HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE
1. Examine the software packaging until Ты find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system Ты need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR или HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK Космос
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette или a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's Главная and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it или leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If Ты have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, Ты idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. Ты will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After Ты make your selection, Ты will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a Еда processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. Ты may now attempt to run your software. If Ты experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, или intestinal parasites, Ты should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
1. Examine the software packaging until Ты find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system Ты need to run the software. It should look something like this:
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR или HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK Космос
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.
2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.
3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette или a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:
LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's Главная and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it или leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.
4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."
5. If Ты have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
6. Turn the computer on, Ты idiot.
7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.
8. Ты will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:
The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+
9. After Ты make your selection, Ты will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a Еда processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."
10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:
CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. Ты may now attempt to run your software. If Ты experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, или intestinal parasites, Ты should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.
11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.
12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.
The key is in how the relationship has ended. It's important that there is no anger and no one has cheated. If this is true for Ты then it is еще than possible that with a little time Ты two can go back to being friends.
Друзья and just friends. Ты must be clear about what Ты want. Sometimes when we pretend to want to be Друзья with our ex, we are really looking to get back together. Sometimes this is what Ты want and it works, but if it goes wrong then things will be even worse.
Give him space. If after some time apart Ты still want to continue to spend time together without wanting to be a couple, then Ты are ready to be Друзья again!
-source: justjared T.V show<>
Hey everyone!!This is the story of the time I was at Wal-Mart with some Друзья and the огонь alarm went off but nobody cared and a baby died!
So anyway me and my friend Gyrrrrrrlllllllll were at Wal-Mart stealing stuff when the огонь alarm went off.It was so funny cause nobody knew what to do.We were all just standing there not moving.It would have been еще funny to Ты if Ты *had've been there.
*I don't even think this is a word!
The End.
Nevermind.Fanpop сказал(-а) this Статья is too short.Now what?That's all I had to say.Maybe if I say KITTENS!!!That will work.
So anyway me and my friend Gyrrrrrrlllllllll were at Wal-Mart stealing stuff when the огонь alarm went off.It was so funny cause nobody knew what to do.We were all just standing there not moving.It would have been еще funny to Ты if Ты *had've been there.
*I don't even think this is a word!
The End.
Nevermind.Fanpop сказал(-а) this Статья is too short.Now what?That's all I had to say.Maybe if I say KITTENS!!!That will work.
She's been married for a couple months now, but still can’t get used to calling him her husband.
“I forget to call him ‘my husband’ sometimes and still say ‘my boyfriend’. But I’ll get there,” she said.
This can happen to anyone we suppose, it takes a while to get used to the idea of being a wife.
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Yesterday, Demi Lovato talked about the nominees for the American Музыка Awards coming up on the 21st of November.
It will be really exciting, because in the category for Best Female Popstar we have Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry!
In the category for Best Male Artist we have to choose between Justin Bieber, his friend Ашер and Eminem. Who will win?
And as far as Artist of the Year, it is between Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Кеша and Eminem. An interesting mix and tough competition.
Ты can vote for your избранное on the event webpage here: American Музыка Awards.
It will be really exciting, because in the category for Best Female Popstar we have Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry!
In the category for Best Male Artist we have to choose between Justin Bieber, his friend Ашер and Eminem. Who will win?
And as far as Artist of the Year, it is between Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Кеша and Eminem. An interesting mix and tough competition.
Ты can vote for your избранное on the event webpage here: American Музыка Awards.
5 еще incredibly Болталка stuff...I'd like to note that not everything listed is exactly possible, but each is genuinely unique and Болталка in it's own way....
5) wear a nametag that reads "hello. My name is Иисус Christ" (or famous person) when some one says "you're not Jesus" turn around and say "Jesus? Where?"
4) befriend a zombie (don't try unless you're okay with being bitten)
3) give out autographs to complete strangers and pretend you're famous
2) divide by zero (it's a little harder than it looks)
1) walk up behind someone and whisper in their ear "I like mudkips...."
Lots of laughs...I recommend 3, 2 and 1
5) wear a nametag that reads "hello. My name is Иисус Christ" (or famous person) when some one says "you're not Jesus" turn around and say "Jesus? Where?"
4) befriend a zombie (don't try unless you're okay with being bitten)
3) give out autographs to complete strangers and pretend you're famous
2) divide by zero (it's a little harder than it looks)
1) walk up behind someone and whisper in their ear "I like mudkips...."
Lots of laughs...I recommend 3, 2 and 1
Ever met that one person who really really aggervates Ты , like constantly talking или doing everything Ты do , well im gonna help Ты deal with them without punching them in the face (kris style <3)
1) always carry a stress ball , those things do work , and if not , Ты can always throw it at him/her
2) Carry a подушка in Ты purse/bag , so if Ты need to scream , scream in the подушка , this pervents people from thinking your crazy
3) Earphones , Ты COULD use them to block that person out , but studies Показать that if that person happens to глотать, ласточка one of the earphones , they wont talk anymore ,
4)Just a hint ; throwing chairs never helps ,
5)Try to be their friend , mabey that'll work
6) if its your sibbling ,
Girl:flush her fav Барби doll
Boy:Flush his favorate comic book
mixed gender: Flush their face (:
Again; Kris style <3
any ideas on any other topis to make kris style , please tell me (: <3
KrisLovesYou !
1) always carry a stress ball , those things do work , and if not , Ты can always throw it at him/her
2) Carry a подушка in Ты purse/bag , so if Ты need to scream , scream in the подушка , this pervents people from thinking your crazy
3) Earphones , Ты COULD use them to block that person out , but studies Показать that if that person happens to глотать, ласточка one of the earphones , they wont talk anymore ,
4)Just a hint ; throwing chairs never helps ,
5)Try to be their friend , mabey that'll work
6) if its your sibbling ,
Girl:flush her fav Барби doll
Boy:Flush his favorate comic book
mixed gender: Flush their face (:
Again; Kris style <3
any ideas on any other topis to make kris style , please tell me (: <3
KrisLovesYou !
I am sorry. I hate it when i have to do this, because i know that it's really silly! But the only reason why i wouldn't Фан anyone back, would be if they had joined the twilight saga club. I can see it on their Профиль and i immediately go all prejudice against them.
I shouldn't, i know, but it's against my morals to Фан someone who loves the Twilight saga. If you're only a Фан of Twilight, sometimes i forgive you... if you've done something to earn my respect.
Which would lead me onto my Далее reason...
If Ты have done nothing to earn my friendship, and not joined any of my favourite/major clubs, then i don't feel obliged to Фан you.
However, if i can see that you're a Фан of 'Random' или 'Harry Potter' или 'HP v T' etc, then the probability is that i will Фан Ты back.
On the other hand, if Ты are looking at this thinking that Ты haven't done any of these things, then feel free to Фан me... i'll gladly return the favour! :)
xxx
I shouldn't, i know, but it's against my morals to Фан someone who loves the Twilight saga. If you're only a Фан of Twilight, sometimes i forgive you... if you've done something to earn my respect.
Which would lead me onto my Далее reason...
If Ты have done nothing to earn my friendship, and not joined any of my favourite/major clubs, then i don't feel obliged to Фан you.
However, if i can see that you're a Фан of 'Random' или 'Harry Potter' или 'HP v T' etc, then the probability is that i will Фан Ты back.
On the other hand, if Ты are looking at this thinking that Ты haven't done any of these things, then feel free to Фан me... i'll gladly return the favour! :)
xxx