день 1

Twilight: *breathes in fresh air* What a beautiful day.
Sean: Эй, Twilight! I have something that I know you'll like which is fitting for a princess well I gotta go bye! *runs 300 miles an hour*
Twilight: What is this? *looks at package* Hahaha. Kiss me I'm british? Well, Ты know what that means everypony that isn't a mare. Who's going to Kiss me? Huh? It could be anypony.. Except for Justin Beiber! AHHHH

90 минуты later

Sean: And so, every hater in the world went straight to hell for not liking My Little пони Friendship Is Magic.
Fluttershy & радуга Dash: Yaay!!
Sean: yay!
Twilight: SEAN!!
Sean: AH! Twilight!
Twilight: Ты little prick!! I'M GOING TO STEAL YOUR CAR, RUN Ты OVER WITH IT, AND BURN IT WITH Ты IN THE TRUNK!! Fuck you.
Fluttershy: I-is that y-your da-darkside Twilight?

день 2

Twilight: *breathes in fresh air* What a beautiful day.
Princess Celestia: Stop, I have to go.
Canterlot soldiers: *Stop*
Twilight: Is she doing what I think she is?
Celestia: *shits on Twilight*
Twilight: OHH GEEZ!!
Celestia: Oops.

день 3

Twilight: *breathes in fresh air* What a beautiful day.
monkeys: *stare at Twilight*
Twilight: What? Why do Ты have telephones on your head?

Soon the phones began to ring

Twilight: Ah *covers ears* That ringing is so loud.
Applejack: Эй, Twi?
Twilight: What?
Applejack, Rarity, & Pinkie Pie: ANSWER IT!

Those three also had phones on their head

Rarity: Hear, it's for you.
Twilight: *grabs phone*
operator: Thank Ты for calling our sex line. We have many mares that are looking вперед to giving Ты a good time.
Twilight: *hits Rarirty* Why would Ты do something like that?
monkeys: *leave* We're outta here. She hates our ways!
Applejack: Wait! She didn't mean Ты guys!
Twilight: God that was insane. еще insane then being with Applebloom.
Applebloom: Эй, Big Mac, where do Дети come from?
Big Mac: Oh for the Любовь of Celestia! Ты buy them at a store, just like everything else!
Twilight: Well, at least the ringing stopped.

But a telephone on Twilight's head went off.

Twilight: *goes angry* That's it! One of Ты put the phone on my head, and I know who it was! Ты forgot I have caller I.D!
Rarity: Not me! I don't even have a phone.
Pinkie Pie: Not me, my number is enlisted.
Applejack: And their certanly ain't no way it was me. Mah минуты are only free on weekends.
Twilight: IT WAS YOU!! *throws яблочная водка, яблоко, кальвадоса into air*
Applejack: HOW DID SHE KNOW?!!?
Twilight: What is the meaning of all this?! Is it like.. Put phones on ponies head day?
Pinkie Pie: If we told you, would it make this situation less awkward?
Twilight: *sighs* I don't know
Applejack: *falls on Twilight* Sorry sugarcube.
Twilight: Applejack! Get. Off. Me. Now!!

день 4

Twilight: What a, beautiful d-day?
Dragon: *flies toward Twilight*
Twilight: A dragon?! Now I know why Fluttershy is afraid of them!!
Dragon: That's right! And now you're going to pay the price.
Twilight: *crying* For what? Can't another пони pay the price? It's been happening to me all week
Dragon: *burns Twilight*
Twilight: OWW! I'm suing Sean the hedgehog for posting this! Wait! I'm suing all of Hasbro!!
радуга Dash: psh, she can't make up her mind.
Dragon: *stops burning Twilight*
Twilight: What do Ты want from me?
Dragon: Have Ты ever played Starfox Assault?
Twilight: No! I don't have time for that shit.
Dragon: *continues to burn Twilight*

2 секунды later

Twilight: Did some пони order fried alicorn? *falls on ground*

день 5

Twilight: I just don't get it. Everytime I say what a beautiful день it is, something bad happens. But wait, maybe if I say the opposite something good might happen. Yeah! I'll give it a try. What a terrible horrible no good really bad day!

Then something was falling from the sky

Twilight: Oh boy, what am I getting? *gets crushed by boulder* I'm still alive. How is that possible?

день 6

Twilight: *crying* This has been the worst week for me. Now I know why people hate Nicholas Cage.
Shining Armor: Twilight? What's wrong?
Twilight: Oh Shining Armor, all I wanted was a good day. But do I get one? Nnnoooooooo. My life has been ruined by a gay popstar, Celestia's shit, some phone obsessed imbecules, a огонь breathing dragon, and yesterday I got crushed by a boulder!
Shining Armor: Wow.
Twilight: Yeah. How can this get any worse?
japanese mafia: *driving toward Twilight*
Shining Armor: That's how, good luck! *leaves*
Twilight: Oh man. This has been quite a week
Japanese mafia: *kill Twilight Sparkle*

---

радуга Dash: Man, this week was boring.
Rarity: I know! It was like watching the season 3 finale.
Applejack: Let's complain about it!

And now I have someone at my doorstep

Whatever Ты do, don't call 9-1-1