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OK so recently i figured out that when my sister allie gets scared really uber bad she freak'n FLIPS OUT and starts randomly punching and hitting the closest person 2 her hahaha. i learned that the hard way when my cat was trying 2 eat her cerial ...... so this was like sometime last год and me and my sister allie had JUST got back from skool, so of course the 1st thing we go 4 is the food. she pours the bowl of cerial and the молоко and what not and she sits down at the таблица and the cat desides 2 try 2 eat her cerial. so of coarse allie ain't feel'n that so she throws the cat out the window (its ok she didnt have far 2 fall haha) and then i sit down with my bowl and there the cat is again! trying 2 eat allie's cerial, so i throw her out again not thinking anything of it. then i say "wait! allie? how'd the cat get back n i just threw her out!" and allies like all " um idk the play room door is shut so- ..... oh crap!" and then i get what shes saying and realizes that all though the play room door was shut the living room door was still open and she could have got n through the doggy door. andi was like "allie! hurry, the door!" and we both jumped out of r seats and run 2 the door. we looked 2 see if she was out there and just as soon as we do we see her head coming through the doggy door and we were like "ah! shes coming! shut the door!" and right now we both r just like screaming r heads off and r n a total panic! so we quickly try 2 shut the door, but it wont close and so i look down 2 see the метла laying n the door way. i screamed "allie! the broom, the broom! we gotta Переместить the broom!" so as i pick up the метла and throw it out there as fast as i've ever thrown a метла out a door, my sister is setting there screaming "ah! shes coming shes coming hurry!" and so i Переместить out of the doorway real fast and we both shut the door with a loud slam! we barly made it! but my sister allie and i r still screaming from the horror! and allie is like hitting me really hard and slapping my and punching me! so unable 2 defend myself from her crazy kung fu skills! i fall on the floor and we both stop screaming and automaticly start cracking up laughing and allie was laughing so hard that she fell on вверх of me. we started litteraly rolling on the on the floor laughing. hahaha! and the moral of this story is that when u throw ur phyco cat outof ur house make sher that there is NO WAY they can get back in!
added by GeekGirl
added by Kiniko90
added by Wolfdreamer9
Source: Deviantart
added by twilovers
Source: idk ):
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
posted by ITF
by Jami Sassone

The man with the metal rod returns today
He summons me in the most painful way
It burns. It stings. It's scorching hot.
I yell, "please stop!" He will not
Why?

To the rack; I brace for the worst
He violates me again; this time's not the first
Back to my cage, to wonder how long
Yearning for Ответы to what I've done wrong?

Nine months later the answer arrives
I now have someone for whom to survive
Three times I've felt love, one being today
Three times, as well, it's been taken away.
Why?

My молоко is for you, not him all
You enjoy what Ты eat, but remember my calls
When the cheese melts nicely...
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блины can be found in many cultures around the world, although they might not use the same ingredients as pancakes, they are generally similar in taste and texture.

Maple syrup, which goes great with pancakes, is actually a дерево sap, that comes from the кленовый, клен tree, which is found mostly in the Canadian region.

The French often make a wish while turning the pancake during the cooking process, while holding a coin in the other hand.

The first recipe for блины were listed in the 15th century, in a English cookbook.

The world's largest pancake was cooked in Roch-dale Manchester in the год 1994,...
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NOT SLASH!
Note: I can not freaking write ;3;
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Jaime couldn't believe how much the newest team member, the hyperactive teen speedster from the future, had seemed to enjoy being around him. It seemed whenever they were even in the same room together Bart would rush over to start talking to him. He didn't know why his new friend had liked him so much, he liked everybody on the team, but not near as much as him.

It wasn't anything extremely close, but it was close as two guys could get without being gay. That may sound strange, but it's pretty much the only way one...
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posted by sideshowbobbart
1) Ты will go slightly out of your way to step on a crunchy looking leaf

2) Ты will check the Fridge to see if any Еда has magically appeared

3)You hate it when its all quiet and Ты are eating something crunchy

4) The guy who discovered milk...what was he doing to the cow?

5) When we were little, why were we so scared of our parents counting to three?

6) Ты hate it when Ты run out of hot water in the middle of a shower

7) It sucks when Ты are in the middle of a huge argument and realize Ты are wrong

8) Ты think of the best thing to say to your rival 10 минуты after the right moment

9)...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
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Abounding times in your life Ты will meet mean или rude people that Ты dislike, but you'll still have to pretend to like them anyway. This Статья will teach Ты all about how to deal with them.

