Come at me bro

Dear Noah, We could've sworn Ты сказал(-а) the ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, the Unicorns.

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Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.

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The guy who puts down Собаки at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do Ты do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."

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Do Ты know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.

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The worst time to have a сердце attack is during a game of charades.

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You cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.

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"Want to play the rape game?"...

Haha I read this (from my email)
And I thought of sharing it with Ты guys :D

...


Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Титаник first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character или the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxi's stop...