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posted by LocalArtistist
Do Ты work at Subway? Because Ты just gave me a footlong.
Hi, do Ты want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang Ты on every piece of furniture in my home.
I'm no weather man, but Ты can expect еще than a few inches tonight.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Эй, babe, how about a пицца and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't Ты like pizza?
Do Ты work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw Ты checking out my package.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
Эй, baby, I think Ты just made my two by four into a four by eight.
I'll give Ты a nickel if Ты tickle my pickle.
Ты are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
What's the speed of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 Ты have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my Далее mission is to explore Uranus.
If I had AIDS, would Ты have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do Ты give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
Miss, If you've Остаться в живых your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made Ты come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do Ты wanna come to the Marines, или would your rather have a Marine come into you?
There are 265 Кости in the human body. How would Ты like one more?
Why don't Ты come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Эй, baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Do Ты take Visa?
How do Ты like your eggs? Poached, scrambled или fertilized?
Ты smell... We should go take a душ together.
Would Ты like a hotdog to go with those buns?
Are Ты a virgin? [No] Prove it!
Ты bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what Ты think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some Поэзия in motion?
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an час fast!
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" Ты do down.
Would Ты like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
Do Ты believe in free love? [No] Then how much do Ты cost?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm gay. Do Ты think Ты can convert me?
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add еще lubricants.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
What are Ты doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will Ты be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like Ты doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
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