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When life gives Ты lemons, make оранжевый сок and leave the world wondering how the heck Ты did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first Ты don't succeed, destroy everything.

An яблоко a день can keep any doctor away if Ты throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 еще letters in the alphabet.

Do Ты believe in Любовь at first sight, или should I walk by again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, Любовь you, talk to Ты later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download Еда from the internet.

Dear life, when I asked if my день could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the Стена gets in the way.

That annoying moment when Ты finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, Ты need to use the restroom.

Ты don't notice the air, at least until someone spoils it.

Aim for the moon! Even if Ты miss, you'll land among the stars! But either way, you'll run out of oxygen eventually.

Hmm.... I could kill this person and nobody would notice.... Wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL BRAIN!?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

When a bird hits your window have Ты ever wondered if God's playing Angry Birds with you?

"Just five еще minutes!" Always means the person will never get ready. :D

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

That moment when Ты see a YouTube channel with the usual blue anonymous person on it, but with a spider, and Ты think it's real.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

Have Ты ever had a fly или small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Me talking to anyone else: "Hey, what's up? :D" Me talking to a girl I like: "uH HelO hOWZ yU dNGoi toDAY? @__@"

It doesn't matter whether Ты win или lose, what matters is if I win или lose.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, fires, screaming, my work here is done. :D

Don't steal, lie, cheat, или sell drugs. The government hates competition!

Keep talking, maybe someday I'll finally listen.

I was wondering why the Black Knight's shovel was getting bigger, then it hit me!

Pac-Man: "I see dead people..."

(Hope Ты enjoyed! If we can get 5 fans, I'll add more! ^___^)
added by Gretulee
added by nmdis
added by nmdis
added by nmdis
added by 3xZ
Source: 3xZ
added by superDivya
Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I Любовь GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to Ты say, "Why don't Ты speak еще clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim Ты are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe Ты but DONT give up, see how far Ты can get ( WARNING, may result in Ты being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when Ты are the only one laughing.

4. when...
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added by Drisina
Source: Google Обои
added by vanillaicecream
{Sally's POV}


"I think i'm gonna settle this." Jane got up and ran inside the school.

"This is not going to end well." Me, Ben and scissor mouth said.

We all left the bench at the same time almost bumping into each other going into the building.

"Ben, what did she mean by 'settle this'? I asked him, holding his hand.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not gonna end well." Ben said, Letting go of may hand.

While we were walking we so Jane and Jeff.

We stopped where we were.

"Well, well,well. Guess who came crawling back!" Jeff said, playing with his knife.

"I CAME TO FUCKING SETTLE THIS!" Jane...
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added by bvbmary15
Ghetto Names

Mostly Популярное with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming еще common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us by our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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 Хеталия COZ I CAN XD
hetalia COZ I CAN XD
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and
saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
wear it out!”
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
go if he died tomorrow....
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added by pinkbloom
Source: Facebook/twitter
added by Canada24
added by legend_of_roxas
added by nmdis
Source: wallhaven .com
added by shaneoohmac13