HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE
1. Examine the software packaging until Ты find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system Ты need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR или HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK Космос
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette или a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's Главная and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it или leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If Ты have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, Ты idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. Ты will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After Ты make your selection, Ты will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a Еда processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. Ты may now attempt to run your software. If Ты experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, или intestinal parasites, Ты should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
1. Examine the software packaging until Ты find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system Ты need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR или HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK Космос
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette или a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's Главная and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it или leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If Ты have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, Ты idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. Ты will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After Ты make your selection, Ты will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a Еда processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. Ты may now attempt to run your software. If Ты experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, или intestinal parasites, Ты should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
Ashley:Okay,lets see there's,a four год old Amber,
A 12 год old Kennedy,A 5 год old Harper,And then there's 9 год old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her Куклы back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do Ты want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in тостер for half a minute.
*Ten минуты later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do Ты know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked Ты as the Babysitter cause Ты have 7 siblings and Ты all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
A 12 год old Kennedy,A 5 год old Harper,And then there's 9 год old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her Куклы back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do Ты want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in тостер for half a minute.
*Ten минуты later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do Ты know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked Ты as the Babysitter cause Ты have 7 siblings and Ты all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
1. Ты grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. Ты take фото of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when Ты sneeze.
5. Ты don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at Starbucks and Ты don’t even work there.
7. Ты spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your Кошки are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. Ты can’t even remember your секунда cup.
10. Ты can jump-start your car without cables.
*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. Ты take фото of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when Ты sneeze.
5. Ты don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at Starbucks and Ты don’t even work there.
7. Ты spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your Кошки are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. Ты can’t even remember your секунда cup.
10. Ты can jump-start your car without cables.
*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
Yes indeed, Rebecca has become famous thanks to her annoying song Friday and has got a record deal for a Cd with five еще songs, can Ты believe it? :/
Rebecca, is known-for and hated for “Friday”, she has even сказал(-а) that she doesn't like the song....we're not sure we believe that.
So on her Далее CD Rebecca promises to have a еще natural sound than in Friday, and that she, at least, will like her songs....it's amazing how much power the Internet has! It makes and breaks stars.
source: europapress
I was walking Главная from walmart when a carrot fell from the sky and started talking to me then an air raid siren went off and flying pigs were dropping sausage rolls that blew up into smiley faces when they hit the ground then a кит drove by in his sedan and сказал(-а) happy Хэллоуин to me then micheal Jackson did the moonwalk on the moon with a cow.
I was like wow I went Главная and played wit my xbox, PIE!
And a cat grew a рыба tail and swam away from a basketball
Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!
Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
I was like wow I went Главная and played wit my xbox, PIE!
And a cat grew a рыба tail and swam away from a basketball
Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!
Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
Hi everyone this is the Invader Calliope show!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and L then Mellow then Near!
I do Любовь Misa though!
I Любовь рис, райс balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I Любовь my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I Любовь the colors: лайм, известь Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I Любовь the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and L then Mellow then Near!
I do Любовь Misa though!
I Любовь рис, райс balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I Любовь my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I Любовь the colors: лайм, известь Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I Любовь the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Miss Carey: Here are your costumes for the play children. Come and see!
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own лебедь costume. Look at my оранжевый beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here Ты are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look еще ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own лебедь costume. Look at my оранжевый beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here Ты are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look еще ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?