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1. At the movies: When Ты meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are Ты doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t Ты try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When Ты ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a Пароль other than "password" или "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits Далее to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be еще imaginative.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some еще excuses.

I will do less laundry and use еще deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did Ты get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A пингвин rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four Вопросы to determine the level of your intellect. Your Ответы must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating или wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: Ты are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in секунда place.
In which position are Ты now?

Answer:

If Ты answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. Ты overtook the секунда runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the Далее Вопрос try not to be so dumb.

2 : If Ты overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked by his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes Главная and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother Ответы " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad Ответы "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she Ответы "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she Ответы "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? Ты know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let Ты go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are Ты enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling Ты how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
Okay so if Ты live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The Далее day, cut the balloons off and Ты got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when Ты can barely Переместить as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual Вопрос дана on a университет of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) или endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) или some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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