E.T

added by jinniesathot

i cracked up at the last scene omfg

video

Болталка

Музыка

song

funny

5

10 Things Not to do in a Lightsaber Battle

posted by spongefan612

Hello there. Here is a Список about what not to do with a lightsaber. Our intern Bob will demonstrate. :D

1. Never hold your lightsaber upside down

Bob: *holds upside down* OWWWWWWW MY HANDS! D:

2. Never play with your lightsaber

Bob: Look I can throw my lightsaber! :D *throws*
AAAAH MY SHOULDER!

3. Never get distracted during the battle

Bob: duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh *does nothing*
*opponent kills Bob* Don't worry, he'll resurrect :D

4. Never bring a mini-lightsaber

Bob: Look at my mini-lightsaber! :D
Opponent: That thing is useless! *kills*

5. Overkill is good :D (plus breaking the rules for something Ты should...

13

Chuck Norris Jokes

posted by Alma_

Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear Супермен pajamas. Супермен wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do Ты know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' Избранное Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a лодка he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

7

6 Ways On How To Deal With акула Attacks:

posted by Liepe

I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if Ты do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!
__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With акула Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of акула attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if Ты are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...

5

Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student

posted by 214

THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual Вопрос дана on a университет of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) или endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) или some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...

1

DORA THE EXPLORER THEME SONG LYRICS!

posted by invadercalliope

I HOPE Ты ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!

Ты can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!

2

Chuck Norris Jokes

posted by cutiegirl01

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If Ты can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If Ты can't see Chuck Norris Ты may be only секунды away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...

4

вверх 25 ways to drive your roommate crazy!!!!!!!!

posted by karpach_14

вверх 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time Ты wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say Ты don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...

18

79 things to do in an Elevator

posted by catgirl140

79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your портфель или handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the Стена without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him или her to call Ты Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...

2

A Story Which I Used a Fanfiction Generator to Create

posted by animemaykat101

I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was Рождество Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute лодка hanging on the Рождество дерево and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of ром into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at Рождество time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...

29

100 Ways to Order a пицца

posted by Shelly_McShelly

1. If using a touch-tone, press Болталка numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival пицца place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their Вопросы with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...

52

Ways to Torture the пицца Guy

posted by BellaCullen96

Act like Ты know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: пицца becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their Вопросы with questions.
Ask about пицца maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...

1

A Tribute to My Избранное Бэтмен and Riddler

posted by mrcodegeass

Several actors have played Batman. There have been over five live action versions of Бэтмен as well as various voice actors. People often discuss about which Бэтмен actor is the best. I think that the best is Adam West.

1. Adam West stood out еще than any other Бэтмен actor

Adam West got to play Бэтмен in a Показать that lasted over 100 episodes. That gave him plenty of time for his version of Бэтмен to be memorable. Later on he got to voice Бэтмен in Мультики which gave him a chance to play various versions of Batman. All of his performances as Бэтмен are a memorable treat.

The other live action...

Canada24's opinion of most awful stories in SERIOUSLY STRANGE and SERIAL CASE FILES

posted by Canada24

I know. I know.. еще Rob Dyke..But this a very interesting list..
It's not played for laughs.. This s meant to serious..

WARNING: Disturbing Content

#10: ANGRY GAMER DAD:
Normally something like this would be a morbid joke.. But this really happed..

So basically a toddler mistakingly unplugged the xbox. And it's father, who was playing it, beats the living shit out of her.. Killing her..

#9: EDMUND KEMBER:
Edmund lived with a controlling, abusive, сука mother. And this caused him to kill.. Starting with his grandma. Who he gunned down after a intense argument, saying "I wanted to know what it...

20 CINEMA SNOB Цитаты

posted by Canada24

#1: GODS NOT DEAD:
Snob: To help his case, Josh points out a Steven Hawking quote.. Cause as a atheist Ты have to believe every quote Hawking ever сказал(-а) ever. Other wise God is real.

#2: GODS CLUB:
Michael: Before we begin. I wanna take a moment of silence.
Snob: Well, okay, nothing wrong there.
Student: (storms out, offended)
Snob: Oh yeah, this movie doesn't take place in reality.

#3: GODS NOT DEAD:
Snob: So professor Robbinson has everyone sign a paper saying "Gods not dead". So God will not be a debate. Whatever dipshit, your the one who brought it up.

#4: GODS NOT DEAD:
Josh: it was сказал(-а) that...

1

Lyrics to "I Любовь you" axwell ingrosso

posted by 1012jackson

I Любовь you
Even though I don't like Ты right now
I want you
Even though Ты keep breaking me down
We got
Really high highs
Really low lows
But I still Любовь you
Even though I don't like Ты right now

I was tryna save us
But Ты got me looking like the villain
I had a couple mixed drinks
Now I got a couple mixed feelings
I Любовь it, I Любовь it
You know just how to fit in that dress
Then, I don't like it, I don't like it
Wish they had a button for your Instagram pic
We argue about this and that when
You say Ты need a different address
Break up to make up
Hit the mattress
Wake up and Ты don't remember half of
The whole...

4

A Poem Entirely Composed of Song Lyrics

posted by deathding

(Songs and commentary will be listed after the poem. Enjoy!)

1-Welcome to your life,
2-Burning red and honestly.
3-How pure the darkness,
4-If Ты ignore the terminology.

5-Your toxic stare,
6-Up against the wall.
7-Now that you're gone forever,
8-You're just a know it all.

9-I used to roll the dice,
10-Like as not it's better so.
11-This is my curse,
12-I've many еще miles to go.

13-I don't want to live another moment,
14-But can Ты see that I'm in real danger.
15-My legs are dangling off the edge,
16-Her eyes were eyes of a stranger.

17-So much for your promises,
18-The poison цветок comes uncurled.
19-Now...

2

попугай and Cat

added by tanyya

10 really depressing things about RED DEAD REDEMPTION:

posted by Canada24

1:
Out of all of the Stranger missions, the happiest one has Ты reunite a zoophile with his Избранное horse. Almost all of them are grim and depressing, and when Ты do the "right" thing, Ты often end up making people's lives worse. Ты give Jenny some medicine but she doesn't go with Ты to town, is left wondering around forever. The guy who Ты helped make his flying mechine only ends up dying. And Sam slowly loses his mind in his journey to California.

#2:
Birth of the Conservation Movement. You've just killed all but one of the peaceful Sasquatch, and the last one is distraught and begging...

IMG 1141.JPG

added by DisneyPrince88

7

The Art Of Clickbait (A Deathding Original)

posted by deathding

Picture this. You're a newspaper boy in the 1880's and your headlines just don't seem to be selling as well as they used to. Therefore, your company decides to change things up and start lying just a LITTLE bit.

...Well, at least of your definition of lying a LITTLE bit is completely changing the Название of your papers to something amusing and spreading misinformation just to rake in еще cash from the public. And mine is!

So today, people. We're going to go dive headfirst into the world of clickbait. But first and foremost, the most important Вопрос of them all.

What exactly IS clickbait?

Basically...