, сиденья as he continues drifting*
And finally, BMW
I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some BMW drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what Ты will see actually happened to me recently.
Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a BMW X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are Ты doing?
Woman: Ты nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed by a Toyota*
Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If Ты want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved by driving like a jackass.
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted лосось (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed рис, райс in a рис, райс bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the рис, райс won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed рис, райс on your hand and put your Избранное filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled лосось on the rice. Push the filling into the рис, райс lightly. Hold the рис, райс between your palms. Form the рис, райс into a round, a triangle, или a cylinder by pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the рис, райс ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. заворачивать, обертывание the рис, райс ball with a strip of nori или sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly by americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: Ты got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I Любовь it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if Ты call right now we will also send Ты a what ever Ты call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 еще dollers shiping and handleing! Ты GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever Ты call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever Ты call it have Ты credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: Ты got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I Любовь it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if Ты call right now we will also send Ты a what ever Ты call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 еще dollers shiping and handleing! Ты GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever Ты call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever Ты call it have Ты credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL день BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST звезда IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all Ты have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! ГИР EVERYONE LOVES Ты THE MOST Ты HAVE THE MOST Фан GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some Фильмы i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some Аниме movies,titanic
Here is some Музыка i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some Книги i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some Фильмы i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some Аниме movies,titanic
Here is some Музыка i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some Книги i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
Well, I'm bored, and depressed, so I've decided to Список all the things I hate. Well, all the things I hate that I can think of!
1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound Ты get when Ты scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, Ты know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when Ты just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. рыба fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound Ты get when Ты scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, Ты know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when Ты just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. рыба fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
User: So your a robot?
Cleverbot: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.
User: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.
Cleverbot: I am a human and Ты are a robot.
User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.
Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. Ты are the robot here.
User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.
Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... Ты computer?
User: So your a robot?
Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.
User: So Ты admit that your a robot?
Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.
LOL yes fail I know
Cleverbot: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.
User: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.
Cleverbot: I am a human and Ты are a robot.
User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.
Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. Ты are the robot here.
User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.
Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... Ты computer?
User: So your a robot?
Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.
User: So Ты admit that your a robot?
Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.
LOL yes fail I know
My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The концерт Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 час Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There Пение I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're сиденье, место, сиденья Ooh K Then селезень, дрейк Sad Ты Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There селезень, дрейк Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The Фаны Фаны Was Пение Along Giving Him Цветы Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For Чтение And You're Comments
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.
1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that Ты have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask Вопросы to a magic 8 ball and take the Ответы seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when Ты find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when Ты see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a Болталка person!
1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that Ты have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask Вопросы to a magic 8 ball and take the Ответы seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when Ты find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when Ты see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a Болталка person!