Similar to "30 Things To Do During An Exam." Поиск for it in this club, it's way funnier. Apologies if this Список is a little outdated.
50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 минуты & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that Ты can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person Далее to Ты evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person Далее to Ты if they know how to tap into top-secret пятиугольник, пентагон files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people Ты don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before Ты turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why Ты have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 минуты at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time Ты press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal Далее to Ты (It helps if Ты know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around Пение "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates Ты and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo картридж, патрон into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When Ты are on an IBM, and when Ты turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling яблоко face is when Ты turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all Ты wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person Далее to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person Далее to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure Ты never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far еще effective to let them linger.
27. If Ты have long hair, take a typing break, look for трещина, сплит ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as Ты leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your стол письменный, стол and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of вверх of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Удалить key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever Ты hit a key, humits note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until Ты see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the Космос bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her Удалить key several times, erasing an entire word. While Ты do this, ask: "Does *your* Удалить key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the Космос bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the Космос bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on или around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's Далее to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as Ты go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a минута или two. Press return или the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start Письмо on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of Цветы in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and Kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me that computer или you'll be feeding my pet крокодил for the Далее week".
50. Two words: Tesla Coil.
50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 минуты & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that Ты can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person Далее to Ты evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person Далее to Ты if they know how to tap into top-secret пятиугольник, пентагон files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people Ты don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before Ты turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why Ты have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 минуты at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time Ты press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal Далее to Ты (It helps if Ты know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around Пение "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates Ты and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo картридж, патрон into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When Ты are on an IBM, and when Ты turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling яблоко face is when Ты turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all Ты wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person Далее to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person Далее to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure Ты never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far еще effective to let them linger.
27. If Ты have long hair, take a typing break, look for трещина, сплит ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as Ты leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your стол письменный, стол and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of вверх of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Удалить key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever Ты hit a key, humits note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until Ты see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the Космос bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her Удалить key several times, erasing an entire word. While Ты do this, ask: "Does *your* Удалить key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the Космос bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the Космос bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on или around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's Далее to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as Ты go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a минута или two. Press return или the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start Письмо on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of Цветы in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and Kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me that computer или you'll be feeding my pet крокодил for the Далее week".
50. Two words: Tesla Coil.
Emma Hewitt
