Why is it that when someone tells Ты that there are over a billion stars in the universe, Ты believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, Ты have to touch it to make sure?
In case Ты needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- Ты could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson Холодное сердце dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's тирамису Десерт (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer хлеб пудинг -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and Ты thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me еще time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car или operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of Рождество lights -- "For indoor или outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese Еда processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's Peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's Супермен costume -- "Wearing of this одежда, одежды does not enable Ты to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean кухня knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten Остаться в живых in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands или genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case Ты needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- Ты could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson Холодное сердце dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's тирамису Десерт (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer хлеб пудинг -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and Ты thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me еще time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car или operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of Рождество lights -- "For indoor или outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese Еда processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's Peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's Супермен costume -- "Wearing of this одежда, одежды does not enable Ты to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean кухня knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten Остаться в живых in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands или genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
1- beat your sister below.
2- shout at your computer "you're stupid".
3- paint your room Стена with black one.
4- switch on and off the lamp many times.
5- put your rubbish Далее to your neighbours door.
Lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!
6- dress up your mom clothes and sunglasses.
7- snooze in your dad hair.
8- take your brother below and hide it.
9- iron your sister clothes and let them burn.
10- hold your breathe.
It's my own article
they are my ideas
wait еще I'll write more
2- shout at your computer "you're stupid".
3- paint your room Стена with black one.
4- switch on and off the lamp many times.
5- put your rubbish Далее to your neighbours door.
Lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!
6- dress up your mom clothes and sunglasses.
7- snooze in your dad hair.
8- take your brother below and hide it.
9- iron your sister clothes and let them burn.
10- hold your breathe.
It's my own article
they are my ideas
wait еще I'll write more
A wife arrived Главная and found her husband in постель, кровати with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop! Please! Ты aren't going to cut it off, are you?" Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied, "Of course not! I'm going to set огонь to the shed. Ты do whatever Ты have to do!"
