Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If Ты think you're fat, Ты probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If Ты ask a Вопрос Ты don't want an answer to, expect an
answer Ты don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless Ты are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Собаки are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon или the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything Ты wear is fine. Really.
13. Ты have enough clothes.
14. Ты have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if Ты must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what Ты want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what день it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is еще difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes Ты think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we сказал(-а) 6 или 8 months назад is inadmissible in an
argument. All Комментарии become null and void after 7 days.
30. If Ты don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we сказал(-а) can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes Ты sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty Ты are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if Ты don't want the genie to come out.
34. Ты can either ask us to do something или tell us how Ты want it done- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever Ты have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
Ты do.
39. Telling us that the Модели in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes Ты look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from Чтение the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.
If this offended any Girls throughout this‚ i'm sorry... but us girls should know this
1. If Ты think you're fat, Ты probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If Ты ask a Вопрос Ты don't want an answer to, expect an
answer Ты don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless Ты are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Собаки are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon или the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything Ты wear is fine. Really.
13. Ты have enough clothes.
14. Ты have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if Ты must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what Ты want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what день it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is еще difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes Ты think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we сказал(-а) 6 или 8 months назад is inadmissible in an
argument. All Комментарии become null and void after 7 days.
30. If Ты don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we сказал(-а) can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes Ты sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty Ты are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if Ты don't want the genie to come out.
34. Ты can either ask us to do something или tell us how Ты want it done- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever Ты have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
Ты do.
39. Telling us that the Модели in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes Ты look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from Чтение the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.
If this offended any Girls throughout this‚ i'm sorry... but us girls should know this
MARY HAD A LITLE LMB LITLE LMB LITLE LMB MARY HAD A LITL3 LMB WHOSE FLECE WAS WHIET AS SNOW
SNG1!!1!11 WTF A SONG OF SIXPENC3 A POK3T FUL OF RY3!1!! OMG LOL FOUR AND TWENTY BLAKBIRDS BAEKD IN A PEI1!!!11 OMG WTF LOL WHAN TEH PEI WAS OP3NED DA BIRDS BGAON 2 SNG1!1!11 LOL WASNT TAHT A DANETY DISH 2 SET BFORA DA KNG
TWINKLE???!???? LOL TWINKLA LITL3 STAR1!!!!1 WTF LOL HOW I WONDAR WUT U AER1!!11! OMG UP ABOV3 TEH WORLD SO HIGH1!!1 WTF LOL LIEK A DIMOND IN DA SKY1!11 TWINKL3 TWINKLE LITLA STAR!!11 OMG HOW I WONDER WUT U AER111!
i could barely read this and again this is from the internet<33
SNG1!!1!11 WTF A SONG OF SIXPENC3 A POK3T FUL OF RY3!1!! OMG LOL FOUR AND TWENTY BLAKBIRDS BAEKD IN A PEI1!!!11 OMG WTF LOL WHAN TEH PEI WAS OP3NED DA BIRDS BGAON 2 SNG1!1!11 LOL WASNT TAHT A DANETY DISH 2 SET BFORA DA KNG
TWINKLE???!???? LOL TWINKLA LITL3 STAR1!!!!1 WTF LOL HOW I WONDAR WUT U AER1!!11! OMG UP ABOV3 TEH WORLD SO HIGH1!!1 WTF LOL LIEK A DIMOND IN DA SKY1!11 TWINKL3 TWINKLE LITLA STAR!!11 OMG HOW I WONDER WUT U AER111!
i could barely read this and again this is from the internet<33
Feel free to use them
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the медведь wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I Любовь Ты in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the медведь wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I Любовь Ты in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
The Engineer
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty Популярное guy.
One день God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here или I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are Ты going to get a lawyer?"
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty Популярное guy.
One день God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here или I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are Ты going to get a lawyer?"
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