Болталка Club
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service стол письменный, стол and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid или a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.

7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.

8. Переместить a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick Ты out

10. Set up a tent in the camping department

11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.

13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t Ты people just leave me alone?

14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

17. See what Ты can “catch” by casting fishing poles into different isles.

18. Play football and see how many people Ты can get to Присоединиться in.

19. Play Футбол using the whole store as your field

20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.

21. Try to get people to race Ты across the store.

22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.

23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks Ты get

24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up

25. Switch all the radios to strange stations such as polka или Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.

26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.

27. When someone is behind Ты in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.

28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.

30. Walk up to Болталка strangers and say “I haven’t seen Ты in so long!” etc.

31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.

32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that they’re playing.

33. Test brushes and combs

34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Герои battle of epic proportions.

35. Take bets on the battle.

36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.

37. Follow people.

38. Play with the price scanners.

39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.

40. Play with the automatic doors.

41. Make a подушка fort.

43. Shopping тележка, корзина races. Enough said.

44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.

48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s

49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.

50. When someone steps away from their тележка, корзина to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

51. Run around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let’s go to target!

52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another Конфеты bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until Ты get bored.

53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a Еда court, buy a soft drink; explain that Ты don’t get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.

58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 минуты about unicorns.

59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming “Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys bananas.
(This is a new series where I negatively review classic stories. And yes, I do like this story and I will like all the others I will do in the future, but I just thought this was a fun idea so... There Ты go.)

So I'm pretty sure by now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a волк and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)

BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing...
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posted by yamishadow2001
(Note: I will swear i might rage a bit but B-E-A-R with me get it? No okay...)

Story: Ты are playing as a security guard to work the night shift from 12 AM-6 AM your goal try to survive the night with a certain amount of power without getting killed for 5 nights... или 7 we will get to that in a минута and who is trying kill apparently "Kid Friendly" animtronics that we will also get to in a минута as well so that is the story pretty much.

Characters: The characters are Ты of course. Troll: We all know that dumbass hur hur hur! Oh shut up!*clears throat* as I was saying there is the phone guy...
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posted by lexidude92
Everyone is sitting on a диван, мягкий уголок (being bored)

Libra: What's on on tv?
Virgo: Nothing right now, just keep on daydreaming...
Cancer: THERE'S NOTHING TO DREAM ABOUT!!
Leo: I agree with Cancer, I'm bored, let's watch some tv или go outside to get some fresh air.
Sagittarius: I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Leo.
Aries: usually, there is no fresh air outside.
Leo: No, actually, Ты can't see how fresh the air is out there.
Sagittarius: What?
Leo: *sighs*, your deaf, arn't you?
Sagittarius: No.
Aquarius: I'd listen to some songs...
Leo: nah, I'm fine.
Virgo: at 4:30 we can watch tv.
Leo: why?
Virgo: because....
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Out in the darkness, someone is rending the silence
Awakening this planet from its sleep
Who is it?

Look, evil spirits are right before you
There's nowhere to run, so take 'em straight on!
Someone tells me to erase my "worries" and "fear"
We reconstruct our minds
Clench your fists strongly
Believe in the bonds between us
And fight!

So all I can do
And all Ты can do
Is spread your wings and transform
Take the anger piercing your сердце and turn it into strength
Now all I can do
And all Ты can do
Is shine and transform
To the stage of evolution
Touch and go!

Listen closely! It's a new "beginning"
Why do Ты think...
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Dating Version 2.0: Modern Dating

Some of the old ways of dating could be use an upgrade. Welcome 2014 with these new and improved rules!

For most of us, the best--and usually our first--source of our dating Совет is our family. We rely on the experiences and wise words of Mom, Sister, and in some cases even Grandmother, for the do's and don'ts of boys and relationships. But as years pass by, it might be time to rule out some of Mom's and Grandma's old (and old-fashioned) rules on dating and come up with reasonable guidelines that appeal to еще modern minds.

The Old Way:
~Date only boys who...
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For a while, I've been thinking of making an Статья on my influential celebs and here they are. This Список is just on entertainers. I'm not the biggest celebrity person, but these have inspired me in some sort of way and I Любовь them! Instead of putting trashy people and basic bitches (whose names I won't name) on a pedestal, here are some people I'd like to talk about who should get some credit for the great individuals that they are. I'd also like to add that it's just my opinion and I'd Любовь to hear what you've got to say.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

 The Realist
The Realist


Emma Watson
Emma Watson is one...
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posted by cuteasprincie
Survey reveals вверх 50 funniest jokes ever told

[HK]

A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told. Researchers examined еще than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Source: Onepoll.com

Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had by far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay and Lee Evans.

Jokes ranged from the legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu' - to ones about wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.

The study was...
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