"Shelby?" Sage asked quietly, coming into my room. "Can I ask Ты something?" I sat up on my bed.
"Sure," I sighed, not so enthusiastic; but I was trying not to be so irritable all the time. Sage came in front of the bed, then plopped down on the floor in front of me.
"What's that stuff Ты take?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do Ты mean, Sage?"
"You know, that stuff Ты take," she said. "Like this." She put her palm to her nose, and inhaled deeply. My сердце fell into my stomach. I quickly fell down to her height, and grabbed her shoulders.
"Sage. How do Ты know about that," I сказал(-а) urgently. She frowned at me.
"I saw you," she whined, like she was in trouble; when in reality, I was the one in deep trouble. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I сказал(-а) quickly. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Understand?" Despite my urgency, she didn't seem to see what the big deal was.
"Ok, but wh---"
"Sage," I breathed, my voice trembling. "Do not. Say. A word... Ты promise?" Sage sighed.
"I guess." She stood up and left. I could only stare after her. What if she told someone? What if she told Paige? или Blair или James? I'd be dead. I could only hope that Sage kept her promise and didn't tell anyone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Needing relief, I went and grabbed the bad underneath my подушка case.
***
I got off the bus, looking around for my friends. I saw Rigby and Jordan over away from the others. I went over to them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said. "Where's Carissa?" Rigby and Jordan looked at each other, their faces grave.
"Carissa's dead," Jordan сказал(-а) in a monotone. "She O.D.'ed last night." It felt like my сердце just froze over.
"What?" I whispered. "She's... She's dead?" Rigby nodded. My head swirled. I'd talked to Carissa just yesterday. In that amount of time, she'd Остаться в живых her life. Rigby sighed.
"Get over it, Shelby," he shook his head. "It happens." It felt like he'd just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. How could he say that?! Carissa was one of the most nicest people I'd ever met! And now she was dead?! How could he stand there and say it was no big deal? She'd never grow up now; have a family and kids! She was only thirteen! The колокол, колокольчик, белл rang, and Jordan and Rigby headed off. Jordan patted my shoulder once, a sad smile on his lips.
Needing relief, but feeling a little worried, I took a little bit of cocaine before class. It was nowhere near as much as I used to take; just enough to take the edge off a bit.
I couldn't pay attention in class, even if I wanted to that day. I could only think about Carissa. What would she have done today if she hadn't died? What had happened afterwards? Did her grandmother find her asleep in her room, only to find out her granddaughter was actually dying?
"Students are to remain in their class rooms for the Далее hour," the principal droned over the announcements. "There's a drug Поиск being held, and all students are to remain in their classrooms." I felt the blood rush to my face as the teacher explained further; the police were here with the drug sniffing dogs. My drugs were in my locker. Right. Now. I felt like I was going to be sick again. My trembling hand went up.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"You can't, Shelby. Ты can go in an hour," she said, then went on with the Назад lesson. I held my head in my hands, trying to stay conscious.
"I need to go to the nurse," I tried.
"I'm sure you're fine, Shelby," the teacher sighed. "If Ты still don't feel well later, Ты can go. But for now everyone needs to stay in the classroom." It felt like a hole was being burned into my stomach. If I didn't do something now, I was going to lose it.
Before I was aware what was going on, I found myself in the hallway. I was running. I had no idea how I got there, или why I was running, but the shouting behind me only confirmed the idea that I should keep running. Then I remembered, and ran to my locker. Maybe I could get back before the police saw me. I fumbled with the lock, dialing in the combination. I pulled up, but I'd screwed up the combination and it remained locked.
"...23...18...5---" I was pulled back, by great force. I looked up in shock to see a police man, and he looked at the cop Далее to him, holding the leash. The other man let the dog sniff my locker, and after only a few seconds, the dog was barking. The cop holding me back looked down at me.
"You're under arrest."
"Sure," I sighed, not so enthusiastic; but I was trying not to be so irritable all the time. Sage came in front of the bed, then plopped down on the floor in front of me.
"What's that stuff Ты take?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do Ты mean, Sage?"
"You know, that stuff Ты take," she said. "Like this." She put her palm to her nose, and inhaled deeply. My сердце fell into my stomach. I quickly fell down to her height, and grabbed her shoulders.
"Sage. How do Ты know about that," I сказал(-а) urgently. She frowned at me.
"I saw you," she whined, like she was in trouble; when in reality, I was the one in deep trouble. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I сказал(-а) quickly. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Understand?" Despite my urgency, she didn't seem to see what the big deal was.
"Ok, but wh---"
"Sage," I breathed, my voice trembling. "Do not. Say. A word... Ты promise?" Sage sighed.
"I guess." She stood up and left. I could only stare after her. What if she told someone? What if she told Paige? или Blair или James? I'd be dead. I could only hope that Sage kept her promise and didn't tell anyone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Needing relief, I went and grabbed the bad underneath my подушка case.
***
I got off the bus, looking around for my friends. I saw Rigby and Jordan over away from the others. I went over to them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said. "Where's Carissa?" Rigby and Jordan looked at each other, their faces grave.
