HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE
1. Examine the software packaging until Ты find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system Ты need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR или HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK Космос
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette или a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's Главная and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it или leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If Ты have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, Ты idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. Ты will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After Ты make your selection, Ты will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a Еда processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. Ты may now attempt to run your software. If Ты experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, или intestinal parasites, Ты should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
1. Examine the software packaging until Ты find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system Ты need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR или HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK Космос
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette или a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's Главная and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it или leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If Ты have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, Ты idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. Ты will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After Ты make your selection, Ты will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a Еда processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. Ты may now attempt to run your software. If Ты experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, или intestinal parasites, Ты should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
(name unknown for now)
Dear, What ever
I am new to this,but I have to try this I can't keep my thoughts in.
And I can't tell anyone so here is what I call an Intro...
Sup,My name is Zain fox.Ah,hell I'll tell Ты my full name.
Zain samuel fox
DONT LAUGH! I am goin' crazy...talking to some book.
I am a very tell Ты what I think guy.
Oh and did I tell you,I am a fucking vampire.
I am new but freakishly strong.
I don't have a girl anymore cus this stupied crave I can't control...
And no I didn't eat her,I left town and she thinks I'm dead.
But she is the most beautiful person Ты will ever lay your eyes on,and her name is Jade.
Even if I stay this thing that jerk turned me into,I will never forget my Любовь even if I live forever.
See ya,
Zain
P.S
I feel like a girl. Stupied diary!
Dear, What ever
I am new to this,but I have to try this I can't keep my thoughts in.
And I can't tell anyone so here is what I call an Intro...
Sup,My name is Zain fox.Ah,hell I'll tell Ты my full name.
Zain samuel fox
DONT LAUGH! I am goin' crazy...talking to some book.
I am a very tell Ты what I think guy.
Oh and did I tell you,I am a fucking vampire.
I am new but freakishly strong.
I don't have a girl anymore cus this stupied crave I can't control...
And no I didn't eat her,I left town and she thinks I'm dead.
But she is the most beautiful person Ты will ever lay your eyes on,and her name is Jade.
Even if I stay this thing that jerk turned me into,I will never forget my Любовь even if I live forever.
See ya,
Zain
P.S
I feel like a girl. Stupied diary!
Hopefully I will have another chapter soon, but this story is awfully difficult to write so I'll have to leave Ты hanging. I think my Название is reasonable (I think my descripton will be something like 'It's сказал(-а) that even the smallest thing has an effect similar to dropping a stone in a pond - it causes a ripple that effects everyone in one way или another.') but please give me feedback.
This just the prologue, but please let me know what Ты think!
***************
We were only young. We didn't know what was ahead of us. We were blind. If we had have opened our eyes we could have stopped what happened. We could have stopped that stone from being thrown in our calm lake.
But it happened, and that's something none of us can accept, even after all these years. I look at the фото on my end таблица and wonder what could have been. She was the light of our lives, and we didn't even know until she was gone.
This just the prologue, but please let me know what Ты think!
***************
We were only young. We didn't know what was ahead of us. We were blind. If we had have opened our eyes we could have stopped what happened. We could have stopped that stone from being thrown in our calm lake.
But it happened, and that's something none of us can accept, even after all these years. I look at the фото on my end таблица and wonder what could have been. She was the light of our lives, and we didn't even know until she was gone.
Thanksgiving is my Избранное holiday, well, one of them, wanna know wy? cause for desert, Ты get pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D!
"hello there pie, are Ты ready to be eaten?"
"yes i am" сказал(-а) the pie. it was тыква pie, my fav.
"your the best thing thats ever been invented! i Любовь you!
"well, instead of thanking the guy who made pies, go thank the guy who made pumpkins!
"oh yeah, huh?
"what are Ты doing?" my sister came intothe kitchen.
"talking to my friend."
"the pie?"
"yeah"
"well, its ready to be eaten"
"OH BOY!! PIE!!!! YEAH!!" Then i started running aroung the house like and idiot lol.
i was SOOOO BORED, so thtas why i made this. blablablabla
"hello there pie, are Ты ready to be eaten?"
"yes i am" сказал(-а) the pie. it was тыква pie, my fav.
"your the best thing thats ever been invented! i Любовь you!
"well, instead of thanking the guy who made pies, go thank the guy who made pumpkins!
"oh yeah, huh?
"what are Ты doing?" my sister came intothe kitchen.
"talking to my friend."
"the pie?"
"yeah"
"well, its ready to be eaten"
"OH BOY!! PIE!!!! YEAH!!" Then i started running aroung the house like and idiot lol.
i was SOOOO BORED, so thtas why i made this. blablablabla
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