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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the таблица with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the молоко carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check или charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a Телевидение set in her purse.
"So, do Ты always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how Ты can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He Ответы that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few минуты later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought Ты were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the молоко carton!)

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a скотный двор, коровник of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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WORDS

A husband read an Статья to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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CREATION

A man сказал(-а) to his wife one day, "I don't know how Ты can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so Ты would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to Ты !

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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the Далее day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The Далее morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .


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posted by Forgot_To_Laugh
The sky turned as dark as the eerie path in an endless cave as I walked briskly up the pathway of my new house. I finally reached the door and the strong, cold wind howled in my ears and tore away the last of autumn's golden leaves. I took a deep breath, opened the door and cautiously stepped inside. I was greeted by a grand entrance hall and the greatest flight of stairs I've ever seen! I decided to take a tour around this magnificent mansion. "Am I dead или am I alive?" I'd whisper, absolutely stunned. I opened the door of my new bedroom. I felt a buzz of excitement erupt in me. There was a portrait that hung over the king size bed. It was of a girl with long, wavy ginger hair. she wore a navy ball платье, бальное платье and her eyes shone like sapphires. I unpacked my bags, got into my PJs and read a chapter of my book.
Note: This was done as a dare from one of my friends. >.> I don't like writing, and I'm really not into romance, so this is going to be a real challenge for me. This will turn out horrible, I can tell. o3o

She shivers, and wraps her scarf around herself a bit tighter. A few snowflakes delicately falls from the grey sky, a few of them landed on her long, thick lashes.

She glances wistfully out into the horizon. He will be here soon, или so she hopes. She comes here every week, no matter the weather, hoping to see him again. It had been three full years already, since he left. She'd promised...
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Logical reasons...
why Harry Potter v.s Twilight

*WARNING SPOILERS*

Hi! I'm Cinnominbubble and I have noticed the war between fandoms have been going on for a while with no clear outcome. There is a reason to this-We are stubborn. Twihards want to stick up for Stephanie Meyer, whilst Potterheads want to do the same for J. K. Rowling. But, I have noticed something. Many of our reasonings aren't exactly logical. I mean, not to be offensive, some of our strongest points are downright idiotic!(from both sides) I'd like to come up with some smarter points to help people see our side of the story, whatever...
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Brillindier, The Shadow Forest, год 7853009

A tower of stone rises out from the hills, so tall it comes above the trees. Silver water falls over the towers from the mountainside. Elves dwell in this castle, merrily Пение and dancing in the halls, yet their king, Airune approaches, thus they fall silent. His dark ebony robes fall back behind him and his hair is in a thick braid, of which falls below his knees.
'My young servants,' Airune addresses his servants, 'what silences thee? Are ye afraid of thy king?'
'No, my lord,' a young woman under the name of Hsiviam spoke up.
Airune turned to thy...
continue reading...
Carcisia Gruesetal skipped down the drveway, a slightly damp, redish envolope in her hand. She went into her house and layed the envolope on the table. she looked at the adress on the back of the envolope. It read in spidery handwriting; from anonymous.

A shiver ran down Carcisia's spine but she opened the envolope anyways. She pulled out a damp red letter. She unfolded it. Written in blood it said; IT IS YOUR TURN! DON'T TRY TO GET AWAY! YOUR FATE IS DECIDED!

Carcisia screamed and ran out of her house, but a tall man with long brown hair stood in her way. He hand cuffed her and shoved her...
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 Could This be The Proof of Life We've Been Looking For?
Could This be The Proof of Life We've Been Looking For?
recently NASA received pictures from their rover in Mars. none of the фото looked odd except one. they looked еще into the matter. at first they claimed it to be a simple chemical compound mix making a shape but now they're not so sure. some still claim it to be nothing but others are saying that life has finally been found. in that picture there is 2 rocks and in the middle of them there appears to be a rat. so what do Ты think? life finally proved или a chemical compound making an unusual shape?
 curiosity rover
curiosity rover
This is important to horror Фаны and collectors alike because as Child's Play series Фаны we are extremely limited in choice as far as accurate replicas go and are forced to pay ridiculous amounts of money for one replica usually of foreign origin because every single worth while piece created for this film is of limited release and considered extremely rare. It's not right for Фаны of the series to have to pay 2,000 average for a replica and one from 5 years назад at that. We want a "to scale" accurate replica of Chucky from the original Child's Play films in his unstitched form.

Please sign this petition, it'd mean a lot to me!: link
posted by StarWarrior
PROLOGE
“You can’t!” I screeched, griping the thick трава beneath my paws.
    “The whole forest will belong to the Pack of Shadows!” the dark волк exclaimed enthusiastically, his мех flickering like shadows, “No волк will stop us!”
    I have to do something! I couldn’t let it end like this! Not with the alpha in this state! Not with the pack трещина, сплит in four!
    “Out of my way pup!” he tossed me aside like a tiny mouse.
    “No!” I leaped at him, biting and clawing with all my strength.
    “This is pointless! Ты cannot defeat me she-wolf!” I felt him bite me and fling me away again. I was too tired to Переместить now, after traveling this far without resting, I can no longer breathe enough to live.
    I’m over; this is the end of the Pack of Ice! I lay winded and defeated, awaiting death’s arrival patiently.
posted by klaine_forever
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Prologue

The sun is just минуты from rising and the night is growing lighter. An alter made entirely of blue marble, jade, and amethyst is illuminated. Two tiny Дети lie on вверх writhing and screaming in discomfort. They are naked, only a few days old and the chill of the stone slowly seeping into their Кости will surely kill them. The larger of the two will not stop screaming while her twin just sobs quietly.
Their frail mother stands a few feet away determined to finish what she came here to do but her eyes are bloodshot and red raw from her constant tears. But she is not alone. Her husband...
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