1)Look right at them say their name and ask them politely to stop. Keep repeating until their attitude changes или they stop. Example "Mike, please stop", или Ты can say, "That's not appreciated, please cut that out." Don't keep increasing aggressiveness until the balance of power is equalized, it just will make things worse.
2)Don't try to be better than them, it will make the situation worse. If they...
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One день a group of girls were having fun and being crazy, laughing and talking to each other in funny voices, careless of what the other kids at school thought of them. A girl walked up to them and told them they were all pathetic losers, giving each of the girls a different insult. She then walked away with her head held high. All the girls looked at each other and burst into laughter. The mean girl turned around and asked
“Why are Ты laughing? I just insulted all of Ты losers”
“Well, we just find it hilariously pathetic how Ты feel Ты have to take the time to make fun of us. Ты obviously...
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posted by j-bfan7
My name is Chris ,

I am three,

My eyes are swollen..

I cannot see.



I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made,

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly

, Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me.



I can't do a wrong,

I can't speak at all,

Or else I'm locked up,

All день long.



When I'm awake,

I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.



I just heard a car,

My daddy is back,

From Charlie's bar



I hear him curse,

My name is called ,

I press myself,

Against the wall.



I try...
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1. The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird.

2. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

3. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds!

4. A крыса survive longer without water than a camel.

5. Toupees for Собаки are sold in Tokyo

6. A дельфин sleeps with one eye open

7. A крокодил can't stick it's tounge out

8. A mammal's blood is red, an insect's blood is yellow, and a lobster's blood is blue!

9. Loud, fast Музыка makes termites chew faster

10. A blue whale's tounge weighs еще than a elephant

11. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing

12. Acarophobia is the fear of itching

13. Agyrophobia...
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posted by starwarsfangirl
These are just Болталка ways to eat my Избранное cookies: oreos.
A lot of these sound really weird and gross, but they're actually pretty good.

1. without milk
2. with milk
3. with chocoloate milk
4. with клубника milk
5. frozen
6. Холодное сердце with milk
7. Холодное сердце with warm milk
8. with honey
9. in ice cream
10. in Холодное сердце yogurt
11. in Холодное сердце yogurt with honey
12. with 7up
13. with арахис butter
14. Холодное сердце with арахис butter
15. Холодное сердце with 7up
16. with арахис масло, сливочное масло and 7up
17. with вишня 7up
18. Холодное сердце with вишня 7up
19. Холодное сердце with арахис масло, сливочное масло and вишня 7up
20. by itself

If Ты try any of these and like it, please write a Комментарий and tell me which one(s) Ты tried. :)
Five easy ways that lemons can kill you. (some of these are ironic, but if Ты think about it, sometimes they can happen!!!)

1. A лимон is lying on the вверх step, and Ты are carrying your laptop in your hands when your about to go down the steps. секунды later Ты land on your ass, and Далее Ты are in the hospital with a severe concussion.

2. A лимон is sweet and fresh, and your mother uses it in her cooking. of course, she doesn't see the bite marks on the back of the лимон that was created by your dog when the basket was too close to the edge a few days ago, so she squeezes the лимон into her...
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I was bored so I wrote this for anyone who doesn't know me...Sort of entertaining.

Ash

Yeah,I'm different, don't think I will be offended if Ты ever, one день decide to call me that. If Ты think I'm insane, run away, because Ты are probably right. Think I need help? Of course I do. Find me stupid?I will not contradict you, and I will not deny it. Want to make me jealous? Not going to happen. Feel like I'm asking too many questions?Yeah, me too Ты a little annoyed that I keep doing this? Haha, It was meant to makeyou a little annoyed. Ты think that I'm just babbling here? Click the little X at the right hand corner of the screen/tab. Don't know whereit is? Get the crud out of your eyes.

Um...I am Ash. And I approve this message .
Ok so me and a friend wrote a little play on the school bus. It's about two Друзья riding the bus together and chatting. It's called Druckies. Not sure why but the two characters are named Z and Awesome

Awesome:Hey

Z:hi!I like pie

Awesome:Ok....

Z:Whats my Z stand for?

Awesome: Zebra. Yup your new name is Zebra

Z:COOL!

Awesome:Don't forget to remeber me...

Z:I see a пони with dolk-a-dots

Awesome: With strawberries.

Z:OOOO and cotton candy!

Awesome: Cotton candy?

Z:I'm going to marry big bird.

Awesome: Good luck with that

Z:Oh look a red fox. AWW! that red лиса, фокс is eating a kitty! No wait thats not a cat...
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posted by shiriny
-It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

-People say "Bless you" when Ты sneeze because when Ты sneeze, your сердце stops for a millisecond.

-It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky

-111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-All polar bears are left handed.

-Butterflies taste with their feet.

-A улитка can sleep for three years.

-Elephants are the only Животные that can't jump

-On average, people fear spiders еще than they do death.

-The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

-Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

-Men can read smaller print than women,...
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