"Carissa's dead," Jordan сказал(-а) in a monotone. "She O.D.'ed last night." It felt like my сердце just froze over.
"What?" I whispered. "She's... She's dead?" Rigby nodded. My head swirled. I'd talked to Carissa just yesterday. In that amount of time, she'd Остаться в живых her life. Rigby sighed.
"Get over it, Shelby," he shook his head. "It happens." It felt like he'd just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. How could he say that?! Carissa was one of the most nicest people I'd ever met! And now she was dead?! How could he stand there and say it was no big deal? She'd never grow up now; have a family and kids! She was only thirteen! The колокол, колокольчик, белл rang, and Jordan and Rigby headed off. Jordan patted my shoulder once, a sad smile on his lips.
Needing relief, but feeling a little worried, I took a little bit of cocaine before class. It was nowhere near as much as I used to take; just enough to take the edge off a bit.
I couldn't pay attention in class, even if I wanted to that day. I could only think about Carissa. What would she have done today if she hadn't died? What had happened afterwards? Did her grandmother find her asleep in her room, only to find out her granddaughter was actually dying?
"Students are to remain in their class rooms for the Далее hour," the principal droned over the announcements. "There's a drug Поиск being held, and all students are to remain in their classrooms." I felt the blood rush to my face as the teacher explained further; the police were here with the drug sniffing dogs. My drugs were in my locker. Right. Now. I felt like I was going to be sick again. My trembling hand went up.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"You can't, Shelby. Ты can go in an hour," she said, then went on with the Назад lesson. I held my head in my hands, trying to stay conscious.
"I need to go to the nurse," I tried.
"I'm sure you're fine, Shelby," the teacher sighed. "If Ты still don't feel well later, Ты can go. But for now everyone needs to stay in the classroom." It felt like a hole was being burned into my stomach. If I didn't do something now, I was going to lose it.
Before I was aware what was going on, I found myself in the hallway. I was running. I had no idea how I got there, или why I was running, but the shouting behind me only confirmed the idea that I should keep running. Then I remembered, and ran to my locker. Maybe I could get back before the police saw me. I fumbled with the lock, dialing in the combination. I pulled up, but I'd screwed up the combination and it remained locked.
"...23...18...5---" I was pulled back, by great force. I looked up in shock to see a police man, and he looked at the cop Далее to him, holding the leash. The other man let the dog sniff my locker, and after only a few seconds, the dog was barking. The cop holding me back looked down at me.
"You're under arrest."
she unloads his gun
She and he waits for this
he releases his love
In blue and green orbs
she gives him еще and more
A million miles away
A million years girl
In a black woven chest
he digs his nails deep
She trusts in him for what he does
live in a house in the suburbs
He kisses the pain with blood and light
sleeping it off in the morning
A million miles away
A million years girl
In her world of his
she unloads his gun
In a world of his
she covers the sun
A million miles away
A million years
A million years girl
Well Ты see
I'm not myself anymore
Well Ты can see
What I've done
Blinded myself
Остаться в живых my direction
In this times
That are getting cold
In this moment
To behold
And shine
Here's a poem
For all the loved ones
Here's a grave
For all the dead
Here's the oxygen
For all the living
Here's a tissue
For tears that are shed
I'm Остаться в живых now
I'm here now
I'm Остаться в живых here
By Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Остаться в живых again
I'm lost
By myself
Well take your houses
Take your money
Take the things Ты don't need
Live the life
You've always wanted
And then burn the memories
Take the good times and the bad
Take the happy maybe the sad
And turn, turn yourself around
I'm Остаться в живых in my own fairytale
Where I'm the winner
All over again
in my daydreams I've Остаться в живых all hope
All ambition
Looking and losing an only friend
I'm Остаться в живых now
I'm here now
I'm Остаться в живых here
By Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Остаться в живых again
I'm lost
By myself
I'm lost
I'm here
I'm Остаться в живых here
By myself
I'm Остаться в живых now
I'm here now
I'm Остаться в живых here
By myself
By myself
I'm not myself anymore
Well Ты can see
What I've done
Blinded myself
Остаться в живых my direction
In this times
That are getting cold
In this moment
To behold
And shine
Here's a poem
For all the loved ones
Here's a grave
For all the dead
Here's the oxygen
For all the living
Here's a tissue
For tears that are shed
I'm Остаться в живых now
I'm here now
I'm Остаться в живых here
By Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Остаться в живых again
I'm lost
By myself
Well take your houses
Take your money
Take the things Ты don't need
Live the life
You've always wanted
And then burn the memories
Take the good times and the bad
Take the happy maybe the sad
And turn, turn yourself around
I'm Остаться в живых in my own fairytale
Where I'm the winner
All over again
in my daydreams I've Остаться в живых all hope
All ambition
Looking and losing an only friend
I'm Остаться в живых now
I'm here now
I'm Остаться в живых here
By Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Остаться в живых again
I'm lost
By myself
I'm lost
I'm here
I'm Остаться в живых here
By myself
I'm Остаться в живых now
I'm here now
I'm Остаться в живых here
By myself
By myself